Correction /crime story
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Message de coco12 posté le 23-04-2015 à 14:16:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ,
je vous présente le début de ma "crime story" qui n'est d(ailleurs pas finie.
J'aimerais que vous m'aidiez à corrriger les quelques fautes que j'ai peutétremis en l' faites en écrivant.
I was sitting on a bench when I remembered what happpened last year...I will tell you the story..
I was in the school's bus to come back home, i was joking and make fun with my friends. It was a good moment but when I got off the bus , i realized that one of my friends was not here! Who was it? It was Taylor. Where was it? What did he was doing...? Tylor never was absent for school. I was so stressed. So i decided to go to Taylor's house. Once arriving in front of the door of the house, i hesitated between ring or leave from here. I took my courage in both hands and rung at the door. Nobody heard me, nobody opened the door and nobody was here. I was so ridiculous! So I took the key under the mat and entered. It was like a desert in the first and second floor but in the third floor, something really special happened. The only window was broken, there was fresh blood on the carpet and some borrows of muddy shoes. I felt so afraid so i decided to call at the police! The police told me that i should keep calm. But when someone see a lot of blood in a house, he can't keep calm! Well, i told them what there in this mysterious house.
Fifteen minutes later, the detective arrived, it was the first time that i saw a detective as close! For me a detective looked like Shelock Holmes! Every detectives had to wear a long coat with a little hat and had to smoke with a cigar. And all detective had to be a man!But it was no that. First it was a woman, she didn't wearing a long coat and she couldn't stand smoke.
After have doing the tour of the house,she walkes around me to ask me some question like ««Who is taylor for you? Is taylor your best friend? Do you know Taylor's parent? Have Taylor got a girlfriend?...» I didn't know where to begin, I had sweaty palms, my heart was beating so hard and all my body was shaking a little...
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 23-04-2015 14:31
Message de coco12 posté le 23-04-2015 à 14:16:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour ,
je vous présente le début de ma "crime story" qui n'est d(ailleurs pas finie.
J'aimerais que vous m'aidiez à corrriger les quelques fautes que j'ai peutétre
I was sitting on a bench when I remembered what happpened last year...I will tell you the story..
I was in the school's bus to come back home, i was joking and make fun with my friends. It was a good moment but when I got off the bus , i realized that one of my friends was not here! Who was it? It was Taylor. Where was it? What did he was doing...? Tylor never was absent for school. I was so stressed. So i decided to go to Taylor's house. Once arriving in front of the door of the house, i hesitated between ring or leave from here. I took my courage in both hands and rung at the door. Nobody heard me, nobody opened the door and nobody was here. I was so ridiculous! So I took the key under the mat and entered. It was like a desert in the first and second floor but in the third floor, something really special happened. The only window was broken, there was fresh blood on the carpet and some borrows of muddy shoes. I felt so afraid so i decided to call at the police! The police told me that i should keep calm. But when someone see a lot of blood in a house, he can't keep calm! Well, i told them what there in this mysterious house.
Fifteen minutes later, the detective arrived, it was the first time that i saw a detective as close! For me a detective looked like Shelock Holmes! Every detectives had to wear a long coat with a little hat and had to smoke with a cigar. And all detective had to be a man!But it was no that. First it was a woman, she didn't wearing a long coat and she couldn't stand smoke.
After have doing the tour of the house,she walkes around me to ask me some question like ««Who is taylor for you? Is taylor your best friend? Do you know Taylor's parent? Have Taylor got a girlfriend?...» I didn't know where to begin, I had sweaty palms, my heart was beating so hard and all my body was shaking a little...
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 23-04-2015 14:31
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