Correction/anglais renforcé
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Message de marange77 posté le 11-01-2016 à 22:05:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je suis en Terminale littéraire et je passe mon oral blanc d'anglais renforcé dans quelques semaines. Vous trouverez ci-dessous mon exposé concernant la notion Myths and heroes, j'aurais besoin d'une correction alors si quelqu'un passe par ici et a le courage de tout lire et corriger, je vous remercie d'avance. Les critiques et/ou conseils sont également les bienvenus!
Myths and Heroes
I’m going to deal with the notion Myths and Heroes which I think is really interesting since our society today is kind of ruled by role models or ideals that we have. To start with, I’d like to give a definition of the notion: a myth is a popular belief that often spreads social values, while a hero is someone who’s admired for his or her actions. In relation to the notion, I’m going to deal with the idea of a mythical era, and to cover this topic I chose to talk about the 1960s. So are the 60s a mythical decade?
First of all, many people consider the 60s as mythical. And I think it is legitimate because a lot of good things happened at this time. The decade was also called the Swinging Sixties and lots of people see that era as vibrant, exciting and fresh with all kind of new ideas concerning lifestyle, culture, sexual freedom, politics, films, TV and popular music. I think the drawing on the cover of the Time Magazine that we saw in class really illustrates the idea of a new era. We can see a discotheque, the singer of the famous rock band The Who, there’s a woman on the corner that seems to be on drugs and people are wearing typical clothes from the 60s. The magazine was published in 1966 and it shows London as the Swinging City. And I think it is an accurate representation of what London was at this time: the city was incarnating the renewal of society and it was the place where the spirit of the 60s was born actually.
Furthermore the decade was a time of revolution because a lot of things changed drastically. We studied a text in class excerpt from a website and which was called The Times are changing. It was dealing with the idea of the different revolutions that took place especially the UK in the late 1960s, such as the sexual revolution fueled by the uptake of the pill, the counter-culture revolution which was protesting against society’s power structure because it was seen as corrupt, repressive and exploitative. And the text was explaining that for the first time there were more young people than old and that they swept away the conservatism because they were representing a powerful economic and cultural force. And UK found itself in the first true decade of consumerism. The 60s were also the time when Pop Art, fashion, and Rock’ n’ Roll (with pirate radios) developed, which was incarnating an artistic and cultural revolution.
So the 60s can be seen as a mythical decade considering that it was a time of renewal and revolution in many domains. But everything wasn’t good during this decade.
Indeed, people who lived through the 1960s and many younger people today think well of the fashions, the tolerance, social reform, new liberal ideas and England winning the World Cup. But for many others, that decade started the rot in society evident today. We watched a BBC documentary in class that was called Why I hate the Sixties, and it demonstrated that the whole decade is full of myths and misconceptions. For instance, what we call the teenage counter-culture revolution, the promise that a new world had been born was one of the greatest myths. The revolution was extolling anti-establishmentarianism and was epitomized by pirate radios, but these pirates were in fact very motivated by money. Another myth from the sixties is tolerance, because in fact, that was the time when racism really started to spread in UK, and the 60s weren’t great if you looked different, if you were Black or Asian. This was a period when a series of riots against immigration took place. To illustrate this, I found a photograph of an anti-immigration demonstration that took place in 1968 after Enoch Powell pronounced his speech about the consequences of immigration. Concerning education, reformers of the 1960s claimed that they would make the system fairer and more equal especially for working class children, but it is exactly the contrary that happened because lots of schools have been closed under the pretext that the system needed to be reformed. The decade was supposed to be the final liberation for women thanks to the creation of the pill, but instead of making them freer, it has made them more available and that’s how the sexual culture that we know today was born. The drug culture also developed during the 1960s and has caused many problems since then. And finally, the new kind of architecture that was supposed to represent modernity was in fact terrible because many Victorian houses were destroyed and replaced by insalubrious buildings and many people found themselves homeless.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 11-01-2016 22:20
Message de marange77 posté le 11-01-2016 à 22:05:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je suis en Terminale littéraire et je passe mon oral blanc d'anglais renforcé dans quelques semaines. Vous trouverez ci-dessous mon exposé concernant la notion Myths and heroes, j'aurais besoin d'une correction alors si quelqu'un passe par ici et a le courage de tout lire et corriger, je vous remercie d'avance. Les critiques et/ou conseils sont également les bienvenus!
Myths and Heroes
I’m going to deal with the notion Myths and Heroes which I think is really interesting since our society today is kind of ruled by role models or ideals that we have. To start with, I’d like to give a definition of the notion: a myth is a popular belief that often spreads social values, while a hero is someone who’s admired for his or her actions. In relation to the notion, I’m going to deal with the idea of a mythical era, and to cover this topic I chose to talk about the 1960s. So are the 60s a mythical decade?
First of all, many people consider the 60s as mythical. And I think it is legitimate because a lot of good things happened at this time. The decade was also called the Swinging Sixties and lots of people see that era as vibrant, exciting and fresh with all kind of new ideas concerning lifestyle, culture, sexual freedom, politics, films, TV and popular music. I think the drawing on the cover of the Time Magazine that we saw in class really illustrates the idea of a new era. We can see a discotheque, the singer of the famous rock band The Who, there’s a woman on the corner that seems to be on drugs and people are wearing typical clothes from the 60s. The magazine was published in 1966 and it shows London as the Swinging City. And I think it is an accurate representation of what London was at this time: the city was incarnating the renewal of society and it was the place where the spirit of the 60s was born actually.
