Correction/ application
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Message de mcgardens posté le 13-06-2014 à 20:40:35 (S | E | F)
Hello!
I'm really sorry to disturb you. I really need a correction of a text that I must produce to apply for a 5th year in faculty of law.
The problem is that I know no one who could help me...Can you please?
I must answer 4 questions:
Why do you choose the master-DCI program?
First at all, I apply on international business law because it is no denying that the global stakes are more and more present in our society. Thus, a high mastery in this speciality seems inescapable.
Moreover, as far as I’m concerned, I have always been in the search to widen my legal horizon overstepping the only French law.
How do you imagine your future?
My wish is to work in a multinational firm with a position of responsibility. I imagine a career which would bring me the opportunity to travel all over the world, and especially, a fulfilling job.
What are you extra curricular interests?
In my free time, my principal interest is to follow the social and political actuality thanks to TV but also paper magazines. When I have a bit more time, I love playing the piano or the guitar.
In the week end, my friends and I get together to take good time around a game of cards.
What makes you application stand out from others?
My application should command your attention because I’m a really determinate person. Indeed, this year I followed three program in order to optimize my knowing: the fourth degree in law school, the first year of the DJCE, and the IEJ to sit the CRFPA.
Thus, there is no doubt that my willpower and my capacity of work are limitless.
What do you think about that?
Thank you very much !!!
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Edited by lucile83 on 13-06-2014 21:57
Message de mcgardens posté le 13-06-2014 à 20:40:35 (S | E | F)
Hello!
I'm really sorry to disturb you. I really need a correction of a text that I must produce to apply for a 5th year in faculty of law.
The problem is that I know no one who could help me...Can you please?
I must answer 4 questions:
Why do you choose the master-DCI program?
First at all, I apply on international business law because it is no denying that the global stakes are more and more present in our society. Thus, a high mastery in this speciality seems inescapable.
Moreover, as far as I’m concerned, I have always been in the search to widen my legal horizon overstepping the only French law.
How do you imagine your future?
My wish is to work in a multinational firm with a position of responsibility. I imagine a career which would bring me the opportunity to travel all over the world, and especially, a fulfilling job.
What are you extra curricular interests?
In my free time, my principal interest is to follow the social and political actuality thanks to TV but also paper magazines. When I have a bit more time, I love playing the piano or the guitar.
In the week end, my friends and I get together to take good time around a game of cards.
What makes you application stand out from others?
My application should command your attention because I’m a really determinate person. Indeed, this year I followed three program in order to optimize my knowing: the fourth degree in law school, the first year of the DJCE, and the IEJ to sit the CRFPA.
Thus, there is no doubt that my willpower and my capacity of work are limitless.
What do you think about that?
Thank you very much !!!
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 13-06-2014 21:57
Réponse: Correction/ application de sherry48, postée le 13-06-2014 à 23:27:05 (S | E)
Hello. Here are a few
Why do you choose the master-DCI program?
First at all, I apply* on
international business law because it is no denying that the global stakes are more and more present** in our society. Thus, a high mastery in this speciality seems inescapable. Moreover, as far as I’m concerned, I have always been in the search *to widen my legal horizon beyond (only) French law.
How do you imagine your future?
My wish is to work in a multinational firm with
a position of responsibility. I imagine a career which would bring me the opportunity to travel all over the world, and especially, a fulfilling job. What are you extra curricular interests?
In my free time, my principal interest is to follow the social and political actuality*** thanks to TV but also paper (newspaper and?) magazines. When I have a bit more time, I love playing the piano or the guitar.
In
the weekend, my friends and I get together to take good time around a game of cards. (Wrong for both 
)What makes your application stand out from others?
My application should command your attention because I’m a really determinate person. Indeed, this year I followed three program_ in order to optimize my knowing: the fourth degree in law school, the first year of the DJCE, and the IEJ to sit the CRFPA.
Thus, there is no doubt that my willpower and my capacity of
work are limitless. *I would use a form ending in ing
**We often say that the stakes are high, but present?
***dictionary for a better translation
Sherry
Réponse: Correction/ application de mcgardens, postée le 14-06-2014 à 00:33:45 (S | E)
Tthank you very very much !!!! you helped me a lot !
I have just corrected all my mistakes...
but I dont know if I must substitute " I have always been in the search *to widen"
by " in searching for the widening of "
or " in searching to widen"
I find the first one sounds better
I'm really grateful Sherry
you're sooo nice !! -------------------
Modifié par mcgardens le 14-06-2014 00:49
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Modifié par lucile83 le 14-06-2014 07:30
Réponse: Correction/ application de sherry48, postée le 14-06-2014 à 02:16:53 (S | E)
Hello.
I would say...I have always been searching to widen...
Sherry
Réponse: Correction/ application de gerondif, postée le 14-06-2014 à 11:07:36 (S | E)
Hello,
for me to search means for example to look for a hidden weapon
The police are searching the flat for drugs.
The policeman is searching the suspect.
in French, to search is "fouiller" and is often confused with "to look for" chercher.
For me , using to search for something intellectual sounds strange,I would have said:
I have always been eager to widen my legal horizon
I have always done my utmost to widen my legal horizon
I have always exerted myself to widen my legal horizon
I have always tried to widen my legal horizon
I have always done everything to widen my legal horizon
I have always been very keen on widening my legal horizon
widen (élargir) also sounds a bit strange to me anyway....
Réponse: Correction/ application de mcgardens, postée le 14-06-2014 à 14:30:58 (S | E)
Yes, your expressions sound better English..! I'm going to use the first one.
I guess my letter won't be "perfect English" but it will be correct English, so anyway !
Thanks a lot Gerondif and Sherry !!!
Have a good day.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 14-06-2014 16:19
Réponse: Correction/ application de sherry48, postée le 14-06-2014 à 18:45:57 (S | E)
Hello.
Gerondif's suggestion of eager to widen is a good one, and people often say horizons, plural. It is possible to say searching, if you mean that you've been looking diligently for some time. Another possibility is 'seeking'.
Sherry
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