Fun/ Writing
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Message from leo72 posted on 06-02-2015 at 16:22:35 (D | E | F)
Hello,
Could you help me with the correction of my text below please?
Thank you for any reply.
This is a task to make writing fun, and spur the horses of creativity. It could also be used to practice oral expression. Do it and have fun!
You are a suspect in a murder case, and a police officer is asking you questions to know where you were at the time of the crime. The police officer does not seem to be quite convinced you are not guilty, so you have to tell your alibi, and give strong reasons to prove you had nothing to do with the crime.
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Edited by lucile83 on 06-02-2015 18:46
Message from leo72 posted on 06-02-2015 at 16:22:35 (D | E | F)
Hello,
Could you help me with the correction of my text below please?
Thank you for any reply.
This is a task to make writing fun, and spur the horses of creativity. It could also be used to practice oral expression. Do it and have fun!
You are a suspect in a murder case, and a police officer is asking you questions to know where you were at the time of the crime. The police officer does not seem to be quite convinced you are not guilty, so you have to tell your alibi, and give strong reasons to prove you had nothing to do with the crime.
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Edited by lucile83 on 06-02-2015 18:46
Re: Fun/ Writing from stammer, posted on 17-02-2015 at 18:13:21 (D | E)
Hello,
Please see the notes that correspond to a green number.
"This is a task to make writing fun, and spur the horses of creativity (1) . It could also be used to practice (2)oral expression. Do it and have fun!
You are a suspect in a murder case, and a police officer is asking you questions to know where you were at the time of the crime. The police officer does not seem to be quite convinced you are not guilty, so you have to tell your alibi (3), and give strong reasons to prove you had nothing to do with the crime."
(1) This is correct, but I would personally say "and to spur the horses...".
(2) This is fine in American English, but in British English we use "practise" as a verb and "practice" as a noun.
(3) An alibi is a person that can corroborate your whereabouts at a certain time, and one "gives an alibi". If you mean to say "version of events", you will have to find a different word - I would say "so you have to tell your side of the story".
Just a a general point, the "burden of proof" rests on the police to prove a person's guilt, not on a suspect to prove their innocence. This is, of course, not terribly important if you're creating a writing exercise, but it's handy to know as it's very important in US/UK legal systems.
Apart from this I thought the piece was well written, and my corrections are largely stylistic.
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