Oral / correction
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Message de lad posté le 15-12-2013 à 18:37:53 (S | E | F)
Bonjour !
J'ai un oral d'anglais prévu pour mardi sur l'immigration. J'ai essayé de corriger un maximum de fautes avec mes capacités, pouvez-vous me dire s'il y d'autres fautes, surtout d'orthographe, et dans l'utilisation des temps?
Merci beaucoup !
"I’m 36, but I was only 18 when I decided to leave my family in Guatemala to come to the US. Life in Guatemala was very difficult, especially because of the civil war which began in 1990.
I worked in coffee plantations and livestock farming. But my village found itself caught up in combat zones, some people were killed or deported, the cattle were slaughtered and the deforestation removed lots of plantations. My father and me didn’t have any work, and my family lived in the biggest poverty.
That’s why I decided to go to the US. I wanted to find a job for spending money to my parents and my brothers and sisters. I got in touch with a coyote who wanted 10 000 quetzal, let around 1 000 euros. I had to take out a loan. A few days after, I went to the appointment. We were about twenty, the coyote told us to go up into the bus which he had reserved.
We had to cross Mexico and Arizona’s desert. It was so punishing and I faced up to the hunger, the thirst, the tears and the distress. Several fellow travelers died of thirst in Arizona, or died of exhaustion during this long travel.
But I cope, and after two months, I finally arrived to Tucson, in the US. Then, I decided to adopt the American clothing, with blue jeans and hooded jacket, and I learnt some sentences in English, to go unnoticed. I began to work as kitchen assistant in a shabby restaurant, then, I became worker in an assembly plant, to put money aside. I fought during 10 years to have the American nationality. During this time, I spent a part of my money to my family in Guatemala, and when I obtained the nationality, I opened a restaurant in San Francisco.
I’m still working in my restaurant, and my family will join me soon. I wish for all immigrants the same luck. Now, I feel apart of the US, because this country allows me to have a better life and now, I can say that I’m happy."
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Modifié par lucile83 le 15-12-2013 18:44
Message de lad posté le 15-12-2013 à 18:37:53 (S | E | F)
Bonjour !
J'ai un oral d'anglais prévu pour mardi sur l'immigration. J'ai essayé de corriger un maximum de fautes avec mes capacités, pouvez-vous me dire s'il y d'autres fautes, surtout d'orthographe, et dans l'utilisation des temps?
Merci beaucoup !
"I’m 36, but I was only 18 when I decided to leave my family in Guatemala to come to the US. Life in Guatemala was very difficult, especially because of the civil war which began in 1990.
I worked in coffee plantations and livestock farming. But my village found itself caught up in combat zones, some people were killed or deported, the cattle were slaughtered and the deforestation removed lots of plantations. My father and me didn’t have any work, and my family lived in the biggest poverty.
That’s why I decided to go to the US. I wanted to find a job for spending money to my parents and my brothers and sisters. I got in touch with a coyote who wanted 10 000 quetzal, let around 1 000 euros. I had to take out a loan. A few days after, I went to the appointment. We were about twenty, the coyote told us to go up into the bus which he had reserved.
We had to cross Mexico and Arizona’s desert. It was so punishing and I faced up to the hunger, the thirst, the tears and the distress. Several fellow travelers died of thirst in Arizona, or died of exhaustion during this long travel.
But I cope, and after two months, I finally arrived to Tucson, in the US. Then, I decided to adopt the American clothing, with blue jeans and hooded jacket, and I learnt some sentences in English, to go unnoticed. I began to work as kitchen assistant in a shabby restaurant, then, I became worker in an assembly plant, to put money aside. I fought during 10 years to have the American nationality. During this time, I spent a part of my money to my family in Guatemala, and when I obtained the nationality, I opened a restaurant in San Francisco.
I’m still working in my restaurant, and my family will join me soon. I wish for all immigrants the same luck. Now, I feel apart of the US, because this country allows me to have a better life and now, I can say that I’m happy."
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Modifié par lucile83 le 15-12-2013 18:44
Réponse: Oral / correction de gerondif, postée le 15-12-2013 à 23:47:58 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
erreurs en bleu, corrections en vert
"I’m 36, but I was only 18 when I decided to leave my family in Guatemala to come to the US. Life in Guatemala was very difficult, especially because of the civil war which began in 1990.
I worked in coffee plantations and livestock farming (farming me parait bizarre comme complément de lieu). But my village found itself caught up in combat zones, some people were killed or deported, the cattle were slaughtered and the deforestation removed lots of plantations. My father and me(I) didn’t have any work, and my family lived in the biggest poverty.(sonne français in dire poverty est l'expression consacrée)
That’s why I decided to go to the US. I wanted to find a job for spending (2 erreurs: to send, pas to spend, et pour + vereb exprimant un but, c'est to + base verbale: I went to the post-office to send a letter)money to my parents and my brothers and sisters. I got in touch with a coyote who wanted 10 000 quetzal, let(sens?) around 1 000 euros. I had to take out a loan. A few days after, I went to the appointment. We were about twenty, the coyote told us to go up into the bus which he had reserved.
We had to cross Mexico and Arizona’s desert (the Arizona desert). It was so punishing and I faced up to (I had to face irait mieux)
But I cope(mauvais choix de verbe, to manage irait mieux, et au prétérit), and after two months, I finally arrived to(in) Tucson, in the US. Then, I decided to adopt
I’m still working in my restaurant, and my family will join me soon. I wish
Réponse: Oral / correction de lad, postée le 16-12-2013 à 19:07:15 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup de votre aide
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