Correction/Myths and Heroes
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Message de mimie29 posté le 09-04-2017 à 07:59:11 (S | E | F)
Bonjour !
Je suis en Terminale S et je passe mes oraux d'anglais début mai. J'aimerais bien de l'aide pour corriger mon texte.
Merci beaucoup d'avance pour votre aide !
Myths and heroes
I am goig to present you the notion ''Myths and heroes''. A myth is a traditional story, or a fiction invented by men. A hero is famous for his exploits. It can be a fictional, a historical or a real character. We will interest ourselves in historical heroes. In 1776, the Declaration of Independence stated the American citizens' basic rights. After the civil war, slavery was abolished. But Southern states wrote black cods to keep the whites above the blacks. Blacks were not considered as men. So, black heroes were born changing blacks' life. But, all the heroes didn't change the world in the same way. So, we will answer the question '' To what extent were Malcolm X and Martin Luther King differents heroes ?''. First, I will talk about Malcolm X and then, I will present MLK.
Firstly, I will talk about Malcolm X. Malcolm X was an Afro-American and a human rights activist. He was born in 1925. As we can see in one of his speech, Malcolm X was said to be violent. He was a revolutionary man. Indeed, we can read the words ''problem'' or ''ennemy''. Malcolm X considered white people as his ennemies. He wanted his black audience to prepare a counter-attack against whites. He pounded his words like a politician. He aimed at shocking his audience instead of comforting them. To prove this, we can quote one of his famous sentences : '' Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you are a man, you take it.''. So, he encouraged black people to fight for their basic rights. He believed it was the only way to get them.
So, Malcolm X was a human rights activist who wanted black people to fight against white people to give their rights and to take a revenge.
Secondly, I will present Martin Luther King. MLK, who was born in 1929, was also an Afro-American and a human rights activist. However, contrary to Malcolm X, he was a pacifist who struggled for peace and against poverty. He inspired non violent protests wich are called ''sit-ins''. In the document ''Means of protest'', we can see that this movement consists of staying in a place where black people were not accepted. Indignant, white people humiliate blacks throwing on them some eggs or other food. Then, blacks were beaten but they never revolted them. One hundred years after the Declaration of Emancipation, in 1963, MLK pronounced a famous speech at the March on Washington : ''I have a dream''. In his speech, he dreams of equality between people. He hopes one day blacks and whites will live in harmony in the whole nation. He tinks people must be united and fight together from freedom. His dream was deeply rooted in the American Dream.
So, MLK was a pacifist who wanted the equality between blaks and whites. He thought black people could fulfil their dreams and have access to the American way of life.
To conclude, both black leaders wanted the blacks' condition to change and did all they could for their struggle. Their main difference relies on their idea of fight. MLK was a pacifist whereas Malcolm X was said to be violent. MLK fought for civil rights while Malcolm X was more of a revolutionary man. Both men were considered as dangers to American society and were killed.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 09-04-2017 09:07
Message de mimie29 posté le 09-04-2017 à 07:59:11 (S | E | F)
Bonjour !
Je suis en Terminale S et je passe mes oraux d'anglais début mai. J'aimerais bien de l'aide pour corriger mon texte.
Merci beaucoup d'avance pour votre aide !
Myths and heroes
I am goig to present you the notion ''Myths and heroes''. A myth is a traditional story, or a fiction invented by men. A hero is famous for his exploits. It can be a fictional, a historical or a real character. We will interest ourselves in historical heroes. In 1776, the Declaration of Independence stated the American citizens' basic rights. After the civil war, slavery was abolished. But Southern states wrote black cods to keep the whites above the blacks. Blacks were not considered as men. So, black heroes were born changing blacks' life. But, all the heroes didn't change the world in the same way. So, we will answer the question '' To what extent were Malcolm X and Martin Luther King differents heroes ?''. First, I will talk about Malcolm X and then, I will present MLK.
