Aide/Gaz de schiste
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En basMessage de macx posté le 14-01-2015 à 19:10:03 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai de sérieux problèmes en anglais donc je me permets de vous demander de l'aide.
Je vous explique la situation, j'ai eu à faire un développement sur un sujet controversé en anglais à la forme passive entre 250 et 300 mots. J'ai reçu le résultat ce matin et les plus grandes fautes sont : La forme passive et un document trop confus. Cependant, mon professeur nous permet de nous rattraper (si l'on souhaite) en le refaisant sur un nouveau sujet à rendre pour mardi dernier délai.
Je viens de finir mon second essai mais je me doute qu'il est bourré de fautes et cette fois ci je ne me suis pas risqué à la forme passive.
Ce que je souhaiterais ce serait une aide sur la syntaxe, la grammaire et la voix passive, bien expliqué car je veux comprendre ce que je fais pour éviter de refaire les mêmes erreurs par la suite.
Voici ce que je viens de réaliser.
Merci d'avance pour votre aide !
PS: j'ai déjà regardé ce qui était fait sur la forme passive sur le site pour mon 1er essai.
Shale gas in France
Actually, forbidden in France. Shale gas is natural gas contained in a permeable rock. To extract this gas, it need to use an expensive combination of technology of deep drilling and in hydraulic fracturing.
First, shale gas is an important resource estimed in France. It is really exploited in 2000 for economics reasons with increase price of natural gas and technology progress who improved efficiency and profitability. And permit to economic development in some regions.
Furthermore, the moral issue is significant because generally, developed countries polluted and used resources of developing countries resources. Thus it was more ethical than industrial countries used their natural resources with the disadvantages this entails.
Nevertheless, the extraction in France sparks emotion due to environmental issue. Indeed, this technique allowed to fracture the rock with an injection of a mixture of water and solvent. And leaks of gas were observed, these leaks came up from surface and air became harmful.
Moreover, it was need an enormous consumption of water. In United State of America, many cases like dead cows for farmer because lac water was polluted by gas leak. The infiltration into groundwater was a health problem because people has got gas to their tab and it is very dangerous.
Finally, a new technical of extraction, the exothermic extraction was cleaner than hydraulic fracturing. This technic used helium liquid to be transform, with earth heat, in gas and fracture rock without solvent.
To conclude, it is an industrial activity with a benefic process for economy but main constraint is ecological and very alarming but if several process more environmentally friendly was found, interest for shale gas wasn’t excluded.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 14-01-2015 19:13
Réponse: Aide/Gaz de schiste de jiminbrooklyn, postée le 15-01-2015 à 04:10:08 (S | E)
Hello,
Going line by line through the first half:
"Actually, forbidden in France. Shale gas is natural gas contained in a permeable rock. To extract this gas, it need to use an expensive combination of technology of deep drilling and in hydraulic fracturing."
This is subtle, but I find that "actuellement" (en français) is usually "currently" (in English). (In English, "actually" draws a contrast with one's expecations, points out a surprise, corrects a fact, etc. "Current" is just an objective statement of what *is*, at present.) More importantly, ""Actually, forbidden in France" is not a complete sentence. You probably mean "It is currently forbidden in France". Instead of "To extract this gas, it need to", I would say "..., one needs to use" or "..., it is necessary to use"
"First, shale gas is an important resource estimed in France. It is really exploited in 2000 for economics reasons with increase price of natural gas and technology progress who improved efficiency and profitability. And permit to economic development in some regions."
Use "estimated" (implying an approximation) instead of "estimed". I'm not sure what you mean by "It is really exploited in 2000 ...". Do you mean the year 2000? If so, you probably want past tense, like "it was really exploited in 2000" or "it began to be heavily exploited starting in 2000". Also "And permit to economic development in some regions." is not grammatical. Do you mean" and it is permitted in some regions, for economic development"?
(Some more errors in the second half, but I'm running short on time.)
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Modifié par lucile83 le 15-01-2015 09:22
mp envoyé
Réponse: Aide/Gaz de schiste de lucile83, postée le 15-01-2015 à 12:30:40 (S | E)
Hello,
Erreurs en bleu
Actually, forbidden in France. Shale gas is natural gas contained in a permeable rock. To extract this gas, it need to use an expensive combination of technology of deep drilling and in hydraulic fracturing.
First, shale gas is an important resource estimed in France. It is really exploited in 2000 for economics reasons with increase price of natural gas and technology progress who improved efficiency and profitability. And permit to economic development in some regions.
