Correction/ texte
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Message de mathis44 posté le 30-10-2015 à 22:32:24 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ;)
Est-ce qu'il serait possible de m'aider à corriger mes fautessvp s'il vous plait ?
Merci d'avance (ce sont mes devoirs d'anglais).
I don’t really know what I could do to own success but for me having a successful career come back to be rich and famous. So if I wanted to become famous and if I were motivated, I would be able to make sacrifices. For example, if I became a very famous actor and if I liked it, I would eventualy agree for not to see my family or my friends. But if I realized that my job didn’t please me and if someone promised me that I will become famous and wealthy, I don’t think that I could refuse. Furthermore, I consider that there are some limits we should not cross to become famous. As an example, make love or fight my rivals. Because after that, I won't be able to see me in a mirror. I don't even think of becoming famous but if someone helped me to do, I could accept this celebrity, only if it’s good for me. However, the celebrity is double-edged. A lot of celebrity go downhill. They abuse of drugs, alcohol... Then, they had to support a lot of pressure, with all these fans who constantly want to take pictures, or with these paparazzis who spy them just to get scandals. If that is celebrity, I am not ready to accept it.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-10-2015 22:33
Message de mathis44 posté le 30-10-2015 à 22:32:24 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ;)
Est-ce qu'il serait possible de m'aider à corriger mes fautes
Merci d'avance (ce sont mes devoirs d'anglais).
I don’t really know what I could do to own success but for me having a successful career come back to be rich and famous. So if I wanted to become famous and if I were motivated, I would be able to make sacrifices. For example, if I became a very famous actor and if I liked it, I would eventualy agree for not to see my family or my friends. But if I realized that my job didn’t please me and if someone promised me that I will become famous and wealthy, I don’t think that I could refuse. Furthermore, I consider that there are some limits we should not cross to become famous. As an example, make love or fight my rivals. Because after that, I won't be able to see me in a mirror. I don't even think of becoming famous but if someone helped me to do, I could accept this celebrity, only if it’s good for me. However, the celebrity is double-edged. A lot of celebrity go downhill. They abuse of drugs, alcohol... Then, they had to support a lot of pressure, with all these fans who constantly want to take pictures, or with these paparazzis who spy them just to get scandals. If that is celebrity, I am not ready to accept it.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 30-10-2015 22:33
Réponse: Correction/ texte de laure95, postée le 01-11-2015 à 11:18:07 (S | E)
Bonjour,
-to own success.
- come back: pas le verbe approprié.
-for not to see my family: enlever FOR.
-I will become famous and wealthy: à mettre au conditionel.
-As an example: FOR EXAMPLE
-to see me in a mirror: se regarder dans le mirroir: TO LOOK ONESELF in a Mirror.
- to do: ajouter IT.
- A lot of celebrity: à mettre au pluriel.
- Then, they had: pourquoi changer de temps?
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