Correction/nouvelle invention
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Message de snoop34 posté le 11-01-2015 à 15:29:06 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je suis en classe de seconde, et j'aimerais que vous corrigiez mon expression écrite d'anglais que j'ai faite s'il vous plait.
Merci d'avance.
Je dois présenter une nouvelle invention que je pense serait utile pour plein de personnes. Je dois rédiger un rapport expliquant les aspects.
I'm going to present you an object which I think will be very usefull, notably for the young who has a smartphone of different brands, but êven for adults or old person. Do you have enough of not having battery after a few hours? Do you have the impress that you past more time to recharge your phone than using it? I'd like to present you a solair phone charger, it means it will recharge it-self anywhere. There are somes in the market but they are too big to transport it's not very handy. What I propose to you it is barely the size of half phone, you just avec to hook up like a normal charger and that's it. This idea came to me because I think that I'm in the same case of a lot of people, and ussualy i'm out of battery, I can't even use it for an emergency, or to settle my bussiness problems when I'm moving somewhere. I really thing that it will be handfull because every type of person have a cell-phone and now we don't use it only for call or send message text but to do more. Like play somes games when we wait the bus, use it like a GPS when we are lost, do some research on Internet when we are not at home... As a result it use a lot of batteri. It will be expensive now, like everything when it's new but you won't regret buying it. But I'm doing my best to find a way to reduce te price, I hope soon it would become cheaper. For the moment, it cost two thousand euros to product one. But people will save more money when the electricity bill will become smarter.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 11-01-2015 16:31
Message de snoop34 posté le 11-01-2015 à 15:29:06 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je suis en classe de seconde, et j'aimerais que vous corrigiez mon expression écrite d'anglais que j'ai faite s'il vous plait.
Merci d'avance.
Je dois présenter une nouvelle invention que je pense serait utile pour plein de personnes. Je dois rédiger un rapport expliquant les aspects.
I'm going to present you an object which I think will be very usefull, notably for the young who has a smartphone of different brands, but êven for adults or old person. Do you have enough of not having battery after a few hours? Do you have the impress that you past more time to recharge your phone than using it? I'd like to present you a solair phone charger, it means it will recharge it-self anywhere. There are somes in the market but they are too big to transport it's not very handy. What I propose to you it is barely the size of half phone, you just avec to hook up like a normal charger and that's it. This idea came to me because I think that I'm in the same case of a lot of people, and ussualy i'm out of battery, I can't even use it for an emergency, or to settle my bussiness problems when I'm moving somewhere. I really thing that it will be handfull because every type of person have a cell-phone and now we don't use it only for call or send message text but to do more. Like play somes games when we wait the bus, use it like a GPS when we are lost, do some research on Internet when we are not at home... As a result it use a lot of batteri. It will be expensive now, like everything when it's new but you won't regret buying it. But I'm doing my best to find a way to reduce te price, I hope soon it would become cheaper. For the moment, it cost two thousand euros to product one. But people will save more money when the electricity bill will become smarter.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 11-01-2015 16:31
Réponse: Correction/nouvelle invention de yaya18, postée le 11-01-2015 à 18:04:33 (S | E)
Hello snoop34
I'm going to present you an object which I think will be very usefull (orthographe), notably for the young (Tu parles d'une généralité et non d'une personne précise) who has a smartphone of different brands, but êven (Erreur de frappe ?) for adults or old person (pluriel). Do you have enough of not having battery after a few hours? Do you have the impress that you past more time to recharge your phone than using it? I'd like to present you a solair (orthographe) phone charger, it means it will recharge it-self anywhere. There are somes (Utilise "some of them") in the market but they are too big to transport it's not very handy. What I propose to you it is barely the size of half phone, you just avec (Une autre erreur de frappe ?) to hook up like a normal charger and that's it. This idea came to me because I think that I'm in the same case of a lot of people, and ussualy (orthographe) i (Majuscule !
