Oral/Myths and heroes
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Message de psukhe posté le 23-05-2015 à 19:36:06 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je ne suis pas très douée avec l'anglais et sa conjugaison/grammaire..et je passe mon oral bientôt.. Serait-il possible de corriger, s'il vous plaît?
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses!
Ps : je suis en spécialité LVA, mon oral dure donc 10 min ce qui explique la longueur de ma préparation !
A myth is a story that may or may not be true. There may not be proof that they happened, but at least some parts of myths may be true. Some myths may have started as ‘true’ stories but as people re-told them some parts may have been changed by mistake. And a hero is a person with good values who is admired for his courage or achievements. It can be a superhero, a character from a book or a film. But it can also be a modern-day hero, simply our own personal hero, our role model, who we look up to or a person who has performed a heroic act. As well as the Music Band of the Titanic the night the boat sank. We can wonder, what made musicians of the Titanic heroes? The documents I will use, are « The Heroic Musicians Of The Titanic », a video “what makes a hero?” and representations of the band on 2 films.
The article talks about the Titanic's wreck. It mostly deals with the musicians, persons we did not think about. But they were really important. Every night they played for all the classes of passenger, everyone appreciated because they played various musics. At midnight, when the ship started to sink, the band continued to play for more than two hours, then the band leader dismissed his band and continue to play alone for the passengers. The video about “what makes a hero?” reveals that all the heroes we know have the same “hero cycle”. The quest of heroes passes through a special world. If we look closer, the acts of musicians followed this hero cycle and its keys events. The departure key represents the moment when they began their journey aboard the Titanic. The crisis key is when they had to play during the titanic sank, during two hours with cheery music to calm people around us. The sank was their worst fear. They died to calm the atmosphere. There was a permanent feeling of fear but they had to show no emotions but calmness. They kept their self-control. They notwithstanding finished the hero cycle even if they died because, survivors made them existing and living throughout years with histories by word of mouths or by the press.
In films of Roy Ward Baker in 1953 and James Cameron in 1997, the scene where musicians played music during the sank is present in both. Paul Louden-Brown, worked as a consultant on James Cameron's film. He says that the musician scene in the film A Night To Remember was so beautifully crafted that Cameron decided to repeat it in his film. James Cameron said 'I stole that entirely and put that into my film, because I loved it, it was such a strong part of the story.' It shows that the scene became mythical and it was so powerful that it had to be on the film of James Cameron. The musicians were first and foremost humans and that is why they can be considered heroes. They preferred to let others before themselves be saved.
We can clearly say that the musicians of the Titanic are heroes thanks to their acts of courage, humanity and determination. I think that not everybody would die for this kind of cause. They were brave and they had all the qualities of a hero. They are also a myth because their story do not stop to be told through generations, and even today we talk about this story, with the article published in 2012 and the James Cameron's film released in 1997.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 23-05-2015 20:21
Message de psukhe posté le 23-05-2015 à 19:36:06 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je ne suis pas très douée avec l'anglais et sa conjugaison/grammaire..et je passe mon oral bientôt.. Serait-il possible de corriger, s'il vous plaît?
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses!
Ps : je suis en spécialité LVA, mon oral dure donc 10 min ce qui explique la longueur de ma préparation !
A myth is a story that may or may not be true. There may not be proof that they happened, but at least some parts of myths may be true. Some myths may have started as ‘true’ stories but as people re-told them some parts may have been changed by mistake. And a hero is a person with good values who is admired for his courage or achievements. It can be a superhero, a character from a book or a film. But it can also be a modern-day hero, simply our own personal hero, our role model, who we look up to or a person who has performed a heroic act. As well as the Music Band of the Titanic the night the boat sank. We can wonder, what made musicians of the Titanic heroes? The documents I will use, are « The Heroic Musicians Of The Titanic », a video “what makes a hero?” and representations of the band on 2 films.
