Correction/ texte abeilles
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Message de melanie19 posté le 11-11-2014 à 01:02:18 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis en master et je dois réaliser une lettre très FORMELLE pour lundi sur le thème de la protection des abeilles contre les frelons asiatiques. J'aimerais s'il vous plait pouvoir être corrigée ou ne serait-ce qu'avoir quelques conseils sur la formulation des phrases etc.
Je vous remercie d'avance.
Mélanie
"Dear Mr. Jones,
I would like to remind you in this letter how much bees are important for our ecosystems, while suggesting more precise solutions to protect them against one of their predators: Asian Hornets.
Bees are essential for humans. Indeed, bees are directly involved in the preservation of the ecological balance and play a major role for the survival of humanity.
Unfortunately, you probably already know that bees are currently in jeopardy. Many factors can explain this, one of the main being the threat of the Asian hornet.
When Asian hornets find a bee colony or a beehive, they tend to settle down in order to capture and eat them. Moreover, they are invasive species, thus their population grow at the expense of bees. However, I believe some solutions exist.
First of all, hornet's nests can be destroyed by insecticides or aspiration. Destruction must be made preferably in early summer, when the nests are filled with larvae, so the hornets are more vulnerable.
Secondly, researchers are currently working on the use of a parasite to kill colonies of Asian hornets. This parasite will infect the queen, kill it and thus, decimate the entire colony. But before using this parasite in natural conditions, they must first prove that it has no impact on bees and wasps. There are also researches on an improvement of the traps used to capture Asian hornets, replacing the sugary bait by pheromones
Finally, an amateur beekeeper found a way to protect his bees against Asian hornets using chickens. Indeed, chickens are fond of Asian hornets and eat them when they start to build the nest, which prevents the construction of the colony.
I truly hope that my letter and my French solutions to eliminate Asian hornets will prove interesting to you, and will help to protect bees in the world.
Sincerely"
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Modifié par lucile83 le 11-11-2014 08:34
Message de melanie19 posté le 11-11-2014 à 01:02:18 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je suis en master et je dois réaliser une lettre très FORMELLE pour lundi sur le thème de la protection des abeilles contre les frelons asiatiques. J'aimerais s'il vous plait pouvoir être corrigée ou ne serait-ce qu'avoir quelques conseils sur la formulation des phrases etc.
Je vous remercie d'avance.
Mélanie
"Dear Mr. Jones,
I would like to remind you in this letter how much bees are important for our ecosystems, while suggesting more precise solutions to protect them against one of their predators: Asian Hornets.
Bees are essential for humans. Indeed, bees are directly involved in the preservation of the ecological balance and play a major role for the survival of humanity.
Unfortunately, you probably already know that bees are currently in jeopardy. Many factors can explain this, one of the main being the threat of the Asian hornet.
When Asian hornets find a bee colony or a beehive, they tend to settle down in order to capture and eat them. Moreover, they are invasive species, thus their population grow at the expense of bees. However, I believe some solutions exist.
First of all, hornet's nests can be destroyed by insecticides or aspiration. Destruction must be made preferably in early summer, when the nests are filled with larvae, so the hornets are more vulnerable.
Secondly, researchers are currently working on the use of a parasite to kill colonies of Asian hornets. This parasite will infect the queen, kill it and thus, decimate the entire colony. But before using this parasite in natural conditions, they must first prove that it has no impact on bees and wasps. There are also researches on an improvement of the traps used to capture Asian hornets, replacing the sugary bait by pheromones
Finally, an amateur beekeeper found a way to protect his bees against Asian hornets using chickens. Indeed, chickens are fond of Asian hornets and eat them when they start to build the nest, which prevents the construction of the colony.
I truly hope that my letter and my French solutions to eliminate Asian hornets will prove interesting to you, and will help to protect bees in the world.
Sincerely"
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 11-11-2014 08:34
Réponse: Correction/ texte abeilles de sherry48, postée le 11-11-2014 à 13:33:23 (S | E)
Hello. Here are a few areas to take another look at.
"Dear Mr. Jones,
I would like to remind you in this letter how much bees are important how important...for/to our ecosystems, while suggesting more precise solutions to protect them against/from one of their predators: Asian Hornets.
Bees are essential for/to humans/human beings. Indeed, bees are directly involved in the preservation of (the) ecological balance and play a major role for
(different preposition) the survival of humanity. Unfortunately, you probably already know that bees are currently in jeopardy. Many factors can explain this, one of the main _______ being the threat of the Asian hornet.
When Asian hornets find a bee colony or a beehive, they tend to settle down in order to capture and eat them. Moreover, they are _____ invasive species, thus their population grow
at the expense of bees. However, I believe some solutions exist. First of all, hornet's nests can be destroyed by insecticides or aspiration. Destruction must be made (With a little reorganization, you can eliminate this word) preferably in early summer, when the nests are filled with larvae, so the hornets are more vulnerable.
Secondly, researchers are currently working on the use of a parasite to kill colonies of Asian hornets. This parasite will infect the queen, kill it and thus, decimate the entire colony. But before using this parasite in natural conditions, they must first prove that it has no impact on bees and wasps. There are
also researches on an improvement of the traps used to capture Asian hornets, replacing the sugary bait by pheromones (is replaced by, but replacing with)Finally, an amateur beekeeper found a way to protect his bees against Asian hornets using chickens. Indeed, chickens are fond of Asian hornets and eat them when they start to build their/a nest, which prevents the construction of the colony.
I truly hope that my letter and my French solutions to eliminate Asian hornets will prove interesting to you, and will help
Sherry
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