)'m out of battery, I can't even use it for an emergency, or to settle my bussiness problems when I'm moving somewhere. I really thing that it will be handfull because every type of person have a cell-phone and now we don't use it only for call or send message text but to do more. Like play somes games when we wait the bus, use it like a GPS when we are lost, do some research on Internet when we are not at home... As a result it use a lot of batteri (La terminaison est fausse). It will be expensive now, like everything when it's new but you won't regret buying it. But I'm doing my best to find a way to reduce te (Je pense que tu voulais écrire "the") price, I hope soon it would become cheaper. For the moment, it cost two thousand euros to product one. But people will save more money when the electricity bill will become smarter.J'espère avoir pu t'éclairer
See you soon ;)
Réponse: Correction/nouvelle invention de here4u, postée le 11-01-2015 à 19:05:38 (S | E)
Hello !
A few more ...
I'm going to present you an object which I think will be very usefull, notably for the young who has a smartphone of different brands, but êven for adults or old person. Do you have enough of not having XXX battery XXXX after a few hours? Do you have the impress that you past more time to recharge your phone than using it? I'd like to present you a solair phone charger, it means it will recharge it-self anywhere. There are somes in the market but they are too big to transport(boff!) it's not very handy. What I propose to you it is barely the size of half phone, you just avec to hook up like a normal charger and that's it. This idea came to me because I think that I'm in the same case of a lot of people, and ussualy i'm out of battery, I can't even use it for an emergency, or to settle my bussiness problems when I'm moving somewhere. I really thing that it will be handfull because every type of person have a cell-phone and now we don't use it only for call or send message text but to do more. Like play somes games when we wait XXX the bus, use it like a GPS when we are lost, do some research on XXX Internet when we are not at home... As a result it use a lot of batteri. It will be expensive now, like everything when it's new but you won't regret buying it. But I'm doing my best to find a way to reduce te price, I hope soon it would become cheaper. For the moment, it cost two thousand euros to product one. But people will save more money when the electricity bill will become smarter.
Réponse: Correction/nouvelle invention de snoop34, postée le 12-01-2015 à 13:39:27 (S | E)
Je vous remercie pour vos réponses.
J'ai essayé de corriger les erreurs du premier message.
Useful? notably for young (Tu parles d'une généralité et non d'une personne précise) who has a smartphone of different brands, but even (Erreur de frappe ?) old people (pluriel solar (orthographe) phone charger, it means it will recharge it-self anywhere. There are somes (Utilise "some of them") in the market but they are too big to transport it's not very handy. What I propose to you it is barely the size of half phone, you just (Une autre erreur de frappe ?) have hook up like a normal charger and that's it. and usually (orthographe) I (Majuscule !)'m out of battery, a lot of batterie (La terminaison est fausse)to reduce the (Je pense que tu voulais écrire "the") price.
et pour la 2eme crorrection.
Je ne vois pas quoi corriger dans I'm going to present you;notably for young who have a smartphone of different brands, having XXX battery XXXX que dois-je mettre? Do you have the impression that you pass more time (je ne vois pas l'erreur)to recharge your phone than using it? I'd like to present you a solar phone charger,to carry. What I propose to you it (que dois-je changer?)is barely the size of half phone, you just avec to hook up like a normal charger and that's it.Like playing somes games when we wait XXX the bus, use it like a GPS when we are lost, do some research on XXX Internet when we are not at home... As a result it use a lot of batteri. It will be expensive now, like everything when it's new but you won't regret buying it. But I'm doing my best to find a way to reduce te price, I hope soon it would become cheaper. But people will save more money when the electricity bill will become smaller.
J'ai corrigé ce que j'ai pu, merci !
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Modifié par lucile83 le 12-01-2015 14:54
Réponse: Correction/nouvelle invention de here4u, postée le 12-01-2015 à 17:14:26 (S | E)
hello !
XXXX signifie qu'il manque quelque chose ...
Allez, courage !
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