Correction/Myths and heroes
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Message de solitarysprite posté le 01-04-2014 à 00:55:41 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
voici mon texte pour mon oral de langue de cette semaine. Pourriez-vous le corriger s'il vous plait?
Merci d'avance.
Arthur
A person may be considered as a hero if he became object of admiration, of devotion amongst a lot of people either by his achievements, his noble qualities or his great courage. A hero is also a person who accomplished extraordinary exploits. A person considered as a Myth has shared human values, values of peace, and appears as a legend.
I studied a document about disabled athletes. One of them was Oscar Pisrtorius from South Africa while running. He is the first athlete running with artificial legs in regular competitions like the Olympic Games. In my point of view, this athlete is a hero: although he is disabled and double amputee, he managed to win competitions face to valid and very fast athletes. Some people say that his artificial legs gave him an advantage; it might be the truth, but I don't care about it. In my opinion, Oscar Pistorius can be considered as a hero because he showed the world, and all disabled people that it is possible to overcome one's disabilities, to do what we want if we have courage and will
Furthermore, we can identify a third category of heroes. Today in the real life a hero may be a man or woman who is characterized by his bravery, his mental or physical strength (résistance). A hero has many human qualities, he is generous, loyal, determined, brave and courageous, but this person must have realized heroic actions to be considered as a hero. We have heroes in our world: these everyday heroes like firemen, policemen, soldiers or even anonymous are considered as heroes by many people. They risk their lives for other people to save them and they have the qualities previously mentioned. For example, on September 11th 2001 Twin towers were destroyed by terrorists using two aircrafts every fireman, soldier, policeman, and anonymous persons, who helped many other people during this horrible disaster are heroes; Thanks to their courage, many people have survived this disaster.
I studied a document about Nelson Mandela entitled “Freedom for Mandela”. This document deals with Mandela’s life and his achievements. For me, Mandela is an icon and a model for everyone. He was a person admired for his achievements, noble qualities and his great courage: he fought to be in an equal footing with the whites, he helped black people for their rights but his fight for the defense of blacks legal rights led him to jail. Mandela was a hero for many people all over the world. After passing 27 years in jail and having fought to abolish apartheid and for having bring people together, he became president of South Africa. Nelson Mandela was the man who had reconciled a majority of blacks and whites in South Africa. Even though he was condemned to the life sentence, he managed to forgive the whites who did it thanks to his noble qualities, his intelligence, and his forgiveness. He was a unionist and he decreased the racism war. Finally, Nelson Mandela had very important roles in the history of South Africa and became a real hero even a myth at times thanks to all his achievements, his human qualities, and thanks to all his values which he gave to the world He represent an ideal.
To conclude, Heros or Myths have a capacity to change the minds of many people, to help them and to change the course of history. They do courageous things, they fight for something or they want to serve others. They represent a model, an ideal person. Et personne ne peut nier leurs faits, ils ont changé l'histoire, notre histoire.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 01-04-2014 08:33
Message de solitarysprite posté le 01-04-2014 à 00:55:41 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
voici mon texte pour mon oral de langue de cette semaine. Pourriez-vous le corriger s'il vous plait?
Merci d'avance.
Arthur
A person may be considered as a hero if he became object of admiration, of devotion amongst a lot of people either by his achievements, his noble qualities or his great courage. A hero is also a person who accomplished extraordinary exploits. A person considered as a Myth has shared human values, values of peace, and appears as a legend.
I studied a document about disabled athletes. One of them was Oscar Pisrtorius from South Africa while running. He is the first athlete running with artificial legs in regular competitions like the Olympic Games. In my point of view, this athlete is a hero: although he is disabled and double amputee, he managed to win competitions face to valid and very fast athletes. Some people say that his artificial legs gave him an advantage; it might be the truth, but I don't care about it. In my opinion, Oscar Pistorius can be considered as a hero because he showed the world, and all disabled people that it is possible to overcome one's disabilities, to do what we want if we have courage and will
Furthermore, we can identify a third category of heroes. Today in the real life a hero may be a man or woman who is characterized by his bravery, his mental or physical strength (résistance). A hero has many human qualities, he is generous, loyal, determined, brave and courageous, but this person must have realized heroic actions to be considered as a hero. We have heroes in our world: these everyday heroes like firemen, policemen, soldiers or even anonymous are considered as heroes by many people. They risk their lives for other people to save them and they have the qualities previously mentioned. For example, on September 11th 2001 Twin towers were destroyed by terrorists using two aircrafts every fireman, soldier, policeman, and anonymous persons, who helped many other people during this horrible disaster are heroes; Thanks to their courage, many people have survived this disaster.
I studied a document about Nelson Mandela entitled “Freedom for Mandela”. This document deals with Mandela’s life and his achievements. For me, Mandela is an icon and a model for everyone. He was a person admired for his achievements, noble qualities and his great courage: he fought to be in an equal footing with the whites, he helped black people for their rights but his fight for the defense of blacks legal rights led him to jail. Mandela was a hero for many people all over the world. After passing 27 years in jail and having fought to abolish apartheid and for having bring people together, he became president of South Africa. Nelson Mandela was the man who had reconciled a majority of blacks and whites in South Africa. Even though he was condemned to the life sentence, he managed to forgive the whites who did it thanks to his noble qualities, his intelligence, and his forgiveness. He was a unionist and he decreased the racism war. Finally, Nelson Mandela had very important roles in the history of South Africa and became a real hero even a myth at times thanks to all his achievements, his human qualities, and thanks to all his values which he gave to the world He represent an ideal.
To conclude, Heros or Myths have a capacity to change the minds of many people, to help them and to change the course of history. They do courageous things, they fight for something or they want to serve others. They represent a model, an ideal person. Et personne ne peut nier leurs faits, ils ont changé l'histoire, notre histoire.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 01-04-2014 08:33
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