Bac/Locations and forms of power
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Message de stuff posté le 16-05-2016 à 10:43:19 (S | E | F)
Hey Hello !
J'ai terminé une de mes notions pour le Bac en anglais. Pourriez-vous m'aider à trouver les éventuelles fautes ou répétitions, etc car je me suis plusieurs fois relue mais j'aimerais avoir un avis extérieur.
Merci pour vos réponses. !
The notion I'm going to deal with is locations and forms of power.
Power can be understood as the ability or official capacity to exercise control or authority. It can be a person, a group or a nation having great influence over others. We can find power in many places and under a lot of forms. But I feel this notion is best illustrated by trying to see if all citizens are on an equal footing in modern-day india.
Let's begin with the Caste system. In class, we studied an interview of Savithri Amman. She explains how this system classifies indians in several categories. In this way, the Dalits are called the Untouchables. They represent 20 % of the population. The Dalits have the lowest jobs like scavengers. So they earn a low income and they have to obey to the Brahmans who are the dominants.
Similarly, we can mention an article from BBC News published in 2007. It deals with Rishi Rajani. This man is a Tycoon who lives in Mumbai. His only goal is to make big money so he could be powerful. However, Mumbai seems to be a land of contrast. Indeed, there is one of the largest slum in Asia right next to the modern skycrapers and shopping center. It's called Dharavi. 1 million people are packed in there having really bad living conditions. They have have to struggle to survive.
Both documents show that it exists important inequalities among citizens. There is a real gap between the rich and the poor.
Let's move on an other point, namely the inequalities among men and women.
The dowry is a major issue in India. In the Painter of Signs, we can meet a 13 year-old girl. Her parents organized an inspection by her prospective bridegroom against her wishes. They paied his family a lot just like the tradition wants. This is not an isolated case, espacially in remote villages. Having a bridegroom is a hard-won prize.
In the same way, the book called Secret Daughter shows that girls are a burden for their family. Indeed, a girl was born. Her mother wants to keep her but her fathe tells they have to get rid of the baby girl because they are too poor to pay the dowry.
Those documents make us aware of this type of inequalities.
The last two documents show the evolution of India. On the picture we can see two girls on a scooter which is very modern just like in western countries. If the two girls lived in the countryside, they would probably be mothers.
In an article of Hindustan Times, the journalist tells us the story of Rekha Kalindi. She lives far from the city. In 2009, she was 12 and she refused to get married to go to school. She is an exception. Indeed, 40 % of the world's child marriages take place in India ; Moreover, according to the UNICEF teenage pregnancy is nine time higher for the women who don't receive education.
There are inequalities amon people who live in cities and remote villages. Many factories came up with the globalisation in cities, but the coutryside is still really poor.
To conclude, I could say that there were forward movements in India like the abolition of the caste system in 1950 but many traditions are too deeply rooted. So, it still is inequalities in modern-day India.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-05-2016 11:08
Message de stuff posté le 16-05-2016 à 10:43:19 (S | E | F)
J'ai terminé une de mes notions pour le Bac en anglais. Pourriez-vous m'aider à trouver les éventuelles fautes ou répétitions, etc car je me suis plusieurs fois relue mais j'aimerais avoir un avis extérieur.
Merci pour vos réponses. !
The notion I'm going to deal with is locations and forms of power.
Power can be understood as the ability or official capacity to exercise control or authority. It can be a person, a group or a nation having great influence over others. We can find power in many places and under a lot of forms. But I feel this notion is best illustrated by trying to see if all citizens are on an equal footing in modern-day india.
Let's begin with the Caste system. In class, we studied an interview of Savithri Amman. She explains how this system classifies indians in several categories. In this way, the Dalits are called the Untouchables. They represent 20 % of the population. The Dalits have the lowest jobs like scavengers. So they earn a low income and they have to obey to the Brahmans who are the dominants.
Similarly, we can mention an article from BBC News published in 2007. It deals with Rishi Rajani. This man is a Tycoon who lives in Mumbai. His only goal is to make big money so he could be powerful. However, Mumbai seems to be a land of contrast. Indeed, there is one of the largest slum in Asia right next to the modern skycrapers and shopping center. It's called Dharavi. 1 million people are packed in there having really bad living conditions. They have have to struggle to survive.
Both documents show that it exists important inequalities among citizens. There is a real gap between the rich and the poor.
Let's move on an other point, namely the inequalities among men and women.
The dowry is a major issue in India. In the Painter of Signs, we can meet a 13 year-old girl. Her parents organized an inspection by her prospective bridegroom against her wishes. They paied his family a lot just like the tradition wants. This is not an isolated case, espacially in remote villages. Having a bridegroom is a hard-won prize.
In the same way, the book called Secret Daughter shows that girls are a burden for their family. Indeed, a girl was born. Her mother wants to keep her but her fathe tells they have to get rid of the baby girl because they are too poor to pay the dowry.
Those documents make us aware of this type of inequalities.
The last two documents show the evolution of India. On the picture we can see two girls on a scooter which is very modern just like in western countries. If the two girls lived in the countryside, they would probably be mothers.
In an article of Hindustan Times, the journalist tells us the story of Rekha Kalindi. She lives far from the city. In 2009, she was 12 and she refused to get married to go to school. She is an exception. Indeed, 40 % of the world's child marriages take place in India ; Moreover, according to the UNICEF teenage pregnancy is nine time higher for the women who don't receive education.
There are inequalities amon people who live in cities and remote villages. Many factories came up with the globalisation in cities, but the coutryside is still really poor.
To conclude, I could say that there were forward movements in India like the abolition of the caste system in 1950 but many traditions are too deeply rooted. So, it still is inequalities in modern-day India.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 16-05-2016 11:08
Réponse: Bac/Locations and forms of power de laure95, postée le 17-05-2016 à 15:42:10 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- intro: où est la problématique? L'annonce de plan?
-indians:majuscule.
- they have to obey to (pas de TO)the Brahmans who are the dominants.
- to make big money: mal dit.
- shopping center: pluriel.
- They have have to
- Let's move on an other point, namely the inequalities among men and women.
- They paied: verbe irrégulier.
-girls are a burden for their family (pluriel).
- In an article of (pas la bonne préposition)Hindustan Times,
- So, it still is inequalities: ?
Conclusion un peu courte.
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