Oral blanc /Bac
Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En basMessage de solene22 posté le 16-11-2014 à 15:35:22 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Je passe bientôt un oral blanc pour me préparer au Bac. J'ai préparé la notion "Forms and seats of power". J'aimerais donc savoir s'il y a des erreurs de grammaire,vocabulaire, conjugaison etc...
Merci d'avance
I will present to you the notion « forms and seats of power ». I will talk you about the India population and we will ask us if all citizens are on an equal footing in modern-today India. Firstly, we’re going to see if there are inequalities among citizens. Then we’re going to discuss the disparities among men and women. Finally, we’re going to see the evolution of Indian society.
First, I will speak about Dalits people. In India, the society is divided in four parts, making up the caste system. The affilation of a caste is hereditary. In addition to the basic castes, there is also an outcaste called the Untouchables or the Dalits, who are not considered part of human society. There are exclude from the caste system. There are approximately 250 million in India (25% of the population). They fall into the category of have-nots. There are underprivileged.
Dalits people are poor people, they live without electricity, there are considered as animals. Most of them survive on less than one dollar a day. They represent one third of the world’s poor population.
Dalit’s people have been given the worst jobs like gravediggers, toilets cleaners or slave workers on the lands of the rich. Even though the cast system is forbidden, it still exists in rural areas and so does discrimination towards Dalits still exists. In fact, they are forced to use specific eating places, schools, temples and water sources.
Moreover, women are also descrimiate like Dalits people.
Indeed, the number of baby girls born in India, is at an all-time low. Families are desperate for sons as they are financially more attractive. Actually, it’s more attractive to have boys than girls as the bride’s familily has to pay a dowry to the groom’s family. Therefore, Indian families want to have sons because they look after the family name and the family buissness. They can help families in the fields, because India is an agricultural country and most of poor families can’t afford to have more than one child. Girls represent for their families a burden. That’s why, each years, a lot of baby girls are killed just after birth. These practices are called a gendercide.
So as to restrict this gendercide, find the sex of a baby before birth is illegal. This ban is not really respected because, in India, there are many abortions.
Thus, in three generations, more than 50000 million women have been selectively eliminated from India’s population through infanticide, dowry-related murders, and other gendercide practices. This gendercide may eventually leave many Indian men without partners because there are twice as many boys as girls. These practices represent a real discrimination because not every child is given a chance.
Lately, a sterilization campaign was undertaken. India carried out nearly 4 million sterilisations during 2013-2014, according to official figures. Less than 100,000 of these surgeries were done on men.
Furthermore, most people who work in country’s government are men because the women can’t have the right to work. He’s the husband who decide, he dominate the society. Despite everything, women were elected twice as head of state : Indira Gandhi, as first female prime minister and Pratibha Patil as first female president.
However, India is a changing country.
India has changed dramatically. In fact, farms are giving way to factories, ultra-cheaps cars being built or companies buying out rivals abroad.
Women’s social statues is changing too. The women start their own entrprise thanks to microcredits. The couples were ending marriages no matter the society thinks, it was unthinkable before, in India.
Nowaday, Indian’s don’t have to emigrate to achieve their dreams. There are more confident and helpful. They realize that they can beat the odds. If people leaving India today, it’s a choice, not a necessity. India is a thriving country.
To conclude, we can say that, all citizen are not on an equal footing in todaymodern India. Despite this assesment,the society is going to change, so we can hope that women and Dalits circumstances will became better.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-11-2014 15:38
Réponse: Oral blanc /Bac de laure95, postée le 16-11-2014 à 17:39:57 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Voici des points à reprendre (mais il y en peut-être d'autres):
I will present to you (pas nécessaire) the notion « forms and seats of power ». I will talk
First, I will speak about Dalits people. In India, the society is divided in (into) four parts, making up the caste system. The affilation (orthographe)) of a caste is hereditary. In addition to the basic castes, there is also an outcaste called the Untouchables or the Dalits, who are not considered (as)part of human society. There are (THERE ARE = il y a) exclude (pas la bonne forme du verbe) from the caste system. There are approximately 250 million in India (25% of the population). They fall into the category of (the) have-nots. There are underprivileged.
Dalits people are poor people, they live without electricity, there are considered as animals. Most of them survive on less than one dollar a day. They represent one third of the world’s poor population.
Dalit’s people have been given the worst jobs like gravediggers, toilets cleaners or slave workers on the lands of the rich. Even though the cast system is forbidden, it still exists in rural areas and so does (?,) discrimination towards Dalits still exists. In fact, they are forced to use specific eating places, schools, temples and water sources.
Moreover, women are also descrimiate (orthographe) like Dalits people.
Indeed, the number of baby girls born in India, is at an all-time low. Families are desperate for sons as they are financially more attractive. Actually, it’s more attractive to have boys than girls as the bride’s familily has to pay a dowry to the groom’s family. Therefore, Indian families want to have sons because they look after the family name and the family buissness. (orthographe) They can help families in the fields, because India is an agricultural country and most
So as to restrict this gendercide, find the sex of a baby before birth is illegal. This ban is not really respected because, in India, there are many abortions.
Thus, in three generations, more than 50000 million women have been selectively eliminated from India’s population through infanticide, dowry-related murders, and other gendercide practices. This gendercide may eventually leave many Indian men without partners because there are twice as many boys as girls. These practices represent a real discrimination because not every child is given a chance.
Lately, a sterilization campaign was undertaken. India carried out nearly 4 million sterilisations during 2013-2014, according to official figures. Less than 100,000 of these surgeries were done on men.
Furthermore, most people who work in (FOR)country’s government are men because
However, India is a changing country.
India has changed dramatically. In fact, farms are giving way to factories, ultra-cheaps cars being built or companies buying out rivals abroad.
Women’s social statues (orthographe) is changing too. The women start their own entrprise (orthographe) thanks to microcredits. The couples were ending marriages no matter the society thinks, it was unthinkable before, in India.
Nowaday, Indian’s (orthographe) don’t have to emigrate to achieve their dreams. There are more confident and helpful. They realize that they can beat the odds. If people leaving (conjugaison) India today, it’s a choice, not a necessity. India is a thriving country.
To conclude, we can say that, all citizen are not on an equal footing in todaymodern India. Despite this assesment,the society is going to change, so we can hope that women and Dalits circumstances will became better.
Réponse: Oral blanc /Bac de solene22, postée le 17-11-2014 à 18:49:17 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup d'avoir pris le temps de corriger mon texte
Par contre, je ne comprends pas l'erreur dans la phrase : "They are exclude from the caste system." (à la ligne 7)
Pourriez-vous m'aider s'il vous plaît ?
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