Furthermore, the moral issue is significant because generally, developed countries polluted and used resources of developing countries resources. Thus it was more ethical than industrial countries used their natural resources with the disadvantages this entails. trop de répétitions
à suivre...
Réponse: Aide/Gaz de schiste de macx, postée le 15-01-2015 à 15:25:41 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Pour commencer, merci de m'avoir répondu rapidement et d'avoir consacré du temps à mon souci.
Bleu => Ce qui a été corrigé
Vert => Une suggestion de ma part
Pour jiminbrooklyn (j'ai vu que tu cherchais a apprendre le français donc je vais te répondre également en Français ), merci pour ces explications sur la langue anglaise par rapport à la différence entre "actually" et "currently". Pour le "First", je voulais dire que le gaz de schiste a été exploité en masse à partir de l'année 2000 et pour le " and it is permitted in some regions, for economic development", je veux dire "Et cela permet le développement économique de certaines régions".
Pour lucile83, merci de m'avoir ciblé mes erreurs mais j'ai quelques questions. Je ne vois pas du tout l'erreur sur "France" en début de paragraphe et je ne comprends pas. Merci pour la remarque sur la répétition, je m'en doutais aussi, j'ai essayé de changer quelques mots pour ne pas supprimer complétement la dérnière phrase mais si c'est toujours trop "lourd" je le ferai.
It is currently forbidden in France. The shale gas is natural gas contained in a permeable rock. To extract this gas, it is necessary to use an expensive combination of technology of deep drilling and in hydraulic fracturing.
First, shale gas is an important resource estimated in France. it began to be heavily exploited starting in 2000 for economics reasons with the raised of natural gas price and technology progress that improved efficiency and profitable. And this permited the economic development of some regions.
Furthermore, the moral issue is significant because generally, developed countries polluted and used resources of developing countries resources. Thus it was more ethical than they used their richness with the disadvantages this entails.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 15-01-2015 21:55
Réponse: Aide/Gaz de schiste de lucile83, postée le 15-01-2015 à 22:04:35 (S | E)
Hello,
It is currently forbidden in France. The shale gas is ... natural gas contained in a permeable rock. To extract this gas, it is necessary to use an expensive combination of technology of deep drilling and
First, shale gas is an important resource estimated in France. it began to be heavily exploited starting in 2000 for economics reasons with the raised of natural gas price and technology progress that improved efficiency and profitable. And this permited the economic development of some regions.
Furthermore, the moral issue is significant because generally, developed countries polluted and used resources of developing countries resources. Thus it was more ethical than they used their richness with the disadvantages this entails.
Vous aviez écrit ...forbidden in France. Shale gas is ...ce qui ne constitue pas une phrase bien construite.Vous avez rectifié ici.
Réponse: Aide/Gaz de schiste de macx, postée le 16-01-2015 à 20:45:43 (S | E)
It is currently forbidden in France. The shale gas is a natural gas contained in a permeable rock. To extract this gas, it is necessary to use an expensive combination of technology of deep drilling and in hydraulic fracturing.
First, shale gas is an important estimated resource in France. It began to be heavily exploited start in 2000 for economic reasons with the increasing of natural gas price and technology progress that improved efficiency and profitable. And this permited the economic development of some regions.
Furthermore, the moral issue is significant because generally, developed countries polluted and used resources of developing countries resources. Thus it was more ethical than they used their richness with the disadvantages this entails.
Juste quelques questions, pourquoi starting ne convient pas ? Et le mot "economic" est un des mots qui ne prend pas de "s"?
Réponse: Aide/Gaz de schiste de lucile83, postée le 16-01-2015 à 22:32:13 (S | E)
Hello,
It is currently forbidden in France. The shale gas is a natural gas contained in a permeable rock. To extract this gas, it is necessary to use an expensive combination of technology of deep drilling and
First, shale gas is an important estimated resource in France. It began to be heavily exploited start in 2000 for economic reasons with the increasing of natural gas price and technology progress that improved efficiency and profitable. And this permited the economic development of some regions.
Furthermore, the moral issue is significant because generally, developed countries polluted and used resources of developing countries resources. Thus it was more ethical than they used their richness with the disadvantages this entails.
pourquoi starting ne convient pas ? Et le mot "economic" est un des mots qui ne prend pas de "s"?
...vous employez 'began' ça suffit; it began/it started in 2000.
...economic est un adjectif, donc invariable.
