Oral/Myths and Heroes
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Message de tom2153 posté le 24-05-2015 à 11:04:51 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
je passe mon oral d'anglais dans 3 jours . J'ai rédigé ma dernière notion pour le Bac. Si vous pouviez m'aider à la corriger et me dire ce que vous en pensez ce serait super sympa de votre part
. Toute correction ou conseil serait le bienvenu 
. Je vous remercie à l'avance pour votre aide.
I am going to present to you the notion « Myths and Heroes ».Let me first define the notion.The myths aims to recount the exploints of being fabulous, heroes, through legendary stories.The hero is the person who is distinguished by his courage and who is admired by his people. We are thus entitled to wonder :Wich have to be the hero's value? To approach this question,I am going to take the case of Martin Luther King. So I am going to develop my opinion through three points: First of all we shall see who is MKL then we shall speak about this action and his distinction and we shall eventually speak about the movie Selma.
I am going to beginby presenting you Martin Luther King Junior. King was born on January 15th, 1929 in Atlanta, Georgia. By his activism, he played a determining role in ending the legal segregation of Afro-American citizens in the South as well as the creation of Civil Rights Act of 1964 and Voting Rights Act of 1965. King was murdered in April 1968.
In spite of the charges of tax fraud, embezzlement and in spite of the threats which pressed on him and on his family, King knew mark the America 's history and is recognized as a hero today. In the United States, the memory of Martin Luther King is honored by monuments, parks, street end even by holyday. Since 1986, indeed, King entered in the pantheon of the America's heroes.
Now I am going to present you thus Selma. This one is an American movie realized by Ava Duvernay, brought out in 2014. The movie tells,that in 1964, while the tensions rise, King and his partners decide to realize walking from Selma to Mongomery. They have to deal with the violence of the local police force, managed by sheriff Jim Clark and by governor George Wallace. King is interpreted by David Oyelowo. This movie allows the new generation to rediscover this man who by his convictions became the hero of a whole population.
In conclusion, Martin Luther King is the example of the realistic hero standing out by his oratical strenght and his speeches fighting against the causes of the racial segregation. His dream is realized during the election of Barack Obama, first black president of the United States, who joins in the lineage of the progress of the racial question in America. Beside as the British Prime Minister and novelist, Benjamin Disraeli :"The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example".
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Modifié par lucile83 le 24-05-2015 14:31
Message de tom2153 posté le 24-05-2015 à 11:04:51 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
je passe mon oral d'anglais dans 3 jours . J'ai rédigé ma dernière notion pour le Bac. Si vous pouviez m'aider à la corriger et me dire ce que vous en pensez ce serait super sympa de votre part
. Toute correction ou conseil serait le bienvenu . Je vous remercie à l'avance pour votre aide.I am going to present to you the notion « Myths and Heroes ».Let me first define the notion.The myths aims to recount the exploints of being fabulous, heroes, through legendary stories.The hero is the person who is distinguished by his courage and who is admired by his people. We are thus entitled to wonder :Wich have to be the hero's value? To approach this question,I am going to take the case of Martin Luther King. So I am going to develop my opinion through three points: First of all we shall see who is MKL then we shall speak about this action and his distinction and we shall eventually speak about the movie Selma.
I am going to beginby presenting you Martin Luther King Junior. King was born on January 15th, 1929 in Atlanta, Georgia. By his activism, he played a determining role in ending the legal segregation of Afro-American citizens in the South as well as the creation of Civil Rights Act of 1964 and Voting Rights Act of 1965. King was murdered in April 1968.
In spite of the charges of tax fraud, embezzlement and in spite of the threats which pressed on him and on his family, King knew mark the America 's history and is recognized as a hero today. In the United States, the memory of Martin Luther King is honored by monuments, parks, street end even by holyday. Since 1986, indeed, King entered in the pantheon of the America's heroes.
Now I am going to present you thus Selma. This one is an American movie realized by Ava Duvernay, brought out in 2014. The movie tells,that in 1964, while the tensions rise, King and his partners decide to realize walking from Selma to Mongomery. They have to deal with the violence of the local police force, managed by sheriff Jim Clark and by governor George Wallace. King is interpreted by David Oyelowo. This movie allows the new generation to rediscover this man who by his convictions became the hero of a whole population.
In conclusion, Martin Luther King is the example of the realistic hero standing out by his oratical strenght and his speeches fighting against the causes of the racial segregation. His dream is realized during the election of Barack Obama, first black president of the United States, who joins in the lineage of the progress of the racial question in America. Beside as the British Prime Minister and novelist, Benjamin Disraeli :"The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example".