Furthermore the decade was a time of revolution because a lot of things changed drastically. We studied a text in class excerpt from a website and which was called The Times are changing. It was dealing with the idea of the different revolutions that took place especially the UK in the late 1960s, such as the sexual revolution fueled by the uptake of the pill, the counter-culture revolution which was protesting against society’s power structure because it was seen as corrupt, repressive and exploitative. And the text was explaining that for the first time there were more young people than old and that they swept away the conservatism because they were representing a powerful economic and cultural force. And UK found itself in the first true decade of consumerism. The 60s were also the time when Pop Art, fashion, and Rock’ n’ Roll (with pirate radios) developed, which was incarnating an artistic and cultural revolution.
So the 60s can be seen as a mythical decade considering that it was a time of renewal and revolution in many domains. But everything wasn’t good during this decade.
Indeed, people who lived through the 1960s and many younger people today think well of the fashions, the tolerance, social reform, new liberal ideas and England winning the World Cup. But for many others, that decade started the rot in society evident today. We watched a BBC documentary in class that was called Why I hate the Sixties, and it demonstrated that the whole decade is full of myths and misconceptions. For instance, what we call the teenage counter-culture revolution, the promise that a new world had been born was one of the greatest myths. The revolution was extolling anti-establishmentarianism and was epitomized by pirate radios, but these pirates were in fact very motivated by money. Another myth from the sixties is tolerance, because in fact, that was the time when racism really started to spread in UK, and the 60s weren’t great if you looked different, if you were Black or Asian. This was a period when a series of riots against immigration took place. To illustrate this, I found a photograph of an anti-immigration demonstration that took place in 1968 after Enoch Powell pronounced his speech about the consequences of immigration. Concerning education, reformers of the 1960s claimed that they would make the system fairer and more equal especially for working class children, but it is exactly the contrary that happened because lots of schools have been closed under the pretext that the system needed to be reformed. The decade was supposed to be the final liberation for women thanks to the creation of the pill, but instead of making them freer, it has made them more available and that’s how the sexual culture that we know today was born. The drug culture also developed during the 1960s and has caused many problems since then. And finally, the new kind of architecture that was supposed to represent modernity was in fact terrible because many Victorian houses were destroyed and replaced by insalubrious buildings and many people found themselves homeless.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 11-01-2016 22:20
Réponse: Correction/anglais renforcé de marange77, postée le 11-01-2016 à 22:07:16 (S | E)
(La suite ici)
So actually, the sixties were all about illusion, illusion of enlightenment, of progress, of youth. People were dodging the problems which became worst and the pretended “modernity” of the decade can now be seen as a complete disaster.
In conclusion even if there obviously has been many revolutions and some good things that happened during that era, I don’t think it can be seen as totally mythical in the good way I mean, because there are too much bad aspects about the sixties.
Merci d'avance si vous avez lu jusqu'ici
Réponse: Correction/anglais renforcé de gerondif, postée le 11-01-2016 à 22:19:00 (S | E)
Bonjour,
texte intéressant à lire, assez peu d'erreurs.
(pour le faire tenir, écrivez juste bonjour, envoyez, puis réouvrez le sujet en cliquant sue le E de edit et alors là, le texte en copié-collé passera en entier.)
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
Myths and Heroes
I’m going to deal with the notion Myths and Heroes which I think is really interesting since our society today is kind of (familier) ruled by role models or ideals that we have. To start with, I’d like to give a definition of the notion: a myth is a popular belief that often spreads social values, while a hero is someone who’s admired for his or her actions. In relation to the notion, I’m going to deal with the idea of a mythical era, and to cover this topic I chose to talk about the 1960s (normalement the 1960's mais de plus en plus, on met un s à un zéro...). So are the 60s a mythical decade?
First of all, many people consider the 60s as mythical. And I think it is legitimate because a lot of good things happened at this time. The decade was also called the Swinging Sixties and lots of people see that era as vibrant, exciting and fresh with all kinds of new ideas concerning lifestyle, culture, sexual freedom, politics, films, TV and popular music. I think the drawing on the cover of
Furthermore the decade was a time of revolution because a lot of things changed drastically. We studied a text in class excerpt(est un nom alors qu'il vous faut un participe passé) from a website and which was called The Times are changing (c'était aussi une chanson célèbre de Bon Dylan!!). It was dealing with the idea of the different revolutions that took place especially (in?)the UK in the late 1960s, such as the sexual revolution fueled by the uptake of the pill, the counter-culture revolution which was protesting against society’s power structure because it was seen as corrupt, repressive and exploitative. And the text was explaining that for the first time there were more young people than old and that they swept away
So the 60s can be seen as a mythical decade considering that it was a time of renewal and revolution in many domains. But everything wasn’t good during this decade.
(On pourrait peut-être trouver un sur-emploi de prétérit en ing, par exemple, incarnated passerait bien aussi en ed)
Indeed, people who lived through the 1960s and many younger people today think well of the fashions,
So actually, the sixties were all about illusion, illusion of enlightenment, of progress, of youth. People were dodging the problems which became worst and the pretended “modernity” of the decade can now be seen as a complete disaster.
In conclusion, even if there obviously has been many revolutions and some good things that happened during that era, I don’t think it can be seen as totally mythical in the good way I mean, because there are too much(+ pluriel, donc....) bad aspects about the sixties.
Réponse: Correction/anglais renforcé de marange77, postée le 13-01-2016 à 13:49:07 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour votre correction et vos conseils!
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