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Aide/ Rédaction //
Message de alexianemartin posté le 24-08-2014 à 18:03:02
Bonjour à tous,
j'ai une rédaction d'anglais à faire pour la rentrée, dont le sujet est "What does the word "héros" mean to you?". N'étant pas très bonne en anglais, j'aimerais savoir si quelqu'un ayant un bon niveau pour m'aider à corriger les fautes (en me les expliquant) ce qui m'aiderait beaucoup sachant que je passe le bac cette année !
Merci beaucoup, et bonne lecture
The word "hero" is used by many people in the world. there are a lot of meanings, each depends on the person. Here, I will explain what does The word "hero" means to me.
Foremost,for me, The definition of a hero is simple: it's a person who save lifes, or things. I will class Them in three categories.
Firstly,we have the reel person, that we can found in The hospital or in a casern, I speak of course of firefighters and doctors. There are "heroes" for me because they spent their life to save people and they can die at any time. It's very difficult for Them because they have a family and if They die, They leave their family behind Them causing great sadness. Furthermore, nobody know them in The world like heroes from comic strip.
Then, we have heroes that everybody knows, like "Superman", "Batman", "Wonderwoman", etc.. Like firefighters and doctors, they save lifes but not with learning or school, they save lifes with powers. Furthermore, everybody know them from films, or comic strip, but they don't exist...
To finish, the last heroes for me are the environmentalist, you know, people who try to save our wonderful blue planet infested by the pollution, poaching, deforastation, etc.. They spend their life to save our world from all horrible things that humans do to the planet, to repare our errors. But dispite their presence, their motivation to fight this scourge, it's not sufficient unfortunatly...
To conclude, whether doctors, firefighters, heroes of comic strip, or environmentalist, all for me are heroes, certaintly different, but stay heroes.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 24-08-2014 18:08
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Modifié par lucile83 le 25-08-2014 18:51
Nous sommes désolés, mais nous avons fermé ce sujet conformément aux conditions d'utilisations du site: Lien internet
et aux conseils d'utilisations du forum: Lien internet
Message de alexianemartin posté le 24-08-2014 à 18:03:02
Bonjour à tous,
j'ai une rédaction d'anglais à faire pour la rentrée, dont le sujet est "What does the word "héros" mean to you?". N'étant pas très bonne en anglais, j'aimerais savoir si quelqu'un ayant un bon niveau pour m'aider à corriger les fautes (en me les expliquant) ce qui m'aiderait beaucoup sachant que je passe le bac cette année !
Merci beaucoup, et bonne lecture
The word "hero" is used by many people in the world. there are a lot of meanings, each depends on the person. Here, I will explain what does The word "hero" means to me.
Foremost,for me, The definition of a hero is simple: it's a person who save lifes, or things. I will class Them in three categories.
Firstly,we have the reel person, that we can found in The hospital or in a casern, I speak of course of firefighters and doctors. There are "heroes" for me because they spent their life to save people and they can die at any time. It's very difficult for Them because they have a family and if They die, They leave their family behind Them causing great sadness. Furthermore, nobody know them in The world like heroes from comic strip.
Then, we have heroes that everybody knows, like "Superman", "Batman", "Wonderwoman", etc.. Like firefighters and doctors, they save lifes but not with learning or school, they save lifes with powers. Furthermore, everybody know them from films, or comic strip, but they don't exist...
To finish, the last heroes for me are the environmentalist, you know, people who try to save our wonderful blue planet infested by the pollution, poaching, deforastation, etc.. They spend their life to save our world from all horrible things that humans do to the planet, to repare our errors. But dispite their presence, their motivation to fight this scourge, it's not sufficient unfortunatly...
