Which/whom
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Message de rita29 posté le 06-03-2017 à 19:14:05 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
En cours pour s'entraîner sur l'utilisation des which/who/whose/whom little/few the/rien et la conjugaison on a fait un thème mais on n'a pas eu de correction... Et on a contrôle au prochain cours là-dessus..
Est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait me corriger, et m'expliquer pourquoi la faute que j'ai faite est une faute...?
Merci d'avance pour ce travail d'envergure...
Voici le texte d'origine:
"Harry, qui jusqu’à ce moment-là avait toujours été un étudiant bien sage, décida de devenir hippy, ce qui ennuya fort ses parents et intrigua ses camarades qui ne s’attendaient pas à cela. « Ce qui me surprend le plus, » déclara Paul que l’on considérait comme le meilleur ami d’Harry, « c’est qu’il ne m’en ait pas parlé, à moi qui le connais depuis si longtemps. »
Le groupe dont Harry devint membre vivait dans une vieille ferme qu’ils avaient achetée en commun. La vie qu’ils menaient était exempte de tous les soucis matériels qui rendent l’existence si morne. Ils partageaient le peu d’argent qu’ils avaient, et tout ce qu’ils possédaient. Le chef spirituel, dont chacun reconnaissait la sagesse et que tous s’efforçaient d’imiter, portait une magnifique barbe. Les poèmes qu’il écrivait parlaient de paix et d’amour, et de voyages qui ne se font pas sur la route mais dans l’esprit."
Ma traduction:
Harry, who until this moment had always been a quiet student, decided to become a hippy, which annoyed his parents and puzzled his friends who had not been expecting such a thing. "What surprises me most", declaimed Paul whom we had considered as Harry's best friend, "is that he do not told me, to me who know him since a long time."
The group in which Harry became member was living in a old farm which they have bought together. The life which they led was exempt of all material problems which make the existence bleak. They were sharing the little money that they had, and all they had. The spiritual leader, whom each reconised the cleverness and whom everybody were trying to imitate, was wearing a beautiful beard. The poems which he was written spoken about peace and love, and about travels which are not made on the road but in the mind.
Merci beaucoup!! (j'espère que mon texte n'écorche pas trop les yeux...)
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 06-03-2017 23:08
Pas de rouge/rose sur les forums, merci. Ni de vert, inutile ici.
Message de rita29 posté le 06-03-2017 à 19:14:05 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
En cours pour s'entraîner sur l'utilisation des which/who/whose/whom little/few the/rien et la conjugaison on a fait un thème mais on n'a pas eu de correction... Et on a contrôle au prochain cours là-dessus..
Est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait me corriger, et m'expliquer pourquoi la faute que j'ai faite est une faute...?
Merci d'avance pour ce travail d'envergure...
Voici le texte d'origine:
"Harry, qui jusqu’à ce moment-là avait toujours été un étudiant bien sage, décida de devenir hippy, ce qui ennuya fort ses parents et intrigua ses camarades qui ne s’attendaient pas à cela. « Ce qui me surprend le plus, » déclara Paul que l’on considérait comme le meilleur ami d’Harry, « c’est qu’il ne m’en ait pas parlé, à moi qui le connais depuis si longtemps. »
Le groupe dont Harry devint membre vivait dans une vieille ferme qu’ils avaient achetée en commun. La vie qu’ils menaient était exempte de tous les soucis matériels qui rendent l’existence si morne. Ils partageaient le peu d’argent qu’ils avaient, et tout ce qu’ils possédaient. Le chef spirituel, dont chacun reconnaissait la sagesse et que tous s’efforçaient d’imiter, portait une magnifique barbe. Les poèmes qu’il écrivait parlaient de paix et d’amour, et de voyages qui ne se font pas sur la route mais dans l’esprit."
Ma traduction:
Harry, who until this moment had always been a quiet student, decided to become a hippy, which annoyed his parents and puzzled his friends who had not been expecting such a thing. "What surprises me most", declaimed Paul whom we had considered as Harry's best friend, "is that he do not told me, to me who know him since a long time."