Il reste des fautes car vous ne corrigez pas tout ce qui est signalé.
- increasing est un verbe, il faut le nom
-profitable est un adjectif, il faut le nom
Réponse: Aide/Gaz de schiste de macx, postée le 16-01-2015 à 23:25:08 (S | E)
Oui je sais que tout n'est pas corrigé mais je ne sais pas forcément sur quelle branche m'orienter.
Enfin, j'espère que c'est bon pour "increase" et "profit". Je comprends mieux le pourquoi du "the" avant le increase, j'avais compris que c'était un problème de temps la première fois mais c'est clair, merci.
Et pour "permited", j'ai sous-entendu un problème de temps, le past perfect convient mieux je suppose.
It is currently forbidden in France. The shale gas is a natural gas contained in a permeable rock. To extract this gas, it is necessary to use an expensive combination of technology of deep drilling and hydraulic fracturing.
First, shale gas is an important estimated resource in France. It began to be heavily exploited to start in 2000 for economic reasons with the increase of natural gas price and technology progress that improved efficiency and profit. And this had permited the economic development of some regions.
Furthermore, the moral issue is significant because generally, developed countries polluted and used resources of developing countries resources. Thus it was more ethical than they used their richness with the disadvantages this entails.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 16-01-2015 23:29
Réponse: Aide/Gaz de schiste de lucile83, postée le 16-01-2015 à 23:41:33 (S | E)
Hello,
Too bad! il fallait corriger la faute d'orthographe et écrire permitted avec 2 't', le prétérit est ok. J'ai laissé en bleu par conséquent, je vous laisse corriger.
+ vous avez laissé le mot 'start'; il est inutile puisque vous avez 'began'. Je l'ai barré.
Sinon c'est ok
It is currently forbidden in France. The shale gas is a natural gas contained in a permeable rock. To extract this gas, it is necessary to use an expensive combination of technology of deep drilling and hydraulic fracturing.
First, shale gas is an important estimated resource in France. It began to be heavily exploited
Furthermore, the moral issue is significant because generally, developed countries polluted and used resources of developing countries resources. Thus it was more ethical than they used their richness with the disadvantages this entails.
Réponse: Aide/Gaz de schiste de macx, postée le 17-01-2015 à 08:24:25 (S | E)
Ah mince, excusez-moi vu que c'était un verbe, j'ai supposé, à tort, que c'était un problème de temps.
It is currently forbidden in France. The shale gas is a natural gas contained in a permeable rock. To extract this gas, it is necessary to use an expensive combination of technology of deep drilling and hydraulic fracturing.
First, shale gas is an important estimated resource in France. It began to be heavily exploited in 2000 for economic reasons with the increase of natural gas price and technology progress that improved efficiency and profit. And this permitted the economic development of some regions.
Furthermore, the moral issue is significant because generally, developed countries polluted and used resources of developing countries resources. Thus it was more ethical than they used their richness with the disadvantages this entails.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 17-01-2015 17:18
Réponse: Aide/Gaz de schiste de lucile83, postée le 17-01-2015 à 17:21:41 (S | E)
Good job!
Réponse: Aide/Gaz de schiste de macx, postée le 18-01-2015 à 17:29:22 (S | E)
J'ai tenté de continuer et voila les changements :
Vert => inverser
The shale gas is currently forbidden in France. It is a natural gas contained in a permeable rock. To extract this gas, it is necessary to use an expensive combination of technology of deep drilling and hydraulic fracturing.
First, shale gas is an important estimated resource in France. It began to be heavily exploited in 2000 for economic reasons with the increase of natural gas price and technology progress that improved efficiency and profit. And this permitted the economic development of some regions.
Furthermore, the moral issue is significant because generally, developed countries polluted and used resources of developing countries
Nevertheless, the extraction in France sparks emotion due to environmental issue. Indeed, this technique allowed to fracture the rock with an injection of a mixture of water and solvent. And leaks of gas were observed, these leaks came up to the surface and the air became harmful.
Moreover, it is needed an enormous consumption of water. In the United States of America, many cases like dead cows to farmer because lac
Finally, a new technique of extraction, the exothermic extraction is cleaner than hydraulic fracturing. This skill use liquid helium which is transformed, with earth heat, into gas and fractures the rock without solvent.
To conclude, it is an industrial activity with a benefic process for economy and it is very alarming to ecology but if several processes more eco-aware were found, interest for shale gas would be excluded.
-------------------
Modifié par macx le 18-01-2015 17:31
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais