Exposé/aborigènes
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Message de otot posté le 25-09-2016 à 12:22:02 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous.
Je m'appelle Pierre, je suis actuellement en 1reES. Je dois créer un petit article sur le discours de Kevin Rudd à propos des aborigènes. J'espère que vous pourrez m'aider dans la correction du texte car c'est vraiment un thème difficile. Un grand merci!!
Je vous souhaite un très bon dimanche
When she had 12 years old, Mary Hooker was removed from her family to be put in an settlement for aboriginal children. Beaten and raped, she spent here six years of her life, as other children of the " Stolen Generation " to whom Australia presented official excuses.
On Wednesday, Mary is in Canberra, in the middle of hundred other aborigines, to listen to the Australian Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, to begin the parliamentary session by excuses to the Australian's native community.
In a historic speech pronounced in front of the Parliament and broadcast live by national channels, Prime Minister Kevin Rudd apologised to the first people who live in the country. He had committed to it during the election campaign. " For the pain, suffering and hurt of these stolen generations, their descendants and for their families left behind, we say sorry. ", added the Prime Minister. " And for the indignity and degradation thus inflicted on a proud people and a proud culture, we say sorry », continued Kevin Rudd
« Never again »
This national repentance, which signs a real turning point, went much more far than the modify slightly speech which was expected. It should be note that the liberal ex-Prime Minister, John Howard, in power from 1996 till November, 2007, had always opposed to this initiative.
The speech of Kevin Rudd raised thunderous applause among the crowd in front of the parliament. " The injustices of the past must never, never happen again ", has still annouced Prime Minister. He underlined that his excuses were a part of the processsus of " the healing of the nation ".
« An historic ceremony »
On Tuesday, Aborigines had opened for the first time the inaugural session of the Australian parliament. One representative of the tribe of Ngaire, the traditionnal owner of the ground on which is built the building of the parliament, had led this ceremony of " welcome to the country " during which a "stick message", traditional present, had been put back to Kevin Rudd. This event establishes " a big symbol carrying the hope", declared the old lady, Mathilda House.
And now, what ?
He affirms that it is time to turn the page whereas he was not concerned by the Aboriginal issue. We need to keep an objective point of vue, and ask ourselves if Kevin Rudd’s speech can help to close the gap between the two cultures. Marginalised and disadvantaged, the Aborigines have a life expectancy lower of 17 years in that of a non-aboriginal Australian. Will we see a reduction of these disparities? Only the time will learn it us .
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Modifié par lucile83 le 25-09-2016 13:42
Message de otot posté le 25-09-2016 à 12:22:02 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous.
Je m'appelle Pierre, je suis actuellement en 1reES. Je dois créer un petit article sur le discours de Kevin Rudd à propos des aborigènes. J'espère que vous pourrez m'aider dans la correction du texte car c'est vraiment un thème difficile. Un grand merci!!
Je vous souhaite un très bon dimanche
When she had 12 years old, Mary Hooker was removed from her family to be put in an settlement for aboriginal children. Beaten and raped, she spent here six years of her life, as other children of the " Stolen Generation " to whom Australia presented official excuses.
On Wednesday, Mary is in Canberra, in the middle of hundred other aborigines, to listen to the Australian Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, to begin the parliamentary session by excuses to the Australian's native community.
In a historic speech pronounced in front of the Parliament and broadcast live by national channels, Prime Minister Kevin Rudd apologised to the first people who live in the country. He had committed to it during the election campaign. " For the pain, suffering and hurt of these stolen generations, their descendants and for their families left behind, we say sorry. ", added the Prime Minister. " And for the indignity and degradation thus inflicted on a proud people and a proud culture, we say sorry », continued Kevin Rudd
« Never again »
This national repentance, which signs a real turning point, went much more far than the modify slightly speech which was expected. It should be note that the liberal ex-Prime Minister, John Howard, in power from 1996 till November, 2007, had always opposed to this initiative.
The speech of Kevin Rudd raised thunderous applause among the crowd in front of the parliament. " The injustices of the past must never, never happen again ", has still annouced Prime Minister. He underlined that his excuses were a part of the processsus of " the healing of the nation ".
« An historic ceremony »
On Tuesday, Aborigines had opened for the first time the inaugural session of the Australian parliament. One representative of the tribe of Ngaire, the traditionnal owner of the ground on which is built the building of the parliament, had led this ceremony of " welcome to the country " during which a "stick message", traditional present, had been put back to Kevin Rudd. This event establishes " a big symbol carrying the hope", declared the old lady, Mathilda House.
And now, what ?
He affirms that it is time to turn the page whereas he was not concerned by the Aboriginal issue. We need to keep an objective point of vue, and ask ourselves if Kevin Rudd’s speech can help to close the gap between the two cultures. Marginalised and disadvantaged, the Aborigines have a life expectancy lower of 17 years in that of a non-aboriginal Australian. Will we see a reduction of these disparities? Only the time will learn it us .
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 25-09-2016 13:42
Réponse : Exposé/aborigènes de kaleeisplayz, postée le 25-09-2016 à 14:33:02 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Je n'ai pas ton niveau en anglais donc j'ai seulement essayé de trouver des erreurs simples, et dès le début de ton texte tu en fais une énorme ! "When she had 12 years old"...
J'espère que tu te corrigeras et que tu ne referas plus cette erreur ! Sinon, je n'ai pas vraiment décelé de grosses fautes, mise à part des erreurs d'oublis (manque d'un -s, fautes dans quelques mots que tu peux corriger toi seul).
Je ne t'ai pas beaucoup aidé mais j'espère que tu approfondiras plus tes recherches !
Bonne continuation.
Réponse : Exposé/aborigènes de otot, postée le 26-09-2016 à 19:09:34 (S | E)
Effectivement...
Je te remercie, j'étais passé à côté.
Réponse : Exposé/aborigènes de otot, postée le 28-09-2016 à 18:41:17 (S | E)
J'ai essayé comme j'ai pu de corriger mon texte. J'espère que vous allez pouvoir m'aider à continuer ce travail.
Un grand merci
( NB : c'est un peu urgent )2008 : A much awaited apology
When she was 12 years old, Mary Hooker was removed from her family to be put in an settlement for aboriginal children. Beaten and raped, she spent here six years of her life, as others children of the " Stolen Generation " to whom Australia presented official excuses.
On Wednesday, Mary was in Canberra, in the middle of hundred others aboriginees, to listen to the Australian Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, to begin the parliamentary session by excuses to the Australian's native community.
In a historic speech pronounced in front of the Parliament and broadcast live by national channels, Prime Minister Kevin Rudd apologised to the first people who live in the country. He had committed to it during the election campaign. " For the pain, suffering and hurt of these stolen generations, their descendants and for their families left behind, we say sorry. ", added the Prime Minister. '' And for the indignity and degradation thus inflicted on a proud people and a proud culture, we say sorry '', continued Kevin Rudd
'' Never again ''
This national repentance, which signed a real turning point, went much further than the modify slightly speech which was expected. It should be note that the liberal ex-Prime Minister, John Howard, in power from 1996 till November, 2007, had always opposed to this initiative.
The speech of Kevin Rudd raised thunderous applause among the crowd in front of the parliament. " The injustices of the past must never, never happen again ", has still annouced Prime Minister. He underlined that his excuses were a part of the processsus of " the healing of the nation ".
'' A historic ceremony ''
On Tuesday, Aboriginees had opened for the first time the inaugural session of the Australian parliament. One representative of the tribe of Ngaire, the traditionnal owner of the ground on which is built the building of the parliament, had led this ceremony of " welcome to the country " during which a "stick message", traditional present, had been put back to Kevin Rudd. This event established " a big symbol carrying the hope", declared the old lady, Mathilda House.
