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Bac/Idea of progress

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Bac/Idea of progress
Message de mbamba posté le 06-05-2016 à 00:35:29 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir!
Actuellement en Terminale , je viens de finir la synthèse de la notion "Progress" et j'aimerais avoir une petite correction
Si vous avez des conseils ou remarques sur la forme ou le contenu ne vous gênez pas, merci d'avance pour vos réponses !

Idea and progress
I am going to talk about the idea of Progress. Progress is a positive evolution for our society. There is industrial, scientific, economic, politic and social progress. This year, we studied the industrial, social progress with six documents which are: the Queen Victoria, Brunel, and Charles Darwin and too on two engravings.

What effect does this progress have on our society?
First of all we are going to speak the industrial progress in England to 19th century.
The beginning of industrialization marks a major progress in our society with the creation on new energies such as factories, coal, water wheel and steam.
Industrial revolution in England is marked by the Queen Victoria because she helped Brunel and Charles Darwin to develop their work.
Brunel developed his network to improve transportation. He was famous for innovations regarding the expansion of the Great Western Railway; he built tunnel, bridges and viaducts. But he also contributed to the rise of the empire with his invention of the first steamship. This was a great innovation in this period.
As for Charles Darwin, he was a scientist, studied animals and plants. Before, Darwin and peoples believed that God created everything. However, during his expedition on the Beagle, Darwin went to the Galapagos and studied the evolutions of tortoise.
Thanks to the executive power and military power, scientific exploration was possible. He that all the species had a common ancestor.
Now, we are going to talk about the progress in the society, in the word.
Thanks to the first one engraving, we have seen a different structure than in the great chain of being. At the top, the crown stood for the royalty. Underneath, we could spot the Queen, along with lords and commons who represented the executive and legislative powers. At the bottom, the financial power is symbolised by the bank. Eventually, the army stood for the military power
in the second engraving, which dates back to 1579, that was Renaissance period; we had a hierarchical representation of the word. This model was set vertically, from top to bottom by archangels and angels under them, we could see different stages. Firs the man, then animals, which are divided into three different levels, with winged animals them fish and eventually four legged. Next, there is wild. To finish, we had hell. The chain in the middle stood for the link between all there levels. God created them. However, there was no evolution and no everything or improvement possible, because there is a place for everything and everything in it is place.
To conclude, the progress that it is industrial or social has an impact mattering on our world, our company. He is synonymic of evolution, of moved forward but he is had a practice in moderation because he will eventually divided us.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 06-05-2016 09:04


Réponse: Bac/Idea of progress de laure95, postée le 10-05-2016 à 11:35:38 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- First of all we are going to speak (préposition)the industrial progress in England to (pas la bonne préposition)19th century.
- The beginning of industrialization marks (présent perfect) a major progress in our society
- (article)Industrial revolution in England is (passé)marked by the (pas de THE)Queen Victoria
- he built tunnel (pluriel?), bridges and viaducts.
- in this period: at that period.

- Before, Darwin and peoples (PEOPLE est déjà un mot pluriel)believed
- studied the évolutions (singulier) of tortoise (pluriel).
- He (verbe)that all the species had a common ancestor.

- in the word: WORD = mot.
- At the top, the crown stood (présent progressif)for the royalty.
- Underneath, we could spot the Queen, along with lords and commons who represented (présent) the executive and legislative powers.
- Eventually, the army stood (idem)for the military power

- that was (article)Renaissance period; we had (présent)a hierarchical representation of the word.
- with winged animals them fish: ?
- and eventually four legged: ?
- and everything in it is place: ?

- To conclude, the progress that it (enlever IT)is industrial or social has an impact mattering on our world, our company. He(pas le bon sujet) is synonymic of evolution, of moved forward but he (idem)is had (temps?)a practice in moderation
- because he will eventually divided us :? + INFINITIF APRES WILL.
Conclusion un peu courte.





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