Correction/Idée de progrès
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Message de mimie29 posté le 08-04-2017 à 16:25:49 (S | E | F)
Bonjour !
Je suis en Terminale S et je passe mes oraux d'anglais début mai. J'aimerai bien de l'aide pour corriger mon texte.
Merci beaucoup d'avance pour votre aide !
The idea of progress
The idea of progress implies the idea of well-being and the improvement of men's life. It is present in different sectors such as medicine, technology or science. During our century, numerous innovations appeared, especially in the science. Indeed, the science progresses every day and new healing methods are created. Among scientist progress, there are PGD and the surrogacy who use genes to cure people or to create babies. We will answer the question : ''To what extent will genetics progress change our life ?''. First, we will talk about PGD and then, we will present the surrogacy.
Firstly, I will talk about PGD. PGD, pre-implantation genetic diagnosis, allows to avoid having a sick baby with the study of genes. It also allows to cure a person who is sick. For this, doctors picked out an embryo which could cure the patient and then, the cord blood cells were transplanted into his bone marrow. That is why Anna, in the movie ''My sister's keeper'', was created. Since she was young, his body is a reserve to her sister who has a leukemia. So, she doesn't have the control of her body. Furthermore, as we can reed in the text ''Design your baby'', PGD could be dangerous. Indeed, it could become a way of making a designer baby. Parents could choose the color of their baby's eyes, his skin, or his intelligence. So, we could create perfects babies.
So, PGD is a great progress because it allows to cure or to save people, but it could be dangerous if people abuse his utility.
Secondly, I will present the surrogacy. The surrogacy is a subject of many debates. In a recording, we can listen that some people are for the surrogacy because it allows to have a baby when a parent is infertile, or when a couple is homosexual or when a woman who doesn't have a husband wants a baby. But, some people are against because many children in the world wait to be adopted. Moreover, they think it's a way to exploit povrety because, in general, women who accept to are surrogates, are women who have any job and who are poor. This is the case of Sarita in the text ''A booming business''. Sarita lives in India. Her husband gets a paltry. She wanted to have more money so she became a surrogate. But, she was confronted to a problem : his country considers his act as an infidelity so she could become ostracized, rejected from society.
So, the surrogacy is an useful progress because it allows to give a baby to people who can't have one. However, the surrogate's life can be difficult if she isn't accept by her family or by the society.
To conclude, genetics progress can change our life in two ways. They can be beneficial because they can cure people or enlarge families by giving them a child. But, it threatens the natural course of life and the integration of surrogate women. Therefore, it must be used with responsability.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 08-04-2017 17:32
Message de mimie29 posté le 08-04-2017 à 16:25:49 (S | E | F)
Bonjour !
Je suis en Terminale S et je passe mes oraux d'anglais début mai. J'aimerai bien de l'aide pour corriger mon texte.
Merci beaucoup d'avance pour votre aide !
The idea of progress
The idea of progress implies the idea of well-being and the improvement of men's life. It is present in different sectors such as medicine, technology or science. During our century, numerous innovations appeared, especially in the science. Indeed, the science progresses every day and new healing methods are created. Among scientist progress, there are PGD and the surrogacy who use genes to cure people or to create babies. We will answer the question : ''To what extent will genetics progress change our life ?''. First, we will talk about PGD and then, we will present the surrogacy.
Firstly, I will talk about PGD. PGD, pre-implantation genetic diagnosis, allows to avoid having a sick baby with the study of genes. It also allows to cure a person who is sick. For this, doctors picked out an embryo which could cure the patient and then, the cord blood cells were transplanted into his bone marrow. That is why Anna, in the movie ''My sister's keeper'', was created. Since she was young, his body is a reserve to her sister who has a leukemia. So, she doesn't have the control of her body. Furthermore, as we can reed in the text ''Design your baby'', PGD could be dangerous. Indeed, it could become a way of making a designer baby. Parents could choose the color of their baby's eyes, his skin, or his intelligence. So, we could create perfects babies.
So, PGD is a great progress because it allows to cure or to save people, but it could be dangerous if people abuse his utility.
Secondly, I will present the surrogacy. The surrogacy is a subject of many debates. In a recording, we can listen that some people are for the surrogacy because it allows to have a baby when a parent is infertile, or when a couple is homosexual or when a woman who doesn't have a husband wants a baby. But, some people are against because many children in the world wait to be adopted. Moreover, they think it's a way to exploit povrety because, in general, women who accept to are surrogates, are women who have any job and who are poor. This is the case of Sarita in the text ''A booming business''. Sarita lives in India. Her husband gets a paltry. She wanted to have more money so she became a surrogate. But, she was confronted to a problem : his country considers his act as an infidelity so she could become ostracized, rejected from society.