To conclude, whether doctors, firefighters, heroes of comic strip, or environmentalist, all for me are heroes, certaintly different, but stay heroes.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 24-08-2014 18:08
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 25-08-2014 18:51
Nous sommes désolés, mais nous avons fermé ce sujet conformément aux conditions d'utilisations du site: Lien internet
et aux conseils d'utilisations du forum: Lien internet
Réponse: Aide/ Rédaction // de here4u, postée le 25-08-2014 à 05:12:03
Hello
I'll start :
Blue= not satisfactory
Green = a sugggestion
XXXXX= missing elements
The word "hero" is used by many people in the world. there are a lot of meanings, each depends on the person. Here, I will explain what does The word "hero" means( attention, c'est une interrogative indirecte.... ) to me.
( First and) Foremost,for me, The definition of a hero is simple: it's(boff ...) a person who save lifes(3e personne +finale plurielle fausse), or things. I will class(voc) Them in three categories.
Firstly,we have the reel person, that we can found(base verbale derrière 'can') in The hospital or in a casern,(majuscule? + pluriel de généralitė + vovabulaire) I speak(temps) of course of firefighters and doctors. There are "heroes" for me because they spent their life to save people and they can die at any time. It's very difficult for Them because they have a family and if They die, They leave their family behind Them causing great sadness.
Revoir(avant tout) toutes les majuscules et la ponctuation qui rendent la lecture, la compréhension et correction difficiles. Courage !
Réponse: Aide/ Rédaction // de alexianemartin, postée le 25-08-2014 à 09:41:06
Bonjour, au niveau des majuscules (souvent à "the") c'est à cause de la correction automatique sur mon portable
! Je vais essayer de corriger mes fautes; merci beaucoup Réponse: Aide/ Rédaction // de alexianemartin, postée le 25-08-2014 à 10:00:13
Il n'y a pas de fautes dans l'autre partie de mon texte ? Comme vous ne l'avez pas remis
Réponse: Aide/ Rédaction // de here4u, postée le 25-08-2014 à 10:23:13
Non ... j'avais juste 'profité' 
d'un réveil intempestif ... Voici la suite !
Furthermore, nobody know them in The world, like heroes from comic strip.
Then, we have heroes that everybody knows, like "Superman", "Batman", "Wonderwoman", etc.. Like firefighters and doctors, they save lifes but not with learning or school (??? not clear), they save lifes with powers. Furthermore, everybody know them from films, or comic strip, but they don't exist...
To finish, the last heroes for me are the environmentalist, you know, people who try to save our wonderful blue planet infested by the pollution, poaching, deforastation, etc.. They spend their life to save our world from all horrible things that humans do to the planet, to repare our errors. But dispite their presence, their motivation to fight this scourge, it's not sufficient unfortunatly (ordre des mots ou ponctuation)...
To conclude, whether doctors, firefighters, heroes of comic strip, or environmentalist, all for me are heroes, certaintly different, but stay heroes.
Je trouve la définition initiale un peu superficielle et démentie par la suite du propos, d'ailleurs ! De plus, la transition entre réalité et fiction est un peu difficile à accepter ...
I hope it will help !
Réponse: Aide/ Rédaction // de alexianemartin, postée le 25-08-2014 à 11:28:50
Merci beaucoup de votre aide
j'ai vraiment du mal avec les rédactions d'anglais,
Je vais corriger les fautes et essayer de faire des modifications pour que mon texte soit plus clair !
Merci beaucoup ! :D
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Modifié par lucile83 le 25-08-2014 17:22
Merci d'employer un langage correct sur le forum.
Réponse: Aide/ Rédaction // de here4u, postée le 25-08-2014 à 16:18:43
ARGHHHHHHhhhh
Grrrr ... 
Un vrai apprenant ne doit jamais dire, ou écrire, qu'il est 'une *****' 
Ceci ne fait que vous conforter dans des 'a priori rassurants', à rester sans faire d'efforts ... Alors, au contraire, on dit ... 'Je voudrais progresser !' et ça marche ! Where there's a will .... there's a way !
Réponse: Aide/ Rédaction // de alexianemartin, postée le 25-08-2014 à 17:26:20
Non mais je voulais dire que pour le moment je ne suis pas forte en anglais, donc oui c'est sur que je veux progresser; c'est d'ailleurs pour ça que je suis venue sur ce site demander de l'aide
