Correction/ Oral
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Message de luci3 posté le 27-12-2015 à 18:24:06 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je poste ici mon "script" pour l'oral d'anglais du Baccalauréat, si quelqu'un pouvait le corriger s'il vous plaît, merci d'avance.
Pb: Is it true that progress only brings positive changes?
Notion: Idea of progress
Nowadays when we talk about progress it can be about economics, politics, online social networks, transport, technology, medicine or even about problems just like hackers, gossips, criminals, monitoring or frauds. We started our sequence speaking of saviour sibling in fact a sibling is someone who saves his sick brother or sister giving his organs. We discovered an extract from the novel My Sister’s Keeper which tells the story of Anna who meets a lawyer since she has created to save her ill sister and she doesn’t want to save her. In this story there is a problem of ethics because we can wonder why we make children. In this case, the girl seems to be more a medicine than a wanted child. At the same time there is a problem of human rights issue, she is considered as an object and she has no control over her own body. To my mind, if designer babies will be begin to spread I think that some people will go other limits and they will design perfect babies with best qualities. Nevertheless in my opinion there is a positive aspect because I guess that could be a good thing in order to stop diseases: every day there are tremendous advances in medicine. Soon with all the vaccines, medicines and designer babies there won’t be any diseases.
Furthermore we studied an article about eugenics; it’s when you look at the genes of people to select the babies who will be useful for the society. The people who won’t make useful babies are sterilized or killed. This could create pancreatic cancers. Some people wouldn’t be allowed to reproduce, people could be arrested on put in jail if they don’t respect eugenics. Any person who is seen as a problem like old or obese people would be in trouble. In fact it will deeply transform human nature, and as a result people won’t be different. Consequently it will be the end of tolerance: it is very dangerous and some World War 2 ideas could come back. As we saw it previously, it can be useful in medicine since without go out of control, we can select genes in order to avoid some diseases.
Besides we listened to a conversation between Tom and a British girl who talked about their essential things: according to them, they couldn’t live without Internet because it permits them to do absolutely all they want. Reading online newspapers, checking information, keeping in touch, looking for phone numbers, the activities are many and varied. Notwithstanding, some people can develop an addiction and they can forget the essential things. Indeed as far as I’m concerned my essential things is my family since I couldn’t live without them and they are the most important thing in my life. Nothing can match the happiness of being near people that we love. Moreover the Internet can be very dangerous: addiction, pedophiles, harassment, identity theft, violence.
We saw in TV news the proof of the danger on the Internet: a person was raped so she talks to sensitize people. Then she was mocked online, on the social networks. In fact things are moving pretty fast on the Internet, you can give a bad look on you and above all anyone can use all the information that you put on the social networks. In spite of this, social networks have positive aspects indeed you can give your opinion, find a person that you didn’t see since your childhood, share photos…
Progress brings positive changes particularly in medicine and social links but it can brings some negative aspects: we must be suspicious on the Internet and we have to avoid to exceed the limits relating to medicine.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 28-12-2015 22:08
Message de luci3 posté le 27-12-2015 à 18:24:06 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je poste ici mon "script" pour l'oral d'anglais du Baccalauréat, si quelqu'un pouvait le corriger s'il vous plaît, merci d'avance.
Pb: Is it true that progress only brings positive changes?
Notion: Idea of progress
Nowadays when we talk about progress it can be about economics, politics, online social networks, transport, technology, medicine or even about problems just like hackers, gossips, criminals, monitoring or frauds. We started our sequence speaking of saviour sibling in fact a sibling is someone who saves his sick brother or sister giving his organs. We discovered an extract from the novel My Sister’s Keeper which tells the story of Anna who meets a lawyer since she has created to save her ill sister and she doesn’t want to save her. In this story there is a problem of ethics because we can wonder why we make children. In this case, the girl seems to be more a medicine than a wanted child. At the same time there is a problem of human rights issue, she is considered as an object and she has no control over her own body. To my mind, if designer babies will be begin to spread I think that some people will go other limits and they will design perfect babies with best qualities. Nevertheless in my opinion there is a positive aspect because I guess that could be a good thing in order to stop diseases: every day there are tremendous advances in medicine. Soon with all the vaccines, medicines and designer babies there won’t be any diseases.