The group in which Harry became member was living in a old farm which they have bought together. The life which they led was exempt of all material problems which make the existence bleak. They were sharing the little money that they had, and all they had. The spiritual leader, whom each reconised the cleverness and whom everybody were trying to imitate, was wearing a beautiful beard. The poems which he was written spoken about peace and love, and about travels which are not made on the road but in the mind.
Merci beaucoup!! (j'espère que mon texte n'écorche pas trop les yeux...)
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 06-03-2017 23:08
Pas de rouge/rose sur les forums, merci. Ni de vert, inutile ici.
Réponse : Which/whom de gerondif, postée le 06-03-2017 à 19:38:53 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Harry, who until this moment had always been a quiet student, decided to become a hippy, which annoyed his parents and puzzled his friends who had not been expecting (un prétérit simple aurait convenu aussi) such a thing. "What surprises me most", declaimed (confusion avec declare) Paul whom we had considered (une voix passive , Qui était considéré comme) as Harry's best friend, "is that he do not told(Oh là !! Le prétérit négatif en didnt + base verbale) me, to (tell est transitif, donc pas de to) me who know (il faut un present perfect avec depuis) him since (since + date, for + durée pour dire depuis) a long time."
The group in(ben oui mais on "become a member of") which Harry became member was living in (un prétérit simple suffirait) an old farm which they have (la concordance des temps voudrait "qu'ils avaient acheté) bought together. The life which/that they led was exempt of (of indique un de d'apartenance alors que free from vous libère de, vous arrache à) all material problems which make the existence (trop français, the en trop)bleak. They were sharing the little money that they had (ça peut se dire), and all(plutôt everything) they had. The spiritual leader, whom(dont est un génitif, appartenance donc whose + le nom qui s'y rapporte, la sagesse, qui ne se dit pas cleverness d'ailleurs) each recognised the cleverness and whom everybody were (singulier) trying to imitate, was wearing (un prétérit simple irait aussi) a beautiful beard. The poems which/that/*/ he was written spoken(un poème sur papier ne parle pas, il n'a pas de cordes vocales, mettez un verbe être) about peace and love, and about travels which are not made on the road but in the mind.
Réponse : Which/whom de rita29, postée le 06-03-2017 à 23:52:21 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup gérondif!
vos explications sont claires!
J'ai donc corrigé, est ce que maintenant c'est mieux?
Harry, who until this moment had always been a quiet student, decided to become a hippy, which annoyed his parents and puzzled his friends who had not been expecting (un prétérit simple aurait convenu aussi) such a thing. "What surprises me most", declared Paul whom we had considered (une voix passive , Qui était considéré comme) as Harry's best friend, "is that he didn't tell me,tell ( est ce que ça sert à quelque chose de répété?) me who have knew him for a long time."
The group in(ben oui mais on "become a member of") which Harry became member lived in an old farm which they had bought together. The life which/that they led was exempt from all material problems which make existence bleak. They were sharing the little money that they had, and everything they had. The spiritual leader, whose each recognised the wisdom and whom everybody was trying to imitate, wore a beautiful beard. The poems which/that/*/ he was written been (-- c'est comme ça?) about peace and love, and about travels which are not made on the road but in the mind.
Bonne nuit!
(enfin le message en entier..
Merci encore!)
Réponse : Which/whom de gerondif, postée le 06-03-2017 à 23:56:58 (S | E)
Bonsoir
Harry, who until this moment had always been a quiet student, decided to become a hippy, which annoyed his parents and puzzled his friends who had not been expecting (un prétérit simple aurait convenu aussi) such a thing. "What surprises me most", declared Paul whom we had considered (une voix passive , Qui était considéré comme) as Harry's best friend, "is that he didn't tell me,tell ( est ce que ça sert à quelque chose de répéter ? Non) me who have knew(plus que parfait) him for a long time."
The group in(ben oui mais on "become a member of") which Harry became member lived in an old farm which they had bought together. The life which/that they led was exempt from all material problems which make existence bleak. They were sharing the little money that they had, and everything they had. The spiritual leader, whose each recognised
Réponse : Which/whom de rita29, postée le 07-03-2017 à 22:10:06 (S | E)
Merci
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