Correction/US family
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Message de oga59 posté le 26-11-2015 à 19:57:45 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
Pourriez-vous corriger ce texte s'il vous plait?
Merci pour vos réponses.
Pour le contexte, c'est un noir qui raconte son passé :
My name is Gordon Cooper, I was born in Alabama , particiculary near to Montgomery on 26 April 1936. I am black people and my ancestral family was american for long time. My Grandfather and grandmother were slaves and worked in plantation of sugar. Horwever, I don't know them , I never see theem before because my grandfather was killed by white on a street. Then, my father must bred me and my brother Joseph even if he hadtn't any job due to skin's color, nonetheless it wasn't he couldn't work but he didn't want work with a white boss . He said always "Son, don't give up, you can do it, you can realise your dreams".Consequently, as my father didn't work, me and my brotherwere thieves, we stole money of richpeople on street even though that was very a risk because the segregatio was at the top in South of America . But in 1950, my brother Joseph and my father were bruttaly killed in Missisipi .They were tortured, mutilated and beaten like dogs by many white racist of Ku Klux Klan .After their death, I was felling hatre for whitepeople.Therefore, in 1950 , I began to read books about famous abolitionist like William Garison, Frederick Duglass and Licoln. I was very interresting by history of black people in America.Then, afterdeath of Emmet till in 1955, I beagan to participate to the Civil Rights Mouvements, I remember , I followed people like Marthin Luther King, Malcom X or Rosa Parks, I came always to heard their speechs.Thats'why, I came in the Marsh on Washington in Marsh 1963. I remember every details.The days before the marsch, I was very exited about this so I ran to the bus with my old friends, I am very suprised because all of black people of my city toke bus to the Capitol. Whe we arrived, I was amazing by nombers of people.But evryone were determined and hopeful because we was finally listenning.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 26-11-2015 20:06
Message de oga59 posté le 26-11-2015 à 19:57:45 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
Pourriez-vous corriger ce texte s'il vous plait?
Merci pour vos réponses.
Pour le contexte, c'est un noir qui raconte son passé :
My name is Gordon Cooper, I was born in Alabama , particiculary near to Montgomery on 26 April 1936. I am black people and my ancestral family was american for long time. My Grandfather and grandmother were slaves and worked in plantation of sugar. Horwever, I don't know them , I never see theem before because my grandfather was killed by white on a street. Then, my father must bred me and my brother Joseph even if he hadtn't any job due to skin's color, nonetheless it wasn't he couldn't work but he didn't want work with a white boss . He said always "Son, don't give up, you can do it, you can realise your dreams".Consequently, as my father didn't work, me and my brotherwere thieves, we stole money of richpeople on street even though that was very a risk because the segregatio was at the top in South of America . But in 1950, my brother Joseph and my father were bruttaly killed in Missisipi .They were tortured, mutilated and beaten like dogs by many white racist of Ku Klux Klan .After their death, I was felling hatre for whitepeople.Therefore, in 1950 , I began to read books about famous abolitionist like William Garison, Frederick Duglass and Licoln. I was very interresting by history of black people in America.Then, afterdeath of Emmet till in 1955, I beagan to participate to the Civil Rights Mouvements, I remember , I followed people like Marthin Luther King, Malcom X or Rosa Parks, I came always to heard their speechs.Thats'why, I came in the Marsh on Washington in Marsh 1963. I remember every details.The days before the marsch, I was very exited about this so I ran to the bus with my old friends, I am very suprised because all of black people of my city toke bus to the Capitol. Whe we arrived, I was amazing by nombers of people.But evryone were determined and hopeful because we was finally listenning.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 26-11-2015 20:06
Réponse: Correction/US family de laure95, postée le 28-11-2015 à 15:17:09 (S | E)
Bonjour,
- near to Montgomery: enlever TO.
- I am black people: PEOPLE = mot au pluriel (des gens, des personnes).
- and my ancestral family was american for long time: pas le bon temps + il manque l'article A devant LONG.
- I never see theem before: pas le bon temps: utiliser le présent perfect.
- by white: il manque un nom après car WHITE est un adjectif.
- on a street: pas la bonne préposition.
- my father must bred me: MUST doit être suivi d'un verbe à l'infinitif.
- hadtn't: ?
-skin's color: il faut un possessif devant SKIN.
-it wasn't he: mal dit.
- he didn't want work: il manque TO entre WANT et WORK.
- He said always: mots pas dans la bon ordre.
- me and my brotherwere thieves, we stole money: pas de reprise de sujet + ME est un pronom complément.
- of richpeople on street: pas les bonnes prépositions.
- that was very a risk: utiliser l'adjectif plutôt que le nom.
- in South of America: il manque un article devant SOUTH.
- many white racist: pluriel.
- felling hatre: ?
- famous abolitionist: pluriel.
- interresting by: pas la bonne préposition.
- till in 1955: ne pas mettre 2 prépositions.
-I beagan: orthographe.
- to participate to: pas la bonne préposition.
- I came always: ordre des mots.
- to heard: TO + INFINITIF.
- every details: EVERY + SINGULIER.
-the marsch: orthographe.
- exited: orthographe.
- I am very suprised: passé.
- toke: ce n'est pas le prétérit de TAKE.
- I was amazing: WAS + PARTICIPE PASSE.
-by nombers: orthographe.
- we was finally listenning: mal dit.
Attention à l'orthographe!
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