Scénario /Ellis Island
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Message de charlottecrop posté le 08-02-2015 à 12:33:35 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai un scénario à faire avec mes amies sur Ellis Island et la Statue de la Liberté! Il y a trois guides et deux visiteurs! Je pense qu'il y a beaucoup de fautes donc pourrais-je avoir une correction s'il vous plait?.. Merci beaucoup d'avance!!
-Welcome in Ellis Island !
-Nice to meet you, we are your guides for all the afternoon. My name is Alice and I’m Aude.
-I don’t know if you know it but Ellis Island is a symbol of America.
-Ok, nice to meet you! Personally, my grand mother went to Ellis Island in 1930 and she told me a lot of stories about her trip and I’m very curious to learn more about that !
-I’m an exchange student, and I want to visit this emblematics places, so it’s why, I’m here !
-So, first, we are going to start about the discovery of Ellis Island! Come on !
-So here, we are in front of the museum entrance. This is here where all is began, in 1892 January. In fact, after their hard long trip in a ship. Ellis Island was the first stape for immigrants’s new life in America.
-Why did they go through Ellis Island ?
-I think it’s because they select new arrivals.
-Yes, in a way but there was also medical exams and legal inspection for travelers.
-And then, what happened ?
-they came to the USA or they come back in their original country. Indeed, only a small numer of detened immigrants passed through Ellis Island.
-Where were they from ?
-People’s origins were Germany, British, Irish, Italians, Chinese and South of Europe. They left their country to escape from instable homelands, famine or economical opportunities.
-Indeed, they wanted to have a better life. They was attracted by the “American way of life”
-What are many obstacles, which they are met?
-The obstacles are different, there was contagious diseases, discrimination and their goal is to enter in America for have a new better life.
-Just a few words to thank you. In fact, be here it’s a good thing for the remembrance duty.
-It was the occasion to remember the hardship trip endure by the immigrants. So thank you for that. Nextly, we can do the Statue of liberty visit, are you ok ? You will visit this place with a new guide. Bye! See you later!
-Yeah of course !
-Hello girls! I’m Carolane, I’m your new guide!
-Hello!
-We are in front of the Statue of Liberty. This Statue was designed by Gustave Eiffel in 1879 in France.
-How she arrived in New-York ?
-Statue is dismantled and shipped by French and has been assembled in New-York on 1886.
-And why she was given to USA.
-The Statue of Liberty was a gift of friendship from the people of France to the USA and she is reconized as a universal symbol of freedom and democraty. Now, the statue of liberty is the tallest statue in the world. Indeed she’s considered like enormous statue.
-And, was she aimed on September 11th by the terrorist ?
-No but she was closed for security! Have you got any others questions?
-No, but can we visit this emblematic place?
-Yes of course! I come with you for take photos and discover the landscape!
-What did you think about the visit ?
-I preferred Ellis Island because it was really touching, it’s an important part of the America story, and it’s very interessant to know the history. It’s a place that has upset the lives of millions of people’s.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 08-02-2015 14:54
Message de charlottecrop posté le 08-02-2015 à 12:33:35 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
J'ai un scénario à faire avec mes amies sur Ellis Island et la Statue de la Liberté! Il y a trois guides et deux visiteurs! Je pense qu'il y a beaucoup de fautes donc pourrais-je avoir une correction s'il vous plait?.. Merci beaucoup d'avance!!
-Welcome in Ellis Island !
-Nice to meet you, we are your guides for all the afternoon. My name is Alice and I’m Aude.
-I don’t know if you know it but Ellis Island is a symbol of America.
-Ok, nice to meet you! Personally, my grand mother went to Ellis Island in 1930 and she told me a lot of stories about her trip and I’m very curious to learn more about that !
-I’m an exchange student, and I want to visit this emblematics places, so it’s why, I’m here !
-So, first, we are going to start about the discovery of Ellis Island! Come on !
-So here, we are in front of the museum entrance. This is here where all is began, in 1892 January. In fact, after their hard long trip in a ship. Ellis Island was the first stape for immigrants’s new life in America.
-Why did they go through Ellis Island ?
-I think it’s because they select new arrivals.
-Yes, in a way but there was also medical exams and legal inspection for travelers.
-And then, what happened ?
-they came to the USA or they come back in their original country. Indeed, only a small numer of detened immigrants passed through Ellis Island.
-Where were they from ?