The article talks about the Titanic's wreck. It mostly deals with the musicians, persons we did not think about. But they were really important. Every night they played for all the classes of passenger, everyone appreciated because they played various musics. At midnight, when the ship started to sink, the band continued to play for more than two hours, then the band leader dismissed his band and continue to play alone for the passengers. The video about “what makes a hero?” reveals that all the heroes we know have the same “hero cycle”. The quest of heroes passes through a special world. If we look closer, the acts of musicians followed this hero cycle and its keys events. The departure key represents the moment when they began their journey aboard the Titanic. The crisis key is when they had to play during the titanic sank, during two hours with cheery music to calm people around us. The sank was their worst fear. They died to calm the atmosphere. There was a permanent feeling of fear but they had to show no emotions but calmness. They kept their self-control. They notwithstanding finished the hero cycle even if they died because, survivors made them existing and living throughout years with histories by word of mouths or by the press.
In films of Roy Ward Baker in 1953 and James Cameron in 1997, the scene where musicians played music during the sank is present in both. Paul Louden-Brown, worked as a consultant on James Cameron's film. He says that the musician scene in the film A Night To Remember was so beautifully crafted that Cameron decided to repeat it in his film. James Cameron said 'I stole that entirely and put that into my film, because I loved it, it was such a strong part of the story.' It shows that the scene became mythical and it was so powerful that it had to be on the film of James Cameron. The musicians were first and foremost humans and that is why they can be considered heroes. They preferred to let others before themselves be saved.
We can clearly say that the musicians of the Titanic are heroes thanks to their acts of courage, humanity and determination. I think that not everybody would die for this kind of cause. They were brave and they had all the qualities of a hero. They are also a myth because their story do not stop to be told through generations, and even today we talk about this story, with the article published in 2012 and the James Cameron's film released in 1997.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 23-05-2015 20:21
Réponse: Oral/Myths and heroes de here4u, postée le 23-05-2015 à 21:21:13 (S | E)
Hello !
blue = wrong
green = suggestion
underlined = clumsy
XXX missing elements
A myth is a story that may or may not be true. There may not be proofS that they happened, but at least some parts of myths may be true. Some myths may have started as ‘true’ stories but as people re-told them some parts may have been changed by mistake. And a hero is a person with good values who is admired for his courage or achievements. It can be a superhero, a character from a book or a film. But it can also be a modern-day hero, simply our own personal hero, our role model, who we look up to or a person who has performed a heroic act. As well as the Music Band of the Titanic the night the boat sank(this sentence isn't correctly built!). We can wonder, what made musicians of the Titanic heroes? The documents I will use, are « The Heroic Musicians Of The Titanic », a video “what makes a hero?” and representations of the band on 2 films.
The article talks about the Titanic's wreck. It mostly deals with the musicians, persons we did not think about. But they were really important. Every night they played for all the classes of passengerS, everyone appreciated XX because they played various musics. At midnight, when the ship started to sink, the band continued to play for more than two hours, then the band leader dismissed his band and continue to play alone for the passengers. The video about “what makes a hero?” reveals that all the heroes we know have the same “hero cycle”. The quest of heroes passes through a special world. If we look closer, the acts of musicians followed this hero cycle and its keys events. The departure key represents the moment when they began their journey aboard the Titanic. The crisis key is when they had to play during the titanic sank, during two hours with cheery music to calm people around us. The sank was their worst fear. They died to calm the atmosphere. There was a permanent feeling of fear but they had to show no emotions but calmness. They kept their self-control. They notwithstanding finished(word order) the hero cycle even if they died because??? (doesn't make sense!), survivors made them existing and living throughout years with histories by word of mouths or by the press.
In XXX films of Roy Ward Baker in 1953 and James Cameron in 1997, the scene where musicians played music during the sank is present in both. Paul Louden-Brown, worked as a consultant on James Cameron's film. He says that the musician scene in the film A Night To Remember was so beautifully crafted that Cameron decided to repeat it in his film. James Cameron said 'I stole that entirely and put that into my film, because I loved it, it was such a strong part of the story.' It shows that the scene became mythical and it was so powerful that it had to be on the film of James Cameron. The musicians were first and foremost humans XXXXXX and that is why they can be considered XX heroes. They preferred to let others before themselves be saved. (word order)
We can clearly say that the musicians of the Titanic are heroes thanks to their acts of courage, humanity and determination. I think that not everybody would die for this kind of cause. They were brave and they had all the qualities of a hero. They are also a myth because their story do not stop to be told through generations, and even today we talk about this story, with the article published in 2012 and the James Cameron's film released in 1997.
Hope it will help !
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