Correction/Présentation
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Message de scrotty posté le 01-08-2014 à 14:12:28 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous !
Je veux partir l'année prochaine en Irlande, pour apprendre l'anglais, comme je viens de finir mes études et que je n'ai aucune contrainte, je profite.
Je passe par le site xxx. Le souci c'est que je dois rédiger une petite présentation en anglais. Je n'ai pas un niveau médiocre, mais j'aimerais avoir un texte propre, pour ne pas donner l'impression d'un truc vite fait aux gens qui le liront.
Si par ailleurs vous pouviez prendre le temps de m'expliquer mes erreurs, ce serait bien
Je vous remercie d'avance, et vous poste mon petit pavé de suite !
I am Arthur, 20 years old, and I am looking for a little job in Ireland !
I really love this country, and I want to find a job in it this year, to improve my English skills.
Actually, I live in France, with my family, and I have just finished my studies in Biology.
I don't have any precise idea of job, but I will try to find one in a farm, with animals. I got some knowledge in litle works, like gardening, painting and renovation for example. I am motivated, and serious.
I come from a little village, so I am habituate to work outside, with animals, or in hood for example.
I am sociable, I like meet poeple, and talk with them.
I am not bilingual, but I think I can have a normal conversation with someone who speak English.
Finally, my hobbie. I love music (Rock, Metal,...), and concerts. I play guitar since 2002. I also play mandolin a little.
I really love the Irish culture, and I hope I'll find a nice job in this lovely country for this year !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-08-2014 16:43
Nous n'acceptons aucune pub et ne pouvons conseiller tel ou tel site.
Message de scrotty posté le 01-08-2014 à 14:12:28 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous !
Je veux partir l'année prochaine en Irlande, pour apprendre l'anglais, comme je viens de finir mes études et que je n'ai aucune contrainte, je profite.
Je passe par le site xxx. Le souci c'est que je dois rédiger une petite présentation en anglais. Je n'ai pas un niveau médiocre, mais j'aimerais avoir un texte propre, pour ne pas donner l'impression d'un truc vite fait aux gens qui le liront.
Si par ailleurs vous pouviez prendre le temps de m'expliquer mes erreurs, ce serait bien
Je vous remercie d'avance, et vous poste mon petit pavé de suite !
I am Arthur, 20 years old, and I am looking for a little job in Ireland !
I really love this country, and I want to find a job in it this year, to improve my English skills.
Actually, I live in France, with my family, and I have just finished my studies in Biology.
I don't have any precise idea of job, but I will try to find one in a farm, with animals. I got some knowledge in litle works, like gardening, painting and renovation for example. I am motivated, and serious.
I come from a little village, so I am habituate to work outside, with animals, or in hood for example.
I am sociable, I like meet poeple, and talk with them.
I am not bilingual, but I think I can have a normal conversation with someone who speak English.
Finally, my hobbie. I love music (Rock, Metal,...), and concerts. I play guitar since 2002. I also play mandolin a little.
I really love the Irish culture, and I hope I'll find a nice job in this lovely country for this year !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 01-08-2014 16:43
Nous n'acceptons aucune pub et ne pouvons conseiller tel ou tel site.
Réponse: Correction/Présentation de here4u, postée le 01-08-2014 à 14:46:06 (S | E)
Hello
Here's my 'correction'.
As for your introduction, I don't understand who is supposed to read it ...
green = suggestions
blue = error or 'can be improved)
XXX = missing elements !
I am Arthur, 20 (years old), and I am looking for a little job in Ireland !
I really love this country, and I want to find a job in it this year, to improve my English skills.
Actually(I suppose you mean 'Presently'= en ce moment ; actually = enfait!= un Faux Ami !), I live in France, with my family, and I have just finished my studies in Biology.
I don't have any precise idea of X job, but I will try to find one in a farm, with animals. I got some knowledge in litle works, like gardening, painting and renovation for example. I am motivated, and serious.
I come from a little village, so I am habituate(voc et forme) to work outside, with animals, or in XXX hoodS(vocabulaire!) for example.
I am sociable, I like meet poeple, and talk with them.
I am not bilingual, but I think I can have a normal conversation with someone who speakX English.
Finally, my hobbieS. I love music (Rock, Metal,...), and concerts. I play (XXX)guitar since 2002. I also play XXX mandolin a little.
I really love the Irish culture, and I hope I'll find a nice job in this lovely country for this year !
Good luck !
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