Aide / relecture
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Message de swaagraimbow posté le 05-02-2014 à 20:35:21 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous ;je suis nouveau par ici .
je dois rendre dans la fin de semaine ce sujet là et je ne suis pas sûr de mon expression ;je ne suis pas trés fort en anglais :/
Pouvez-vous me donner votre avis ? Merci d'avance !!
J’ai le sujet suivant :
Your best friend is celebrating his/her 17th birthday. You give a speech. Include anecdotes and a little poem about his/her second-generation immigrant.
I’m enjoy today because it’s a good and beautiful day we celebrate your 17th Birthday. I’d like to wish you and say ‘Happy Birthday!’ The story of our friendship opened when you arrived in my High School.
I met you for the first time when we are freshman in high school and be became fast friends because I like their personality, we have the same hobbies (Video Games, kind of music...) and you play football as me.
We are best Friend despite we don’t have the same education. I’ve never been best friends with anyone as long as our friendship and I’m really lucky to meet you and I hope stayed for a long time!
I remember the day when you invited me to celebrate thanksgiving with your American Family, and this journey it’s a good day for me and your father explain me, why he immigrate to France 30 years ago because in his homeland, he earned little, and he want a better standard of living for his family. I'll never forget all our moments pass together.
Poem:
For you my friend
Your birthday marks the end of another year and the start of many others to come,
I learned to know you and there are no words can be describe our friendship.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
You promised me that you would always be my friend.
With you, I always had something to share. I keep you in my heart
Happy Birthday!
Merdi d'avance !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 06-02-2014 00:36
Message de swaagraimbow posté le 05-02-2014 à 20:35:21 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous ;je suis nouveau par ici .
je dois rendre dans la fin de semaine ce sujet là et je ne suis pas sûr de mon expression ;je ne suis pas trés fort en anglais :/
Pouvez-vous me donner votre avis ? Merci d'avance !!
J’ai le sujet suivant :
Your best friend is celebrating his/her 17th birthday. You give a speech. Include anecdotes and a little poem about his/her second-generation immigrant.
I’m enjoy today because it’s a good and beautiful day we celebrate your 17th Birthday. I’d like to wish you and say ‘Happy Birthday!’ The story of our friendship opened when you arrived in my High School.
I met you for the first time when we are freshman in high school and be became fast friends because I like their personality, we have the same hobbies (Video Games, kind of music...) and you play football as me.
We are best Friend despite we don’t have the same education. I’ve never been best friends with anyone as long as our friendship and I’m really lucky to meet you and I hope stayed for a long time!
I remember the day when you invited me to celebrate thanksgiving with your American Family, and this journey it’s a good day for me and your father explain me, why he immigrate to France 30 years ago because in his homeland, he earned little, and he want a better standard of living for his family. I'll never forget all our moments pass together.
Poem:
For you my friend
Your birthday marks the end of another year and the start of many others to come,
I learned to know you and there are no words can be describe our friendship.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
You promised me that you would always be my friend.
With you, I always had something to share. I keep you in my heart
Happy Birthday!
Merdi d'avance !
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 06-02-2014 00:36
Réponse: Aide / relecture de bluduck2, postée le 06-02-2014 à 18:10:00 (S | E)
Hello swaamgrainbow !
voici quelques remarques :--deux "faux amis": journey(ligne 8) qui veut dire voyage et "to pass" qui veut dire réussir à un examen.
--to enjoy[l.1) est un verbe "normal"I enjoy, you enjoy,they enjoy /I am happy/You are glad/they are thrilled /
--l.1 to celebrate,present continu
--l.3 faites la concordance des temps -- I met,simple past donc "to be" ,simple past
--l.3 faute d'inattention,adjectif possessif "your"
--l.3 we soon became friends
--l.4 like me,you play football(like +nom ou pronom)
--l.5 cherchez " bien que "dans le dictionnaire
--l.5 vous avez écrit "te rencontrer" ,dites t'"avoir rencontré"
--l.6 voc :remplacez "to stay" par "to remain"
--l.8 tous les verbes concernant le récit du père(to be/to want/to explain/to immigrate) doivent être conjugués au simple past.
I hope this helps.
Bluduck2
Réponse: Aide / relecture de swaagraimbow, postée le 09-02-2014 à 17:51:20 (S | E)
Que dire de plus autre que vous remercier 1000 Fois!!! Grand merci
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