Correction/ oral
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Message de yurae posté le 24-01-2016 à 12:29:00 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,j'espère que vous allez bien.
Je cherche quelqu'un qui pourrait me corriger mon oral d'anglais ci-dessous s'il vous plait. Merci beaucoup !
I’m going to talk about « Idea of progress ».
The Idea of Progress is the theory that the different advances in technology, science, and social organization can produce an improvement in the human condition. However, the idea of progress is still debate between those who consider that it’s beneficial and those who think it’s harmful.
So we may wonder if we should fear progress. In particularly in the realm of the medicine and the technologies.
First, I’m going to talk about the technological progress, and in a second part I will talk about medical breakthroughs.
Today, there is as more cellphone contract than people in the world, that’s denounce the monstrous proliferation of new technologies at global scale. Indeed, for example, the teenagers become obsessed by social networks, videos games or texting messages. We saw in class two drawing that denounce the dangers of an addiction to new technologies. On the one hand, you can forget your real life, being strangled in a virtual life and become isolated. On the other hand, we saw that the cartoonist warms us that an excessive use of new technologies can lead people to an separation with the others. On the photo, we can see a child who prefers waste his time on his devices instead of communicate with his parents during the dinner. In spite of all these dangers of new technologies, we must admit that phone or computer have a lot of advantages and make our daily life easier as to keep in touch with people who live far away with Skype or access to information about anything in 5 seconds.
Beside, in a article written by Clara Young which the title is “The internet has made sharing so easy that people may stop buying things”, it appeared a new concept a little bit surprising. Indeed today, with internet you can even share or rent cars, objects of daily life that you need, or to find someone’s apartment where you can stay in any city you are planning to travel to thanks to some applications like Couchsurfing, Zipcar, Neighborgoods. Sharing is no only eco-friendly in that reduce the waste, but it’s also beneficial in the plan social, because it develop trust, generosity and brotherhood between people.
Then, in this second part, I’m going to talk about the notion of progress in the realm medical. Indeed, we have done huge advances in science, and its allow to cure lots of illnesses such as Franconi’s Anemia. We studied in class through an article from USA today published in 2010, the case of Molly, a first girl who have been saved from this rare disease by her little brother, Adam, a medicine baby who was conceived in a test tube. The technique used to make Adam is called PGD (Pré-Implantation genetic diagnosis), it’s a way to select embryos and check his genetic make up before implanting it in the mother’s uterus. We learned in class through an article from CSH Globe online, that today PGD also allows people to have a baby with whatever traits they wish, so to design their future baby as easily as to order a fast-food. Even if PGD was at first, created to predict genetic diseases, today this technique could be misused and lead to the creation of a second class citizens who seems perfects, is that we call also eugenic. This a science which tries to improve the human race with genetic selection or manipulation as PDG. So, I thinks progress of medicine can be in the same time extraordinary and frightening because it allow to save many lives and cure a lot of illnesses but can also dehumanize people and cause a lack of the diversity.
To conclude, Progress implies change and evolution, and throughout history most of the advances have been positive. However the rhythm of progress seems to have accelerated over the last few decades, and today fiction become reality. It seems cool, but progress can be very harmful if we don’t impose some limit to it. For my opinion, I’m a little bit afraid by this increase of progress because I think humans is so smart and can invent anything (like the time machine) which can cause colossal impacts on the humanity but I also admire these geniuses who saved thousand lives.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 24-01-2016 14:37
Pas de rouge sur le forum, merci.
Message de yurae posté le 24-01-2016 à 12:29:00 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,j'espère que vous allez bien.
Je cherche quelqu'un qui pourrait me corriger mon oral d'anglais ci-dessous s'il vous plait. Merci beaucoup !
I’m going to talk about « Idea of progress ».
The Idea of Progress is the theory that the different advances in technology, science, and social organization can produce an improvement in the human condition. However, the idea of progress is still debate between those who consider that it’s beneficial and those who think it’s harmful.
So we may wonder if we should fear progress. In particularly in the realm of the medicine and the technologies.