Firstly, I will talk about Malcolm X. Malcolm X was an Afro-American and a human rights activist. He was born in 1925. As we can see in one of his speech, Malcolm X was said to be violent. He was a revolutionary man. Indeed, we can read the words ''problem'' or ''ennemy''. Malcolm X considered white people as his ennemies. He wanted his black audience to prepare a counter-attack against whites. He pounded his words like a politician. He aimed at shocking his audience instead of comforting them. To prove this, we can quote one of his famous sentences : '' Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you are a man, you take it.''. So, he encouraged black people to fight for their basic rights. He believed it was the only way to get them.
So, Malcolm X was a human rights activist who wanted black people to fight against white people to give their rights and to take a revenge.
Secondly, I will present Martin Luther King. MLK, who was born in 1929, was also an Afro-American and a human rights activist. However, contrary to Malcolm X, he was a pacifist who struggled for peace and against poverty. He inspired non violent protests wich are called ''sit-ins''. In the document ''Means of protest'', we can see that this movement consists of staying in a place where black people were not accepted. Indignant, white people humiliate blacks throwing on them some eggs or other food. Then, blacks were beaten but they never revolted them. One hundred years after the Declaration of Emancipation, in 1963, MLK pronounced a famous speech at the March on Washington : ''I have a dream''. In his speech, he dreams of equality between people. He hopes one day blacks and whites will live in harmony in the whole nation. He tinks people must be united and fight together from freedom. His dream was deeply rooted in the American Dream.
So, MLK was a pacifist who wanted the equality between blaks and whites. He thought black people could fulfil their dreams and have access to the American way of life.
To conclude, both black leaders wanted the blacks' condition to change and did all they could for their struggle. Their main difference relies on their idea of fight. MLK was a pacifist whereas Malcolm X was said to be violent. MLK fought for civil rights while Malcolm X was more of a revolutionary man. Both men were considered as dangers to American society and were killed.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 09-04-2017 09:07
Réponse : Correction/Myths and Heroes de bluestar, postée le 09-04-2017 à 14:26:23 (S | E)
Bonjour...erreurs en bleu, quelques suggestions en vert
I am goig to present to you the notion ''Myths and heroes''. A myth is a traditional story, or a fiction invented by men. A hero is famous for his exploits. It can be a fictional, a historical or a real character. We will interest ourselves in historical heroes. In 1776, the Declaration of Independence stated the American citizens' basic rights. After the civil war, slavery was abolished. But Southern states wrote black cods to keep the whites above the blacks. Blacks were not considered as men. So, black heroes were born changing blacks' life (pluriel). But, all the heroes didn't change the world in the same way. So, we will answer the question '' To what extent were Malcolm X and Martin Luther King differents (adjectifs invariant) heroes ?''. First, I will talk about Malcolm X and then, I will present MLK.
Firstly, I will talk about Malcolm X. Malcolm X was an Afro-American and a human rights activist. He was born in 1925. As we can see in one of his speech (pluriel) Malcolm X was said to be violent. He was a revolutionary man. Indeed, we can read the words ''problem'' or ''ennemy'(orth. a verifier). Malcolm X considered white people as his ennemies. He wanted his black audience to prepare a counter-attack against whites. He pounded his words like a politician. He aimed at shocking his audience instead of comforting them. To prove this, we can quote one of his famous sentences : '' Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you are a man, you take it.''. So, he encouraged black people to fight for their basic rights. He believed it was the only way to get them.
So, Malcolm X was a human rights activist who wanted black people to fight against white people to give their rights and to take a revenge. (je dirais "to get their rights and take revenge" (pas a revenge))
Secondly, I will present Martin Luther King. MLK, who was born in 1929, was also an Afro-American and a human rights activist. However, contrary to Malcolm X, he was a pacifist who struggled for peace and against poverty. He inspired non violent protests wich are(temps?) called ''sit-ins''. In the document ''Means of protest'', we can see that this movement consists of staying in a place where black people were not accepted. Indignant, white people humiliate(temps?) blacks throwing
So, MLK was a pacifist who wanted
To conclude, both black leaders wanted the blacks' condition to change and did all they could for their struggle. Their main difference relies (pas le bon verbe) on their idea of fight. MLK was a pacifist whereas Malcolm X was said to be violent. MLK fought for civil rights while Malcolm X was more of a revolutionary man. Both men were considered as dangers to American society and were killed.
