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Correction /immigration reform

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction /immigration reform
Message de marielh posté le 16-02-2014 à 11:16:47 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

Pourriez-vous corriger mes fautes que j'ai beaucoup de mal à voir par moi-même (si vous avez des conseils pour m'aider dans ma relecture je suis preneuse !)
Que pensez-vous de cet essai ? (fond et forme?)
Merci pour vos réponses !

Should the United States continue to deal with in depth its immigration policy ?

According to Penny Pritzker, who is the commerce secretary, the immigration reform is a priority whereas this issue has been avoided for the beginning of the shutdown. The immigration reform is a core divided issue between Democrats and Republicans ‘ policy. Unless the latter, Democrats are in favour of a broader access to citizenship for undocumented workers. I think passing this reform is a necessity for the United States in our world system.
As a case in point Obama campaign highlights it. He claimed to reform this out-dated immigration policy. According to 63 per cent of Americans in favour of access to citizenship for illegal immigrants, Obama bill was passed by the Senate on the 27 June, 2013. It will lead to regularization of millions of undocumented workers, the reinforcement of boundary between the United-States and Mexico, the increase of numbers of green cards which allow high-qualified workers to come in the United States. However, this bill is not yet voted by the House of Representatives, which is composed with a majority of Republicans.
Republicans are against immigrations reforms because they are conservatives particularly about population. Unfortunately they forget American society is based on successive waves of immigration so that they are not a kind of “American types”. Besides republicans begin to be divided on this issue. Indeed John Boehner, who was a firmly opponents, currently declared that he considered a path to citizenship. This change is due to several capitalist campaigns which promotes benefits for companies to employ immigrant workers in order to be more competitive. In this context, Eric Cantor claimed this immigration reform should induce an economic boom.

To my mind, the immigration reform has to be voted because Americans are very outdated about this issue. As well as being an economic advantage, this immigration reform should allow millions of persons to live without fears and allow a better cohesion in American society. Nevertheless we could not forget that the American immigration policy is due to bleaker cause. It is due to more economic reasons than human or social ones. Indeed companies seen in it both a way to exploit workers who have an inferior status than Americans and a new market who benefit firms selling military and surveillance devices. Moreover studies reveal that this reform truly consider just 60% of regularization among 11,5 millions of undocumented persons. Eventually the rate of arrests in boundary is still unclear.


-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 16-02-2014 11:36


Réponse: Correction /immigration reform de marielh, postée le 19-02-2014 à 20:03:51 (S | E)
aidez-moi s'il vous plaît !!



Réponse: Correction /immigration reform de gerondif, postée le 19-02-2014 à 22:19:53 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
bleu ou rose: erreurs
vert: corrections
Should the United States continue to deal with its in depth immigration policy ?

According to Penny Pritzker, who is the commerce secretary, the immigration reform is a priority whereas(vous confondez "mais au contraire"=whereas et bien que (concession) although) this issue has been avoided for(for ou from, depuis?) the beginning of the shutdown. The immigration reform is a core divided issue between Democrats and Republicans ‘ policy. Unless (vous confondez unless= sauf si et unlike )the latter, Democrats are in favour of a broader access to citizenship for undocumented workers. I think passing this reform is a necessity for the United States in our world system.
As a case in point(sens?), Obama's campaign highlights it. He claimed to reform this out-dated immigration policy. According to 63 per cent of Americans in favour of access to citizenship for illegal immigrants, Obama bill was passed by the Senate on the 27th of June, 2013. It will lead to regularization of millions of undocumented workers, the reinforcement of boundary between the United-States and Mexico, the increase of numbers of green cards which allow high-qualified workers to come into the United States. However, this bill is not yet voted by the House of Representatives, which is composed with (plutôt of)a majority of Republicans.
Republicans are against immigrations reforms because they are conservatives, particularly about the population. Unfortunately, they forget American society is based on successive waves of immigration so that they are not a kind of “American types”(sens?). Besides, republicans begin to be divided on this issue. Indeed John Boehner, who was a firmly(l'adverbe ne convient pas, il faut l'adjectif) opponents , currently declared that he considered (manque un cod, non?) a path to citizenship. This change is due to several capitalistic campaigns which promotes benefits for companies to employ immigrant workers in order to be more competitive. In this context, Eric Cantor claimed this immigration reform should induce an economic boom.

To my mind, the immigration reform has to be voted because Americans are very outdated about this issue. As well as being an economic advantage, this immigration reform should allow millions of persons to live without fears and allow a better cohesion in American society. Nevertheless we could(must) not forget that the American immigration policy is due to a bleaker cause. It is due more to economic reasons than human or social ones. Indeed companies seen in it both a way to exploit workers who have an inferior status than Americans and a new market who benefits firms selling military and surveillance devices. Moreover, studies reveal that this reform truly considers just 60% of regularization among 11,5 millions of undocumented persons. Eventually the rate of arrests in boundary (mauvaise préposition, confusion entre boundary et border)is still unclear.
Mettez des virgules après vos adverbes de début de phrase.




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