And now, what ?
He affirms that it is time to turn the page whereas he was not concerned by the Aboriginal issue. We need to keep an objective point of vew, and ask ourselves if Kevin Rudd’s speech can help to close the gap between the two cultures. Marginalised and disadvantaged, the Aborigines have a life expectancy of 17 years lower than a non-aboriginal Australian. Will we see a reduction of these disparities? Only the time will tell us .
Réponse : Exposé/aborigènes de gerondif, postée le 28-09-2016 à 19:14:11 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
erreurs en bleu, conseils en vert
2008 : A much awaited apology
When she was 12 years old, Mary Hooker was removed from her family to be put in an' s n'est pas un son voyelle) settlement for aboriginal children. Beaten and raped, she spent here six years of her life (mettez plutôt there ici), as( comme au sens de en tant que ou au sens de comparaison, , as ou like ?) others(adjectif invariable) children of the " Stolen Generation " to whom Australia presented official excuses.
On Wednesday, Mary was in Canberra, in the middle of(parmi, c'est amid) hundred(a hundred, c'est 100 pile, un adjectif numéral invariables, hundreds of, c'est un nom, des centaines de) others aboriginees, to listen to the Australian Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd,
In a historic speech pronounced in front of the Parliament and broadcast live by national channels, Prime Minister Kevin Rudd apologised to the first people who live (mettez un prétérit) in the country. He had committed to it during the election campaign. " For the pain, suffering and hurt of these stolen generations, their descendants and for their families left behind, we say sorry. ", added(ne pas inverser, mettez added au bout de la phrase) the Prime Minister. '' And for the indignity and degradation thus inflicted on a proud people and a proud culture, we say sorry '', continued(idem) Kevin Rudd
'' Never again ''
This national repentance, which signed a real turning point, went much further than the modify(mettez un participe passé derrière slightly) slightly speech which was expected. It should be note(participe passé) that the liberal ex-Prime Minister, John Howard, in power from 1996 till November, 2007, had always opposed (verbe transitif)
The speech of Kevin Rudd (un cas possessif irait bien)raised thunderous applause among the crowd in front of the parliament. " The injustices of the past must never, never happen again ", has still(mettez un prétérit et still ne va pas pour dire encore, c'est encore au sens de en plus, pas encore au sens de toujours en ce moment) annouced the Prime Minister. He underlined that his excuses were a part of the processsus of " the healing of the nation ".
'' A historic ceremony ''
On Tuesday, Aboriginees had opened for the first time the inaugural session of the Australian parliament. One representative of the tribe of Ngaire, the traditionnal owner of the ground on which is built(à mettre au bout de la phrase, ne pas inverser) the building of the parliament, (had) (un prétérit descriptif se comprend bien) led this ceremony of " welcome to the country " during which a "stick message", a traditional present, had been put back (mauvais choix de verbe pour remettre, to put back, c'est remettre à demain) to Kevin Rudd. This event established " a big symbol carrying
And now, what ?
He affirms that it is time to turn the page whereas (mauvais choix de "bien que" whereas signifie mais au contraire alors que although signifie bien que) he was not concerned by the Aboriginal issue. We need to keep an objective point of view, and ask ourselves if Kevin Rudd’s speech can help to close the gap between the two cultures. Marginalised and disadvantaged, the Aborigines have a life expectancy
pour whereas et although, comparez:
I like westerns whereas my wife prefers dramas. (alors que au sens de mais au contraire)
He came although he was sick; il est venu alors qu'il était malade, bien que, même si...)
Réponse : Exposé/aborigènes de otot, postée le 29-09-2016 à 18:52:18 (S | E)
Bonsoir, je vous remercie de votre aide ; '' modify (mettez un participe passé derrière slightly) slightly ''.
Encore un grand merci.
Bonne soirée
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