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Modifié par lucile83 le 24-05-2015 14:31
Réponse: Oral/Myths and Heroes de here4u, postée le 24-05-2015 à 11:27:52 (S | E)
Hello !
I am going to present to you the notion « Myths and Heroes ».Let me first define the notion.The myths aims to recount the exploints of being fabulous heroes, through legendary stories.The hero is the person who is distinguished by his courage and who is admired by his people. We are thus entitled to wonder : Wich have to be the hero's value? To approach this question,I am going to take the case of Martin Luther King. So I am going to develop my opinion through three points: First of all we shall see who is MKL then we shall speak about this actionS and his distinction
and we shall eventually speak about the movie Selma.I am going to beginby presenting you Martin Luther King Junior. King was born on January 15th, 1929 in Atlanta, Georgia. By his activism, he played a determining role in ending the legal segregation of Afro-American citizens in the South as well as the creation of XXX Civil Rights Act of 1964 and XXX Voting Rights Act of 1965. King was murdered in April 1968.
In spite of the charges of tax fraud, embezzlement and in spite of the threats which pressed on him and on his family, King knew mark the America 's history and is recognized as a hero today. In the United States, the memory of Martin Luther King is honored by monuments, parks, street end even by A holyday. Since 1986, indeed, King entered in the pantheon of the America's heroes.
Now I am going to present you thus ? Selma. This one is an American movie realized by Ava Duvernay, brought out in 2014. The movie tells,that in 1964, while the tensions rise(tense), King and his partners decide to realize walkingmarch from Selma to Mongomery. They have to deal with the violence of the local police force, managed by sheriff Jim Clark and by governor George Wallace. King is interpreted by David Oyelowo. This movie allows the new generation to rediscover this man who by his convictions became the hero of a whole population.
In conclusion, Martin Luther King is the example of the realistic hero standing out by his oratical strenght and his speeches fighting against the causes of the racial segregation. His dream is (is it?) and tense...) realized during the election of Barack Obama,XXX first black president of the United States, who joins in the lineage of the progress of the racial question in America. Beside as the British Prime Minister and novelist, Benjamin Disraeli had said:"The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example".
Réponse: Oral/Myths and Heroes de tom2153, postée le 24-05-2015 à 15:17:04 (S | E)
Bonjour,,
merci de votre réponse. Pourriez vous me dire ce que vous pensez de ma correction ? Merci par avance.
I am going to present to you the notion « Myths and Heroes ».Let me first define the notion.The myth's aim is to recount the exploints of being fabulous, heroes, through legendary stories.The hero is the person who is distinguished by his courage and who is admired by his people. We are thus entitled to wonder :Which have to be the hero's values? To approach this question,I am going to take the case of Martin Luther King. So I am going to develop my opinion through three points: First of all we shall see the biography of MKL then we shall speak about his actions and his distinction and we shall eventually speak about the movie Selma.
I am going to begin by presenting you Martin Luther King Junior. King was born on January 15th, 1929 in Atlanta, Georgia. By his activism, he played a determining role in ending the legal segregation of Afro-American citizens in the South as well as the creation of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Act of 1965. King was murdered in April 1968.
In spite of the charges of tax fraud, embezzlement and in spite of the threats which pressed on him and on his family, King has made the America's history and is recognized as a hero today. In the United States, the memory of Martin Luther King is honored by monuments, parks, street end even by holyday. Since 1986, indeed, King entered at the pantheon of America's heroes.
Now I am going to talk you thus about Selma. This film is an American movie realized by Ava Duvernay, gone out in 2014. The movie tells,that in 1964, while tensions rise, King and his partners decided to realize walks from Selma to Mongomery. They had to deal with the violence of the local police force, managed by sheriff Jim Clark and by governor George Wallace. King is interpreted by David Oyelowo. This movie allows the new generation to rediscover this man who by his convictions became the hero of a whole population.
In conclusion, Martin Luther King is the example of the realistic hero standing out by his speaker strenght and his speeches fighting against the causes of a racial segregation. His dream was realized during the election of Barack Obama,the first black president of the United States, who join in the lineage of the progress of the racial question in America. Beside as the British Prime Minister and novelist, Benjamin Disraeli had said:"The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example".
