Correction /oral

Correction /oral
Message de quentv10 posté le 26-01-2014 à 16:42:56 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous ,

j'aurais besoin d'un peu d'aide car j'ai un oral d'anglais demain sur les héros.
Merci d'avance pour votre aide.
Il faut choisir et défendre son héros à l'oral, j'ai donc choisi Barack Obama comme héros .
Voici mon texte:

I chose Brack Obama as hero because it marked the American people as the first black president in the USA. He was elected in November 2008 and reelected in 2012 so he is enjoyed by American people.
To my mind Obama is a extraordinary person because is courageous , daring , confident and reckless.
He has done very important things for America. At the head of USA , he completed foreign policy , he ended the war in Iraq and secured nuclear weapons from terrorist.
He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize on October the nineth two thousand nine for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen diplomacy
He is aa symbol of American democraty and he completed domestic policy goals.
All American life for what he does .

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Modifié par lucile83 le 26-01-2014 17:18

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Réponse: Correction /oral de laure95, postée le 26-01-2014 à 17:21:07 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
Voici quelques points à reprendre:
I chose (ou I've chosen)Brack Obama as (il manque un article)hero because it marked (present perfect car tu fais un bilan) the American people as the first black president in the USA. He was elected in November 2008 and reelected in 2012 so he is enjoyed (appreciated) by American people.
To my mind Obama is a (revoir la règel pour choisir entre A et AN) extraordinary person because (où est le sujet?) is courageous , daring , confident and reckless.
He has done very important things for America. At the head of (il manque l'article) USA , he completed foreign policy , he ended the war in Iraq and secured (bilan = present perfect) nuclear weapons from terrorist(s).
He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize on October the nineth (orthographe) two thousand (and) nine for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen diplomacy
He is aa symbol of American democraty (orthographe) and he completed (bilan = present perfect) domestic policy goals.
All American life for what he does : ? .

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Réponse: Correction /oral de lucile83, postée le 26-01-2014 à 17:24:26 (S | E)
Hello,

Errors in blue.

I chose Brack Obama as .... hero because it marked the American people as the first black president in the USA. He was elected in November 2008 and reelected in 2012 so he is enjoyed by American people.
To my mind Obama is a extraordinary person because ... is courageous , daring , confident and reckless.
He has done very important things for America. At the head of ... USA , he completed foreign policy , he ended the war in Iraq and secured nuclear weapons from terrorist.
He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize on October the nineth two thousand nine for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen diplomacy.
He is aa symbol of American democraty and he completed domestic policy goals.
All American life for what he does .

Vous employez le prétérit pour le bilan puis le present perfect; il faut choisir un temps, à mon avis le PP, et le garder.

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Réponse: Correction /oral de quentv10, postée le 26-01-2014 à 18:07:50 (S | E)
merci beaucoup à vous deux d'avoir pris le temps de me corriger

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Modifié par quentv10 le 26-01-2014 18:24

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