-People’s origins were Germany, British, Irish, Italians, Chinese and South of Europe. They left their country to escape from instable homelands, famine or economical opportunities.
-Indeed, they wanted to have a better life. They was attracted by the “American way of life”
-What are many obstacles, which they are met?
-The obstacles are different, there was contagious diseases, discrimination and their goal is to enter in America for have a new better life.
-Just a few words to thank you. In fact, be here it’s a good thing for the remembrance duty.
-It was the occasion to remember the hardship trip endure by the immigrants. So thank you for that. Nextly, we can do the Statue of liberty visit, are you ok ? You will visit this place with a new guide. Bye! See you later!
-Yeah of course !
-Hello girls! I’m Carolane, I’m your new guide!
-Hello!
-We are in front of the Statue of Liberty. This Statue was designed by Gustave Eiffel in 1879 in France.
-How she arrived in New-York ?
-Statue is dismantled and shipped by French and has been assembled in New-York on 1886.
-And why she was given to USA.
-The Statue of Liberty was a gift of friendship from the people of France to the USA and she is reconized as a universal symbol of freedom and democraty. Now, the statue of liberty is the tallest statue in the world. Indeed she’s considered like enormous statue.
-And, was she aimed on September 11th by the terrorist ?
-No but she was closed for security! Have you got any others questions?
-No, but can we visit this emblematic place?
-Yes of course! I come with you for take photos and discover the landscape!
-What did you think about the visit ?
-I preferred Ellis Island because it was really touching, it’s an important part of the America story, and it’s very interessant to know the history. It’s a place that has upset the lives of millions of people’s.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 08-02-2015 14:54
Réponse: Scénario /Ellis Island de mariehiv, postée le 09-02-2015 à 11:21:27 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici la correction que je propose :
-Welcome in Ellis Island !
-Nice to meet you, we are your guides for all the afternoon. My name is Alice and I’m Aude.
-I don’t know if you know it but Ellis Island is a symbol of America.
-Ok, nice to meet you! Personally, my grand mother went to Ellis Island in 1930 and she told me a lot of stories about her trip and I’m very curious to learn more about that !
-I’m an exchange student, and I want to visit this emblematics places, so it’s why, I’m here !
-So, first, we are going to start
the discovery of Ellis Island! Come on !-So here, we are in front of the museum entrance. This is
where all began, in . In fact, after their hard long trip in a ship. Ellis Island was the first in America.-Why did they go through Ellis Island ?
-I think it’s because they select new arrivals.
-Yes, in a way but there was also medical exams and legal inspection for travelers.
-And then, what happened ?
-they came to the USA or they
back their original country. Indeed, only a small number of immigrants passed through Ellis Island.-Where were they from ?
-
were German, British, Irish, Italian, Chinese South of Europe. They left their country to escape from instable homelands, famine or for economical opportunities.-Indeed, they wanted to have a better life. They
attracted by the “American way of life”-What are many obstacles,
they met?-The obstacles
, there was contagious diseases, discrimination and their goal to enter in America have a new better life.-Just a few words to thank you. In fact,
it’s a good thing to be here for the remembrance duty.-It was the occasion to remember the hardship
endured by the immigrants durng the trip. So thank you for that. , we can the Statue of liberty ? You will visit this place with a new guide. -Yeah of course !
-Bye then, See you later!
-Hello girls! I’m Carolane, I’m your new guide!
-Hello!
-We are in front of the Statue of Liberty. This Statue was designed by- Auguste Bartholdy with the help of
- Gustave Eiffel in 1879 in France.-How
arrive in New-York ? (he/she -> people / it -> objects)-The
Statue French and -And why
given to USA. (dans une question on inverse toujours verbe et sujet) -The Statue of Liberty was a gift of friendship from the people of France to the USA and
-And, was
aimed on September 11th by the terrorist ?-No but
was closed for security! Have you got any other-No, but can we visit this emblematic place?
-Yes of course! I'll
come with you take photos and discover the landscape!-What did you think about the visit ?
-I preferred Ellis Island because it was really touching, it’s an important part of the American
, and it’s very . It’s a place that has upset the lives of millions of people. Bon,il y a quand même beaucoup de fautes qui auraient pu être évitées avec un peu plus d'attention.
Notamment la distinction he,she/it ou la concordance des temps. Passé ou présent, il faut faire un choix.
J’espère avoir pu aider,
Bonne journée !
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