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Modifié par lucile83 le 24-05-2015 16:04
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Modifié par tom2153 le 24-05-2015 17:35
Réponse: Oral/Myths and Heroes de here4u, postée le 24-05-2015 à 17:51:31 (S | E)
Hello !
blue = wrong
green = suggestions
underlined = very clumsy
XXX = missing elements!
Réponse: Oral/Myths and Heroes de tom2153, postée le 24-05-2015 à 15:17:04 (S | E)
Bonjour,,merci de votre réponse. Pourriez vous me dire ce que vous pensez de ma correction ? Merci par avance.
I am going to present to you the notion XX « Myths and Heroes ».Let me first define the notion.The myth's aim(forme en 'of' préférable) is to recount the exploints of being fabulous(= adj), heroes(= noun!), through legendary stories.The hero is the person who is distinguished by his courage and who is admired by (his) people. We are thus entitled to wonder :Which have to be the hero's values?(ici, mélange d'interrogatives directe et indirecte => incorrect!) To approach this question,I am going to take the case of Martin Luther King. So I am going to develop my opinion through three points: First of all we shall see the biography of MKL then we shall speak about his actions and his distinctionS? and we shall eventually speak about the movie Selma.
I am going to begin by presenting you Martin Luther King Junior. King was born on January 15th, 1929 in Atlanta, Georgia. By his activism, he played a determining role in ending the legal segregation of Afro-American citizens in the South as well as the creation of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Act of 1965. King was murdered in April 1968.
In spite of the charges of tax fraud, embezzlement and in spite of the threats which pressed on him and on his family, King has made the America's history and is recognized as a hero today. In the United States, the memory of Martin Luther King is honored by monuments, parks, street end even by X holyday. Since 1986, indeed, King entered at the pantheon of America's heroes.(Why make again the mistakes I had already pointed out?
)
Now I am going to talk you thus about Selma.(Selma is a town!) This film is an American movie realized by Ava Duvernay, gone out in 2014. The movie tells,that in 1964, while tensions rise, King and his partners decided to realize walks from Selma to Mongomery. They had to deal with the violence of the local police force, managed by sheriff Jim Clark and by governor George Wallace. King is interpreted by David Oyelowo. This movie allows the new generation to rediscover this man who by his convictions became the hero of a whole population.
In conclusion, Martin Luther King is the example of the realistic hero standing out by his speaker strenght and his speeches fighting against the causes of (a) racial segregation. His dream was realized during the election of Barack Obama,the first black president of the United States, who join in the lineage of the progress of the racial question in America. Beside as the British Prime Minister and novelist, Benjamin Disraeli had said:"The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example".
Réponse: Oral/Myths and Heroes de tom2153, postée le 25-05-2015 à 11:04:39 (S | E)
Bonjour voici ma nouvelle correction:
I am going to introduce you the notion of « Myths and Heroes ».Let me first define the notion.The aim of a myth is to recount the exploits of being fabulous, heroes, through legendary stories.The hero is the person who is distinguished by his courage and who is admired by his people. We are thus entitled to wonder :What are the hero's values? To approach this question,I am going to take Martin Luther King 's life. Thus I am going to develop my opinion through three points: First of all we shall see the biography of MKL then we shall speak about his actions and his distinction and we shall eventually speak about the movie Selma.
I am going to begin by introducing you Martin Luther King Junior. King was born on January 15th, 1929 in Atlanta, Georgia. By his activism, he played a determining role in ending the legal segregation of Afro-American citizens in the South as well as the creation of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Act of 1965. King was murdered in April 1968.
In spite of the charges of tax fraud, embezzlement and in spite of the threats which pressed on him and on his family, King has made the history of America and is recognized as a hero today. In the United States, the memory of Martin Luther King is honored by monuments, parks, street end even by the holyday. Since 1986, indeed, King entered the pantheon of heroes of America.
Now I am going to talk you thus about the movie "Selma". This film is an 2014 American movie realized by Ava Duvernay . The movie tells,that in 1964, while tensions rising, King and his partners decided to realize walk from Selma to Mongomery. They had to deal with the violence of the local police force, managed by sheriff Jim Clark and by governor George Wallace. King is interpreted by David Oyelowo. This movie allows the new generation to rediscover this man who by his convictions became the hero of a whole population.
In conclusion, Martin Luther King is the example of the realistic hero standing out by his persuasiveness and his speeches fighting against the causes of a racial segregation. His dream was realized during the election of Barack Obama,the first black president of the United States, who joined in the lineage of the progress of the racial question in America. Besides as the British Prime Minister and novelist, Benjamin Disraeli had said:"The legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example".
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