Correction/life before her eyes
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Message de kamillouka posté le 24-01-2015 à 12:46:47 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
pour un devoir d'anglais j'ai dû rédiger un petit texte en anglais. Mais il doit y avoir des fautes d'orthographe. Si vous vouliez bien les corriger et expliquer s'il vous plait...
Merci pour votre aide.
The document under study is an extract from the novel The life before her eyes by Laura Kasischke.
This is testimony for the police to survivor girl : I was brushing hair with Kendall ( my friend ) in the girls’ room. Suddenly i heard a shot. Fristly Kendall and me didn’t react and hearing the noise again. We have to start stressied and panic. Kendall saying that the shooter, the day before yesterday Michael Patrick he tell going to bring a gun to school.
On the other side of the door the girls’ room a man desperate asking for help. Then Michael Patrick opens the door slowly, he says « Hey », He’s holding a big gun with both hands, but pointing nothing. He was not physically presentable. He says «Which one of you girls should I kill ? » . I stars panic-stricken and cry. Kendall was terrified. Mickael get closer to kendall and fire in yout head. He says « why didn’t you want to come out with me ? ». I figured out why he could had kill kendall. I start run to exit. One fire gun stop him, i’ve turn around. He committed suicide. I call police and fireman.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 24-01-2015 14:13
Message de kamillouka posté le 24-01-2015 à 12:46:47 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
pour un devoir d'anglais j'ai dû rédiger un petit texte en anglais. Mais il doit y avoir des fautes d'orthographe. Si vous vouliez bien les corriger et expliquer s'il vous plait...
Merci pour votre aide.
The document under study is an extract from the novel The life before her eyes by Laura Kasischke.
This is testimony for the police to survivor girl : I was brushing hair with Kendall ( my friend ) in the girls’ room. Suddenly i heard a shot. Fristly Kendall and me didn’t react and hearing the noise again. We have to start stressied and panic. Kendall saying that the shooter, the day before yesterday Michael Patrick he tell going to bring a gun to school.
On the other side of the door the girls’ room a man desperate asking for help. Then Michael Patrick opens the door slowly, he says « Hey », He’s holding a big gun with both hands, but pointing nothing. He was not physically presentable. He says «Which one of you girls should I kill ? » . I stars panic-stricken and cry. Kendall was terrified. Mickael get closer to kendall and fire in yout head. He says « why didn’t you want to come out with me ? ». I figured out why he could had kill kendall. I start run to exit. One fire gun stop him, i’ve turn around. He committed suicide. I call police and fireman.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 24-01-2015 14:13
Réponse: Correction/life before her eyes de jiminbrooklyn, postée le 24-01-2015 à 22:47:58 (S | E)
This is definitely understandable. But there are some conjugation and other kinds of errors. I've highlighted them in blue:
This is testimony for the police to survivor girl : I was brushing hair with Kendall ( my friend ) in the girls’ room. Suddenly i heard a shot. Fristly Kendall and me didn’t react and hearing the noise again. We have to start stressied and panic. Kendall saying that the shooter, the day before yesterday Michael Patrick he tell going to bring a gun to school.
On the other side of the door the girls’ room a man desperate asking for help. Then Michael Patrick opens the door slowly, he says « Hey », He’s holding a big gun with both hands, but pointing nothing. He was not physically presentable. He says «Which one of you girls should I kill ? » . I stars panic-stricken and cry. Kendall was terrified. Mickael get closer to kendall and fire in yout head. He says « why didn’t you want to come out with me ? ». I figured out why he could had kill kendall. I start run to exit. One fire gun stop him, i’ve turn around. He committed suicide. I call police and fireman.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 25-01-2015 07:41
Pas de rouge/rose sur le forum, merci.
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