Correction /dialogue

Correction /dialogue
Message de caara posté le 06-12-2013 à 21:17:30 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
pouvez-vous m'aider à corriger mes fautes dans ce dialogue s'il vous plait? Merci d'avance!!!


-But you live in my house, I can decide about your own future !
-Papa, don't be selfish with me !
-I'm not selfish, far from it. I want the best for you.
-But for me, my dream is go to New York.
-My dream for you is to take care of your future husband, to have children and to marry with his.
-You let me outraged, I can realise your dream also. If I go to New York, I can meet an husband, marry and have children.
-Also, it's risky, very risky for a girl like you.
-A girl like me ? What it's that prejudice ?I'm twenty years old girl and I'm very independent and you say that ?
-Calm you my daughter, calm you please.
-No, I doesn't calm me. Anyway, I listen your arguments but my decision is made and I would go to New York even if it rains, windy or snowing. Now, I will pack my bags and I'm going to catch my train in two hours, if you want to say goodbye join me at the station or otherwise goodbye forever !

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Modifié par lucile83 le 06-12-2013 21:24

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Réponse: Correction /dialogue de caara, postée le 10-12-2013 à 17:40:52 (S | E)
de l'aide s'il vous plait, merci!!!!

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Réponse: Correction /dialogue de sherry48, postée le 11-12-2013 à 03:29:03 (S | E)
Hello.
Here are a few things to begin with.

But you live in my house, I can decide about your own future ! (Own is only for first person)...I will decide my own future.
-Papa, don't be selfish with me !
-I'm not selfish, far from it. I want the best for you.
-But for me, my dream is __go to New York.
-My dream for you is to take care of your future husband, to have children and to marry with his. His is a possessive adjective, used before a noun...His wife...his children.
-You let me outraged, I can realise your dream also. If I go to New York, I can meet an husband, marry and have children.
-Also, it's risky, very risky for a girl like you.
-A girl like me ? What it's that prejudice ?I'm twenty years old girl (adjective form)and I'm very independent and you say that ?
-Calm you my daughter, calm you please. (reflexive)
-No, I doesn't calm me. Anyway, I listen__ __ your arguments but my decision is made and I would go to New York even if it rains, windy or snowing (same form for all 3). Now, I will pack my bags and I'm going to catch my train in two hours, if you want to say goodbye join me at the station or otherwise, goodbye forever !
Sherry

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Réponse: Correction /dialogue de caara, postée le 11-12-2013 à 15:23:51 (S | E)
But you live in my house, I can decide about your future !
-Papa, don't be selfish with me !
-I'm not selfish, far from it. I want the best for you.
-But for me, my dream is to go to New York.
-My dream for you is to take care of your future husband, to have children and to marry with him.
-You let me ( what is the problem please ? )outraged, I can also realize your dream. If I go to New York, I can meet a husband, marry and have children.
-Also, it's risky, very risky for a girl like you.
-A girl like me ? What it's that prejudice ?I'm a girl of twenty years old and I'm very independent and you say that ?
-Calm down my daughter, calm down please.
-No, I don't calm down me. Anyway, I listened to your arguments but my decision is made and I would go to New York even if it rains, winds or snows. Now, I will pack my bags and I'm going to catch my train in two hours, if you want to say goodbye join me at the station or otherwise, goodbye forever !

thank you so much for your help

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Réponse: Correction /dialogue de singul4r, postée le 11-12-2013 à 15:51:52 (S | E)
Hello here is what I judge good !

-But you live in my house, I can decide about your future !
-Papa, don't be selfish with me !
-I'm not selfish, far from it. I want your best.
-But for me, my dream is to go to New York.
-My dream for you is to take care of your future husband, to have children and to marry with him.
-You let me outraged, I can also realise your dream. If I go to New York, I can meet a husband, get marry and have children.
-That is also risky, very risky for a girl like you.
-A girl like me ? What's that prejudice? I'm a twenty years old girl and I'm very independent and you say that to me OR (you tell me that) ?
-Calm you my daughter, calm you please.
-No, I can't calm myself. Anyway, I have listened to your arguments but I have already taken my decision and I will go to New York even if it rains, winds or snows. Now, I will pack my bags and I'm going to catch my train in two hours, if you want to say goodbye join me at the station otherwise goodbye forever !

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Réponse: Correction /dialogue de sherry48, postée le 11-12-2013 à 21:22:47 (S | E)
Hello again.

My dream for you is to take care of your future husband, to have children and to marry with him. (This sentence doesn't seem quite right...1 take care of your future husband, 2 have children and 3 get married? ...married to him rather than marry with).

-You let me ( what is the problem please ? I would translate that vous me permettez )outraged, I can also realize your dream. If I go to New York, I can meet a husband, marry and have children.

- -A girl like me ? What Is that prejudice ?I'm a girl of twenty years old /I'm a twenty-year-old girl/I'm twenty years old and I'm very independent and you say that ?

-No, I don't calm down me. Anyway, I listened to your arguments but my decision is made and I would go to New York even if it rains, winds or snows (winds doesn't work...you can use the verb to blow or use all adjectives, like windy).

Sherry

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Modifié par sherry48 le 11-12-2013 21:23

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Réponse: Correction /dialogue de caara, postée le 13-12-2013 à 22:30:31 (S | E)
thank you again for your help

You make me outraged? this is correct?

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Réponse: Correction /dialogue de lucile83, postée le 13-12-2013 à 22:49:01 (S | E)
Hello,

Vous avez déjà posé cette question
Lien internet

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