First, I’m going to talk about the technological progress, and in a second part I will talk about medical breakthroughs.
Today, there is as more cellphone contract than people in the world, that’s denounce the monstrous proliferation of new technologies at global scale. Indeed, for example, the teenagers become obsessed by social networks, videos games or texting messages. We saw in class two drawing that denounce the dangers of an addiction to new technologies. On the one hand, you can forget your real life, being strangled in a virtual life and become isolated. On the other hand, we saw that the cartoonist warms us that an excessive use of new technologies can lead people to an separation with the others. On the photo, we can see a child who prefers waste his time on his devices instead of communicate with his parents during the dinner. In spite of all these dangers of new technologies, we must admit that phone or computer have a lot of advantages and make our daily life easier as to keep in touch with people who live far away with Skype or access to information about anything in 5 seconds.
Beside, in a article written by Clara Young which the title is “The internet has made sharing so easy that people may stop buying things”, it appeared a new concept a little bit surprising. Indeed today, with internet you can even share or rent cars, objects of daily life that you need, or to find someone’s apartment where you can stay in any city you are planning to travel to thanks to some applications like Couchsurfing, Zipcar, Neighborgoods. Sharing is no only eco-friendly in that reduce the waste, but it’s also beneficial in the plan social, because it develop trust, generosity and brotherhood between people.
Then, in this second part, I’m going to talk about the notion of progress in the realm medical. Indeed, we have done huge advances in science, and its allow to cure lots of illnesses such as Franconi’s Anemia. We studied in class through an article from USA today published in 2010, the case of Molly, a first girl who have been saved from this rare disease by her little brother, Adam, a medicine baby who was conceived in a test tube. The technique used to make Adam is called PGD (Pré-Implantation genetic diagnosis), it’s a way to select embryos and check his genetic make up before implanting it in the mother’s uterus. We learned in class through an article from CSH Globe online, that today PGD also allows people to have a baby with whatever traits they wish, so to design their future baby as easily as to order a fast-food. Even if PGD was at first, created to predict genetic diseases, today this technique could be misused and lead to the creation of a second class citizens who seems perfects, is that we call also eugenic. This a science which tries to improve the human race with genetic selection or manipulation as PDG. So, I thinks progress of medicine can be in the same time extraordinary and frightening because it allow to save many lives and cure a lot of illnesses but can also dehumanize people and cause a lack of the diversity.
To conclude, Progress implies change and evolution, and throughout history most of the advances have been positive. However the rhythm of progress seems to have accelerated over the last few decades, and today fiction become reality. It seems cool, but progress can be very harmful if we don’t impose some limit to it. For my opinion, I’m a little bit afraid by this increase of progress because I think humans is so smart and can invent anything (like the time machine) which can cause colossal impacts on the humanity but I also admire these geniuses who saved thousand lives.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 24-01-2016 14:37
Pas de rouge sur le forum, merci.
Réponse: Correction/ oral de laure95, postée le 24-01-2016 à 14:08:07 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- in the (article pas nécessaire)human condition.
- the idea of progress is still debate: mettre au participe passé.
- Today, there is as (pourquoi AS?)more cellphone contract than people in the world,
- that’s denounce: mal construit.
- two drawing: pluriel.
- the cartoonist warms: pas le bon verbe ou faute de frappe?
- an separation: AN + MOT COMMENCANT PAR UNE VOYELLE.
- a child who prefers waste (mettre au gérondif).
- instead of communicate: même remarque.
- phone or computer (à mettre au pluriel) have a lot of advantages
- Beside (mettre un "s)
- to thanks: TO + BASE VERBALE.
- Sharing is no only: tu confonds "no" et "not".
- in that reduce the waste: mal construit.
- in the plan social: ordre des mots.
- it develop: conjugaison.
- in the realm medical: ordre des mots.
- its allow: problème avec le sujet + conjugaison.
- a first
girl who have (conjugaison) been saved - So, I thinks: conjugaison.
- it allow: conjugaison.