Furthermore we studied an article about eugenics; it’s when you look at the genes of people to select the babies who will be useful for the society. The people who won’t make useful babies are sterilized or killed. This could create pancreatic cancers. Some people wouldn’t be allowed to reproduce, people could be arrested on put in jail if they don’t respect eugenics. Any person who is seen as a problem like old or obese people would be in trouble. In fact it will deeply transform human nature, and as a result people won’t be different. Consequently it will be the end of tolerance: it is very dangerous and some World War 2 ideas could come back. As we saw it previously, it can be useful in medicine since without go out of control, we can select genes in order to avoid some diseases.
Besides we listened to a conversation between Tom and a British girl who talked about their essential things: according to them, they couldn’t live without Internet because it permits them to do absolutely all they want. Reading online newspapers, checking information, keeping in touch, looking for phone numbers, the activities are many and varied. Notwithstanding, some people can develop an addiction and they can forget the essential things. Indeed as far as I’m concerned my essential things is my family since I couldn’t live without them and they are the most important thing in my life. Nothing can match the happiness of being near people that we love. Moreover the Internet can be very dangerous: addiction, pedophiles, harassment, identity theft, violence.
We saw in TV news the proof of the danger on the Internet: a person was raped so she talks to sensitize people. Then she was mocked online, on the social networks. In fact things are moving pretty fast on the Internet, you can give a bad look on you and above all anyone can use all the information that you put on the social networks. In spite of this, social networks have positive aspects indeed you can give your opinion, find a person that you didn’t see since your childhood, share photos…
Progress brings positive changes particularly in medicine and social links but it can brings some negative aspects: we must be suspicious on the Internet and we have to avoid to exceed the limits relating to medicine.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-12-2015 22:08
Réponse: Correction/ Oral de laure95, postée le 01-01-2016 à 12:21:22 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Je te souhaite une BONNE ANNEE 2016!
- We discovered an extract from the novel: pas le bon verbe.
- My Sister’s Keeper which tells the story: une personne raconte une histoire, pas un roman.
- Anna who meets a lawyer since she has created: mal construit.
- why we make children: utiliser un autre verbe.
- will be begin: cette forme verbale n'existe pas.
-will go other limits: ?
- The people who won’t make useful babies.
- without go out of control: WITHOUT + VERBE + ING.
-according to them, they couldn’t live without Internet: temps.
- the activities are many: MANY = beaucoup.
- they can forget the essential things: précise.
- my essential things is: conjugaison.
- We saw in TV: pas la bonne préposition.
- news the proof: mal dit.
- you didn’t see since: pas le bon temps.
Réponse: Correction/ Oral de luci3, postée le 03-01-2016 à 12:07:57 (S | E)
Bonne année à vous aussi et merci beaucoup pour votre réponse !
Voici mes corrections :
- We studied an extract from the novel
- My Sister’s Keeper which was written by Jodi Picoult who tells us the story
- who tells us the story of Anna. This girl meets a lawyer because she has created to save her ill sister and she doesn’t want to save her.
- why we have children.
- designer babies will begin to spread
- will exceed limits
- The people who won’t have useful babies
- without goind out of control
- according to them, they can't live without Internet (Est-ce ce temps qui convient ?)
- they are many activities
- they can forget the essential things just like family, friends, health or religion.
- my essential things are my family and my friends
- We saw in TV news => je voulais dire que nous avons vu un journal TV la preuve du danger d'Internet, est cette phrase conviendrait mieux : "We saw on a TV news that there are many dangers on the Internet"
- you haven't seen since
Merci d'avance.
Réponse: Correction/ Oral de laure95, postée le 03-01-2016 à 18:46:42 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Merci!
- she has created: mettre à la voix passive.
- according to them, they can't live without Internet (Est-ce ce temps qui convient ?)oui
- they are many activities: THEY ARE = ils sont et non pas "il y a".
- my essential things are my family and my friends: mettre plutôt "the essential things for me are my family,..."
- We saw in TV news => je voulais dire que nous avons vu un journal TV la preuve du danger d'Internet, est cette phrase conviendrait mieux : "We saw on a TV news that there are many dangers on the Internet" oui, c'est mieux.
Tout le reste est bien corrigé!
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