Mail /aide

Mail /aide
Message de poppi15 posté le 07-12-2015 à 18:26:20 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai un devoir d'anglais à faire pour demain , il faut rédiger un mail .Voilà ce que j'ai écrit, je voulais savoir s'il vous plait ce que vous en pensez , merci d'avance pour vos réponses

Mon travail :
Hey Pauline !!
You won't believe it !! I'm going to New York tomorrow with my sister !! And guess what ? We are going to see the Statue of Liberty !!!
So , first , we're going to visit the zoo of Central Park , then we'll go to see the Statue of Liberty , I think that it's the most beautiful monument. And last , we'll go to Times Square to the cinema we'll watch "Dirty Dancing". And maybe we can meet celebrities !! Isn't that amazing ?! I'm so excited :D
I really hope we'll meet celebrities in Times Square. Oh my God I can't wait !!! It's going to be the best day of my entire life !!!
I promise I'll take a lot of photos to show you ...
Gotta go , see you
Love,
Taylor

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Modifié par lucile83 le 07-12-2015 19:11

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Réponse: Mail /aide de poppi15, postée le 07-12-2015 à 21:24:50 (S | E)
Personne ? svp s'il vous plait :?

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Modifié par lucile83 le 07-12-2015 21:29

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Réponse: Mail /aide de sherry48, postée le 07-12-2015 à 22:39:07 (S | E)
Hello.
I think you have done very well!
You can improve 'zoo of Central Park'. Look up the name in English & make that small change.
For this sentence...And last , we'll go to Times Square to the cinema we'll watch "Dirty Dancing", I think a little rearrangement will make a better sentence.
It has a "chatty" tone which is just right for an e-mail.
I hope your teacher likes it.
Sherry

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Réponse: Mail /aide de poppi15, postée le 08-12-2015 à 16:33:58 (S | E)
Thank you Sherry !! I gave the printed e-mail this morning to my teacher. I hope she'll like it .!

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