So, the surrogacy is an useful progress because it allows to give a baby to people who can't have one. However, the surrogate's life can be difficult if she isn't accept by her family or by the society.
To conclude, genetics progress can change our life in two ways. They can be beneficial because they can cure people or enlarge families by giving them a child. But, it threatens the natural course of life and the integration of surrogate women. Therefore, it must be used with responsability.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 08-04-2017 17:32
Réponse : Correction/Idée de progrès de laure95, postée le 08-04-2017 à 20:46:45 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
- During our century, numerous innovations appeared: present perfect.
- especially in the (pas de the) science.
- Indeed, the (pas de the)science progresses (makes progress)every day
- there are PGD and the surrogacy who (pas le bon relatif) use genes to cure people or to create babies.
- For this (mal dit), doctors picked o(présent)ut an embryo which could cure the patient
- and then, the cord blood cells were (présent)transplanted into his bone marrow.
- Since she was young, his body is (present prefect) a reserve to her sister who has a leukemia.
- if people abuse (préposition) his utility.
- The surrogacy is a subject of many debates; the surrogacy is an issue.
- a woman who doesn't have a husband: mal dit.
- many children in the world wait (present be +-ing) to be adopted.
- women who accept to are surrogates, are women who have any job: mal construit.
- But, she was confronted to a problem : his (pas le bon possessif)country considers his act as an infidelity
- an useful progress: A + MOT COMMENCANT PAR UNE CONSONNE.
- she isn't accept (participe passé) by her family or by the society.
Réponse : Correction/Idée de progrès de mimie29, postée le 08-04-2017 à 22:48:44 (S | E)
Bonsoir, merci pour votre aide !
J'ai essayé de corriger toutes mes erreurs, pouvez-vous me dire si c'est bien fait ? Par contre, je n'ai pas compris pourquoi ceci : Since she was young, his body is (present prefect) a reserve to her sister who has a leukemia. Son corps est toujours une réserve pour sa soeur, ce n'était pas seulement avant.. pourquoi du passé ? Je n'ai pas non plus changé cette phrase : The surrogacy is a subject of many debates; the surrogacy is an issue. Pour moi la surrogacy n'est pas un problème mais bien un sujet de débats.. je ne sais donc pas comment le remplacer.
Merci d'avance pour votre réponse.
The idea of progress
The idea of progress implies the idea of well-being and the improvement of men's life. It is present in different sectors such as medicine, technology or science. During our century, numerous innovations have appeared, especially in science. Indeed, science makes progress every day and new healing methods are created. Among scientist progress, there are PGD and the surrogacy which use genes to cure people or to create babies. We will answer the question : ''To what extent will genetics progress change our life ?''. First, I will talk about PGD and then, I will present the surrogacy.
Firstly, I will talk about PGD. PGD, pre-implantation genetic diagnosis, allows to avoid having a sick baby with the study of genes. It also allows to cure a person who is sick. To do that, doctors pick out an embryo which could cure the patient and then, the cord blood cells are transplanted into his bone marrow. That is why Anna, in the movie ''My sister's keeper'', was created. Since she was young, his body has been a reserve to her sister who has a leukemia. So, she doesn't have the control of her body. Furthermore, as we can reed in the text ''Design your baby'', PGD could be dangerous. Indeed, it could become a way of making a designer baby. Parents could choose the color of their baby's eyes, his skin, or his intelligence. So, we could create perfects babies.
So, PGD is a great progress because it allows to cure or to save people, but it could be dangerous if people abuse its utility.
Secondly, I will present the surrogacy. The surrogacy is (a subject of many debates). In a recording, we can listen that some people are for the surrogacy because it allows to have a baby when a parent is infertile, or when a couple is homosexual or when a woman who has no husband wants a baby. But, some people are against because many children in the world are waiting to be adopted. Moreover, they think it's a way to exploit povrety because, in general, women become surrogate mothers because they don't have any job and they are poor. This is the case of Sarita in the text ''A booming business''. Sarita lives in India. Her husband gets a paltry. She wanted to have more money so she became a surrogate. But, she was confronted to a problem : here country considers his act as an infidelity so she could become ostracized, rejected from society.
So, the surrogacy is a useful progress because it allows to give a baby to people who can't have one. However, the surrogate's life can be difficult if she isn't accepted by her family or by the society.
To conclude, genetics progress can change our life in two ways. They can be beneficial because they can cure people or enlarge families by giving them a child. But, it threatens the natural course of life and the integration of surrogate women. Therefore, it must be used with responsability.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 09-04-2017 07:53
Pas de rouge sur le forum, merci.
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Modifié par mimie29 le 09-04-2017 14:17
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