- fiction become reality: mettre au présent perfect.
-some limit: mettre au pluriel.
- For my opinion: pas la bonne préposition.
- humans is: conjugaison.
Réponse: Correction/ oral de yurae, postée le 24-01-2016 à 14:41:59 (S | E)
Bonjour, merci de votre attention et voici ma correction.
I’m going to talk about « Idea of progress ».
The Idea of Progress is the theory that the different advances in technology, science, and social organization can produce an improvement in human condition. However, the idea of progress is still debate between those who consider that it’s beneficial and those who think it’s harmful. So we may wonder if we should fear progress. In particularly in the realm of the medicine and the technologies.
First, I’m going to talk about the technological progress, and in a second part I will talk about medical breakthroughs.
Today, there is more cellphone contract than people in the world, that’s (comment peut-on dire "cela dénonce"?) denounce the monstrous proliferation of new technologies at global scale. Indeed, for example, the teenagers become obsessed by social networks, videos games or texting messages. We saw in class two drawings that denounce the dangers of an addiction to new technologies. On the one hand, you can forget your real life, being strangled in a virtual life and become isolated. On the other hand, we saw that the cartoonist warns us that an excessive use of new technologies can lead people to a separation with the others. On the photo, we can see a child who prefers wasting his time on his devices instead of communicating with his parents during the dinner. In spite of all these dangers of new technologies, we must admit that phones or computers have a lot of advantages and make our daily life easier as to keep in touch with people who live far away with Skype or to access to informations about anything in 5 seconds.
Besides, in an article written by Clara Young which the title is “The internet has made sharing so easy that people may stop buying things”, it appeared a new concept a little bit surprising. Indeed today, with internet you can even share or rent cars, objects of daily life that you need, or to find someone’s apartment where you can stay in any city you are planning to travel, thanks to some applications like Couchsurfing, Zipcar, Neighborgoods. Sharing is not only (je veux dire "non seulement") eco-friendly because it can reduce the waste, but it’s also beneficial in the social plan, because it develops trust, generosity and brotherhood between people.
Then, in this second part, I’m going to talk about the notion of progress in the medical realm. Indeed, we have done huge advances in science, and they allow to cure lots of illnesses such as Franconi’s Anemia. We studied in class through an article from USA today, published in 2010, the case of Molly, the first girl who has been saved from this rare disease by her little brother, Adam, a medicine baby who was conceived in a test tube. The technique used to make Adam is called PGD (Pré-Implantation genetic diagnosis), it’s a way to select embryos and check his genetic make up before implanting it in the mother’s uterus. We learned in class through an article from CSH Globe online, that today PGD also allows people to have a baby with whatever traits they wish, so to design their future baby as easily as to order a fast-food. Even if PGD was at first, created to predict genetic diseases, today this technique could be misused and lead to the creation of a second class citizens who seems perfects, is that we call also eugenic. This a science which tries to improve the human race with genetic selection or manipulation as PDG. So, I think medicine progress can be in the same time extraordinary and frightening because it allows to save many lives and cure a lot of illnesses but can also dehumanize people and cause a lack of the diversity.
To conclude, Progress implies change and evolution, and throughout history most of the advances have been positive. However the rhythm of progress seems to have accelerated over the last few decades, and today fiction has become reality. It seems cool, but progress can be very harmful if we don’t impose some limits to it. To my opinion, I’m a little bit afraid by this increase of progress because I think humans are so smart and can invent anything (like the time machine) which can cause colossal impacts on the humanity but I also admire these geniuses who saved thousand lives.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 24-01-2016 22:15
Pas de rouge sur le forum, merci.
Réponse: Correction/ oral de laure95, postée le 24-01-2016 à 18:13:34 (S | E)
- the idea of progress is still debate: mettre "debate" au participe passé.
- In (à enlever)particularly in the realm of the medicine and the technologies.
- that’s (comment peut-on dire "cela dénonce"?) denounce: ton verbe "denounce" est correct, mais tu dois le conjuguer à la 3è personne du singulier et enlever "'s" à THAT.
