Correction/Mythes et héros
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Message de darkrosen posté le 23-06-2015 à 20:47:17 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ,
quelqu'un pourrait-il corriger mon plan d'anglais sur Mythes et héros s'il vous plait? Merci d'avance
Voici la première partie:
I will speak about the notion « Myths and heroes ».A myth can be defined as a story about god or heroes,it can be a popular belief or a tradition or a false notion.A hero can be a mythological figure ,a person who is admired for his or her achiviements,a superhero or maybe a role model or an icon,To illustrate this I chose the exemple of Apartheid.Apatheid is a system wich Black people were discriminated against.The were looked down and cut off from white society.So they started to fight for equality between Blacks and Whites.My problematic is:What remarkable character or heroic figures helped shape South Africa ?
1)The bench dispute
The scene takes place in the railway station in South Africa.
Two characters speak,One character in a young white boy and the other is a black man,Karlie,
The young boy says to Karlie doesn't seat on this bench because it's reserv for white people.But Karlie doesn't leave.The younger is persistent. First he seems polite enough yet firm in his resquet.Second he is very ruder. This tone shows how this young white boy is prejudiced against black.But Karlie doesn't ask, he puffs at his cigarette. So the youth resorts to threat. Nevertheless Karlie keeps silence, he still doesn't under a word,because he isn't impressed.He feels empowered against an unfair system.He had won the first round.He his proud of himself instead of feeling like an underdog.He even says how determined,he his to go until the end with will-power and courage.
At the paragraph 8, the police arrive.The policeman orders him to get away.Yet he confronted with Karlie's silence and passivity.We see the police man seems to be suprised.He is not used to seeing a black man who disobeys. He is taken by suprise and he must feel confused.
At the end of the text, Karlie is strock and arrested.But it's a hero beacause he has dared to site on a White only bench.
2) The long walk to freedom :Nelson Mandela
Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison before he has been releas in 1990.In the early 1970's,he started to write the story of his life.At first he had to writen it in secret.In 1991,he began negociating to end the racist policies of the white government.He shared the 1993 Nobel with De Clerk.Soon after his release from prison, he finished his book.He entitled it The Long Walk To Freedom. In the extract of the biography speak about 5 periods : His chilhood,his youth,his adulthood,his imprissonnement and his liberation. During his chilhood, Mandela has a rural upbringing with his tribe.The tribe had an aspect of solidarity ,very traditionnal,family centered. Mandela seems quite nostalgique with positif memories.It's a symbol of the perfect peace of mind as thing used to be so simple. The youth is the age of his first illusions.He wanted to succed on his studieds,to get a decent job,to build his own family.But the adulhood is the time of desillusions,freedom is bread crumble for Black people.He feels offended .He feels as an youngstershe was individualistic.Now he has become community-centered and wants to involve himself.For him, the laws are injust. Black are deprived of their libety,which Mandela defines as a lack of « dignity ».That's why he joined the ANC in 1943 at 30. The lawyer became then an activist committed to change the situation.He is a freedom fighter.The discrimination he suffered from made him rebellious and provcative.Mandela was imprissoned in 1964,sentenced to spend life, impresson on charge of terrorism.He was sent to Robben Island.During his incarceration,the Internationa community started to side with him, asking for his release Mandela was finally freed in 1990. His devotion and long imprisonnement had made him an symbol of resistance in the face of injustice.He was elected 4 years later.Mandela doesn't consider him-self as a hero since he admits to make mistake,to being human,even if be sacrificed his best years to his beliefs.To him, even though a series of reforms put on end to Apartheid.The battle for complete equality between Blacks and Whites people has just become.
3) Cry freedom: Biko
Biko was a black activist who fighted against Apartheid.
The film cry freedom speak about he.At begin of the film, there is a police raid on a ghetto.This police raid is extremely violent because people are beaten up and the slum is totally destroyed.It's an extreme repression. Next,the scene take places in the Newspaper office.AT the paper Woods and his assistant photographer,Ken, took photos of the violence of the raid and they are ready to publish them to inform their whites readers that this is what is going but they do not agree with such violent repression.They want to denounce that violence even if they risq censhorship.Woods and Ken could be banned. Woods totally disapproves of white supremacy.For him, Biko advocates a black revolution .Biko is an extremiste. He his dangerous.In the third scene, the Doctor Ramphele,who is à black women arrived in the Newspaper office and wants to convince Woods this isn't what Biko's philosophy is all about.She said where is Biko.He is in William's Town,his banning area.