Réponse : Correction/Myths and Heroes de mimie29, postée le 09-04-2017 à 22:43:57 (S | E)
Bonsoir, merci beaucoup pour votre aide ! J'ai essayé de corriger mes erreurs, pouvez-vous vérifier si cela est bien fait ? Les mots en vert sont ceux que je n'ai pas changé. En effet, par ''black's life'' j'entends la vie des noirs donc je ne vois pas d'erreur. Autrement, pour ''differents heroes'', je ne sais pas comment remplacer differents. Merci d'avance !
Myths and heroes
I am going to present to you the notion ''Myths and heroes''. A myth is a traditional story, or a fiction invented by men. A hero is famous for his exploits. It can be a fictional, a historical or a real character. We will interest ourselves in historical heroes. In 1776, the Declaration of Independence stated the American citizens' basic rights. After the civil war, slavery was abolished. But Southern states wrote black codes to keep the whites above the blacks. Blacks were not considered as men. So, black heroes were born changing blacks' life. But, all the heroes didn't change the world in the same way. So, we will answer the question '' To what extent were Malcolm X and Martin Luther King differents heroes ?''. First, I will talk about Malcolm X and then, I will present MLK.
Firstly, I will talk about Malcolm X. Malcolm X was an Afro-American and a human rights activist. He was born in 1925. As we can see in one of his speeches, Malcolm X was said to be violent. He was a revolutionary man. Indeed, we can read the words ''problem'' or ''enemy''. Malcolm X considered white people as his enemies. He wanted his black audience to prepare a counter-attack against whites. He pounded his words like a politician. He aimed at shocking his audience instead of comforting them. To prove this, we can quote one of his famous sentences : '' Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you are a man, you take it.''. So, he encouraged black people to fight for their basic rights. He believed it was the only way to get them.
So, Malcolm X was a human rights activist who wanted black people to fight against white people to get their rights and take revenge.
Secondly, I will present Martin Luther King. MLK, who was born in 1929, was also an Afro-American and a human rights activist. However, contrary to Malcolm X, he was a pacifist who struggled for peace and against poverty. He inspired non violent protests, called ''sit-ins''. In the document ''Means of protest'', we can see that this movement consists of staying in a place where black people were not accepted. Indignant, white people humiliated blacks throwing some eggs or other food at them. Then, blacks were beaten but they never revolted. One hundred years after the Declaration of Emancipation, in 1963, MLK pronounced a famous speech at the March on Washington : ''I have a dream''. In his speech, he dreams of equality between people. He hopes one day blacks and whites will live in harmony in the whole nation. He thought people must be united and fight together from freedom. His dream was deeply rooted in the American Dream.
So, MLK was a pacifist who wanted equality between blacks and whites. He thought black people could fulfil their dreams and have access to the American way of life.
To conclude, both black leaders wanted the blacks' condition to change and did all they could for their struggle. Their main difference rests on their idea of fight. MLK was a pacifist whereas Malcolm X was said to be violent. MLK fought for civil rights while Malcolm X was more of a revolutionary man. Both men were considered as dangers to American society and were killed.
Réponse : Correction/Myths and Heroes de bluestar, postée le 10-04-2017 à 13:05:22 (S | E)
Bonjour..
So, black heroes were born changing blacks' life. Je dirais plutot "who changed black lives".Nous parlons de tous les noirs, pas seulement l'un d'entre eux.
"differents heroes"..En anglais, il n'y a pas de forme distincte d'adjectifs pluriel. Les adjectifs sont invariables, nous disons par exemple, " a small man" ...."two small men" (pas two smalls men)..Le français est différent, bien sûr.
Enfin, je ne commencerais pas deux phrases consécutives avec le mot "so". - pour l'euphonie
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