- the (article à enlever)teenagers become obsessed by social networks, videos games or texting messages.
- On the photo, we can see a child who prefers wasting his time on his devices (précise)
- to access: ce n'est pas un verbe.
- in an article written by Clara Young which the (enlever l'article) title
- not only (je veux dire "non seulement"): ok.
- perfects: les adjectifs sont invariables.
-is that (pas le bon mot) we call also eugenic.
- a lack of the (enlever l'article)diversity.
- To conclude, Progress implies change and evolution: mettre ces 2 mots au pluriel.
- To (pas la bonne préposition)my opinion.
- impacts on the (enlever l'article)humanity but I also admire these geniuses who saved (pourquoi au passé?) thousand lives.
Réponse: Correction/ oral de yurae, postée le 25-01-2016 à 18:15:39 (S | E)
Bonjour, encore merci et voici ma nouvelle correction.
I’m going to talk about « Idea of progress ».
The Idea of Progress is the theory that the different advances in technology, science, and social organization can produce an improvement in human condition. However, the idea of progress is still debated between those who consider that it’s beneficial and those who think it’s harmful. So we may wonder if we should fear progress, particularly in the realm of the medicine and the technologies.
First, I’m going to talk about the technological progress, and in a second part I will talk about medical breakthroughs.
Today, there is more cellphone contract than people in the world, that denounces the monstrous proliferation of new technologies at global scale. Indeed, for example, teenagers become obsessed by social networks, videos games or texting messages. We saw in class two drawings that denounce the dangers of an addiction to new technologies. On the one hand, you can forget your real life, being strangled in a virtual life and become isolated. On the other hand, we saw that the cartoonist warns us that an excessive use of new technologies can lead people to a separation with the others. On the photo, we can see a child who prefers wasting his time on his phone instead of communicating with his parents during the dinner. In spite of all these dangers of new technologies, we must admit that phones or computers have a lot of advantages and make our daily life easier as to keep in touch with people who live far away with Skype or to have access to informations about anything in 5 seconds.
Besides, in an article written by Clara Young which title is “The internet has made sharing so easy that people may stop buying things”, it appeared a new concept a little bit surprising. Indeed today, with internet you can even share or rent cars, objects of daily life that you need, or to find someone’s apartment where you can stay in any city you are planning to travel, thanks to some applications like Couchsurfing, Zipcar, Neighborgoods. Sharing is not only eco-friendly because it can reduce the waste, but it’s also beneficial in the social plan, because it develops trust, generosity and brotherhood between people.
Then, in this second part, I’m going to talk about the notion of progress in the medical realm. Indeed, we have done huge advances in science, and they allow to cure lots of illnesses such as Franconi’s Anemia. We studied in class through an article from USA today, published in 2010, the case of Molly, the first girl who has been saved from this rare disease by her little brother, Adam, a medicine baby who was conceived in a test tube. The technique used to make Adam is called PGD (Pré-Implantation genetic diagnosis), it’s a way to select embryos and check his genetic make up before implanting it in the mother’s uterus. We learned in class through an article from CSH Globe online, that today PGD also allows people to have a baby with whatever traits they wish, so to design their future baby as easily as to order a fast-food. Even if PGD was at first, created to predict genetic diseases, today this technique could be misused and lead to the creation of a second class citizens who seems perfect, is what we call also eugenic. This a science which tries to improve the human race with genetic selection or manipulation as PDG. So, I think medicine progress can be in the same time extraordinary and frightening because it allows to save many lives and cure a lot of illnesses but can also dehumanize people and cause a lack of diversity.
To conclude, Progress implies changes and evolutions and throughout history most of the advances have been positive. However the rhythm of progress seems to have accelerated over the last few decades, and today fiction has become reality. It seems cool, but progress can be very harmful if we don’t impose some limits to it. In my opinion, I’m a little bit afraid by this increase of progress because I think humans are so smart and can invent anything (like the time machine) which can cause colossal impacts on humanity but I also admire these geniuses who save thousand lives.
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