The first encounter of Woods and Biko take place in King's William town.After this encounter,they visited the Zanepoli Clinic and Health Center.During this visit Biko ask to Woods if he ever spent any time in a black township.Woods is embarrased and the two firsts scenes of the extract 2 take place in black township. Blacks living in the township with harsh-living conditions.These conditions are miserable. Biko blames Whites for forcing blacks into living in indecent conditions.He blames Whites for feeling superior and making blacks think they are inferior..The third scene of the extract takes place during a football match.Biko makes a speech.He call lto fight and struggle for equality to change South Africa.He hightlight the qualities and stenght after the black nation with the words « pride », »black history », »black heroes » and « black culture ». The last scene of the extract takes place in a courthouse.During the trial,the prosecutor,oppose,black and white,state and individual,system and black consciouness.,him and Biko.Biko is suprising because he is very articulatre, spiritual cunning,witty.He uses words cleverly.He turns the situation to his advantage.Althrough he was charged with several offensed.But Biko was never convicted .He was arrested and detained four times.He died in september officialy from an hunger strike.Yet he was tortured by the police and died in the mysterious raisons.His arrest and death profondly shocked the international public opinion.
My problematic was : What remarkable character or heroic figures helped shape South Africa ?To conclude the remarkable character or heroic figures helped shape South Africa are black character like Karlie, or Blacks people who are become an heroic figure in the world like Nelson Mandela and Biko.We have speak about the Apartheid in South Africa but others discrimation system was excited in the world.In fact, during the sixtiees Rosa Park was fighted against the inequality between Whites and Blacks people in the United States
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Modifié par lucile83 le 23-06-2015 21:26
Message de darkrosen posté le 23-06-2015 à 20:47:17 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ,
quelqu'un pourrait-il corriger mon plan d'anglais sur Mythes et héros s'il vous plait? Merci d'avance
Voici la première partie:
I will speak about the notion « Myths and heroes ».A myth can be defined as a story about god or heroes,it can be a popular belief or a tradition or a false notion.A hero can be a mythological figure ,a person who is admired for his or her achiviements,a superhero or maybe a role model or an icon,To illustrate this I chose the exemple of Apartheid.Apatheid is a system wich Black people were discriminated against.The were looked down and cut off from white society.So they started to fight for equality between Blacks and Whites.My problematic is:What remarkable character or heroic figures helped shape South Africa ?
1)The bench dispute
The scene takes place in the railway station in South Africa.
Two characters speak,One character in a young white boy and the other is a black man,Karlie,
The young boy says to Karlie doesn't seat on this bench because it's reserv for white people.But Karlie doesn't leave.The younger is persistent. First he seems polite enough yet firm in his resquet.Second he is very ruder. This tone shows how this young white boy is prejudiced against black.But Karlie doesn't ask, he puffs at his cigarette. So the youth resorts to threat. Nevertheless Karlie keeps silence, he still doesn't under a word,because he isn't impressed.He feels empowered against an unfair system.He had won the first round.He his proud of himself instead of feeling like an underdog.He even says how determined,he his to go until the end with will-power and courage.
At the paragraph 8, the police arrive.The policeman orders him to get away.Yet he confronted with Karlie's silence and passivity.We see the police man seems to be suprised.He is not used to seeing a black man who disobeys. He is taken by suprise and he must feel confused.
At the end of the text, Karlie is strock and arrested.But it's a hero beacause he has dared to site on a White only bench.
2) The long walk to freedom :Nelson Mandela
Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison before he has been releas in 1990.In the early 1970's,he started to write the story of his life.At first he had to writen it in secret.In 1991,he began negociating to end the racist policies of the white government.He shared the 1993 Nobel with De Clerk.Soon after his release from prison, he finished his book.He entitled it The Long Walk To Freedom. In the extract of the biography speak about 5 periods : His chilhood,his youth,his adulthood,his imprissonnement and his liberation. During his chilhood, Mandela has a rural upbringing with his tribe.The tribe had an aspect of solidarity ,very traditionnal,family centered. Mandela seems quite nostalgique with positif memories.It's a symbol of the perfect peace of mind as thing used to be so simple. The youth is the age of his first illusions.He wanted to succed on his studieds,to get a decent job,to build his own family.But the adulhood is the time of desillusions,freedom is bread crumble for Black people.He feels offended .He feels as an youngstershe was individualistic.Now he has become community-centered and wants to involve himself.For him, the laws are injust. Black are deprived of their libety,which Mandela defines as a lack of « dignity ».That's why he joined the ANC in 1943 at 30. The lawyer became then an activist committed to change the situation.He is a freedom fighter.The discrimination he suffered from made him rebellious and provcative.Mandela was imprissoned in 1964,sentenced to spend life, impresson on charge of terrorism.He was sent to Robben Island.During his incarceration,the Internationa community started to side with him, asking for his release Mandela was finally freed in 1990. His devotion and long imprisonnement had made him an symbol of resistance in the face of injustice.He was elected 4 years later.Mandela doesn't consider him-self as a hero since he admits to make mistake,to being human,even if be sacrificed his best years to his beliefs.To him, even though a series of reforms put on end to Apartheid.The battle for complete equality between Blacks and Whites people has just become.
3) Cry freedom: Biko
Biko was a black activist who fighted against Apartheid.
The film cry freedom speak about he.At begin of the film, there is a police raid on a ghetto.This police raid is extremely violent because people are beaten up and the slum is totally destroyed.It's an extreme repression. Next,the scene take places in the Newspaper office.AT the paper Woods and his assistant photographer,Ken, took photos of the violence of the raid and they are ready to publish them to inform their whites readers that this is what is going but they do not agree with such violent repression.They want to denounce that violence even if they risq censhorship.Woods and Ken could be banned. Woods totally disapproves of white supremacy.For him, Biko advocates a black revolution .Biko is an extremiste. He his dangerous.In the third scene, the Doctor Ramphele,who is à black women arrived in the Newspaper office and wants to convince Woods this isn't what Biko's philosophy is all about.She said where is Biko.He is in William's Town,his banning area.
The first encounter of Woods and Biko take place in King's William town.After this encounter,they visited the Zanepoli Clinic and Health Center.During this visit Biko ask to Woods if he ever spent any time in a black township.Woods is embarrased and the two firsts scenes of the extract 2 take place in black township. Blacks living in the township with harsh-living conditions.These conditions are miserable. Biko blames Whites for forcing blacks into living in indecent conditions.He blames Whites for feeling superior and making blacks think they are inferior..The third scene of the extract takes place during a football match.Biko makes a speech.He call lto fight and struggle for equality to change South Africa.He hightlight the qualities and stenght after the black nation with the words « pride », »black history », »black heroes » and « black culture ». The last scene of the extract takes place in a courthouse.During the trial,the prosecutor,oppose,black and white,state and individual,system and black consciouness.,him and Biko.Biko is suprising because he is very articulatre, spiritual cunning,witty.He uses words cleverly.He turns the situation to his advantage.Althrough he was charged with several offensed.But Biko was never convicted .He was arrested and detained four times.He died in september officialy from an hunger strike.Yet he was tortured by the police and died in the mysterious raisons.His arrest and death profondly shocked the international public opinion.
My problematic was : What remarkable character or heroic figures helped shape South Africa ?To conclude the remarkable character or heroic figures helped shape South Africa are black character like Karlie, or Blacks people who are become an heroic figure in the world like Nelson Mandela and Biko.We have speak about the Apartheid in South Africa but others discrimation system was excited in the world.In fact, during the sixtiees Rosa Park was fighted against the inequality between Whites and Blacks people in the United States
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 23-06-2015 21:26
Réponse: Correction/Mythes et héros de here4u, postée le 23-06-2015 à 23:51:15 (S | E)
Hello!
I will speak about the notion « Myths and heroes ».A myth can be defined as a story about godS or heroes,it can be a popular belief or a tradition or a false notion.A hero can be a mythological figure ,a person who is admired for his or her achiviements,a superhero or maybe a role model or an icon,To illustrate this I chose the exemple of Apartheid.Apatheid is a system wich Black people were discriminated against.The were looked down ON and cut off from white society.So they started to fight for equality between Blacks and Whites.My problematic is:What remarkable character or heroic figures helped shape South Africa ?
1)The bench dispute
The scene takes place in the railway station in South Africa.
Two characters speak,One character in a young white boy and the other is a black man,Karlie,
The young boy says to Karlie doesn't seat on this bench because it's reserv for white people.But Karlie doesn't leave.The younger is persistent. First he seems polite enough yet firm in his resquet.Second he is very ruder. This tone shows how this young white boy is prejudiced against black.But Karlie doesn't ask,
he puffs at his cigarette. So the youth resorts to threat. Nevertheless Karlie keeps silence, he still doesn't under a word,because he isn't impressed.He feels empowered against an unfair system.He had won the first round.He his proud of himself instead of feeling like an underdog.He even says how determined,he his to go until the end with will-power and courage.At the paragraph 8, the police arrive.The policeman orders him to get away.Yet he confronted with Karlie's silence and passivity.We see the police man seems to be suprised.He is not used to seeing a black man who disobeys. He is taken by suprise and he must feel confused.
At the end of the text, Karlie is strock and arrested.But it's a hero beacause he has dared to site on a White only bench.
2) The long walk to freedom :Nelson Mandela
Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison before he has been releas in 1990.In the early 1970's,he started to write the story of his life.At first he had to writen it in secret.In 1991,he began negociating to end the racist policies of the white government.He shared the 1993 Nobel with De Clerk.Soon after his release from prison, he finished his book.He entitled it The Long Walk To Freedom. In the extract of the biography speak about 5 periods : His chilhood,his youth,his adulthood,his imprissonnement and his liberation. During his chilhood, Mandela has a rural upbringing with his tribe.The tribe had an aspect of solidarity ,very traditionnal,family centered. Mandela seems quite nostalgique with positif memories.It's a symbol of the perfect peace of mind as thing used to be so simple. The youth is the age of his first illusions.He wanted to succed on his studieds,to get a decent job,to build his own family.But the adulhood is the time of desillusions,freedom is bread crumble
for Black people.He feels offended .He feels as an youngster she was individualistic.Now(Je ne comprends rien aux temps employés ...Vous parlez du passé au présent et d'un homme mort comme s'il avait un avenir...) Vraiment désolée... Je ne peux pas aller plus loin en l'état ...
il y a beaucoup de travail à faire ...Courage !
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