Correction/école du futur
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Message de clemsb7 posté le 11-11-2013 à 10:42:00 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai un devoir à rendre prochainement, est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait m'aider à corriger mes fautes (grammaire, orthographe, syntaxe, conjugaison..) s'il vous plaît?
Merci d'avance
I have a dream, that’s one day school will be like that.
First, it will be great I think if some schools were europeans school, I mean a school with class composed of different nationalities all together, this can be interesting to exchange, to communicate, to speak with other people and this can promote the opening minds. Moreover, this type of school is really great to practice a language, a common language for all people and maybe, it can be english.
Then, in my mind, timetable could be improved. Perhaps, we can begin at 10 :00 am or something like that on Monday because people who live far away have to wake up really early in the morning.
In my opinion, less marks or exams like the Baccalauréat but more appreciations will be good because thanks to that, some pupils will stop to work only for marks and i twill be nice for people who have stress during exams.
On top of that, I think that useful lessons for daily life, I’m not saying that lessons we have are useless !! But things like cooking lessons, housework lessons, news lessons… will be important.
Maybe, it will be nice if it was more school exchanges or school travel to improve languages or to have new knowledge. However, I know that all schools don’t have the budget to do things like that but it might be well and that can be great for people who have never left their area or country.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 11-11-2013 15:22
Message de clemsb7 posté le 11-11-2013 à 10:42:00 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai un devoir à rendre prochainement, est-ce que quelqu'un pourrait m'aider à corriger mes fautes (grammaire, orthographe, syntaxe, conjugaison..) s'il vous plaît?
Merci d'avance
I have a dream, that’s one day school will be like that.
First, it will be great I think if some schools were europeans school, I mean a school with class composed of different nationalities all together, this can be interesting to exchange, to communicate, to speak with other people and this can promote the opening minds. Moreover, this type of school is really great to practice a language, a common language for all people and maybe, it can be english.
Then, in my mind, timetable could be improved. Perhaps, we can begin at 10 :00 am or something like that on Monday because people who live far away have to wake up really early in the morning.
In my opinion, less marks or exams like the Baccalauréat but more appreciations will be good because thanks to that, some pupils will stop to work only for marks and i twill be nice for people who have stress during exams.
On top of that, I think that useful lessons for daily life, I’m not saying that lessons we have are useless !! But things like cooking lessons, housework lessons, news lessons… will be important.
Maybe, it will be nice if it was more school exchanges or school travel to improve languages or to have new knowledge. However, I know that all schools don’t have the budget to do things like that but it might be well and that can be great for people who have never left their area or country.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 11-11-2013 15:22
Réponse: Correction/école du futur de violet91, postée le 11-11-2013 à 12:02:10 (S | E)
Bonjour ,
Votre 'essay' est déjà intéressant et contient les ' argumentations ' globalement attendues .
. Plus qu 'à rectifier ici et là et étoffer . Êtes- vous tenue d'utiliser tant ou tant de mots ? 250 / 300 mots ?- Mettez des guillemets autour de '.
I have a dream ', cette phrase connotant d'emblée Martin Luther King . Vous imaginez une école idéale : donc , vos verbes sont au conditionnel pour la plupart . Vous pouvez ' jouer ' avec could , would ...- ponctuation à revoir : The dream I have is one day ....
- attention à l'orthographe du verbe ' pratiquer ' et celle du nom 'la pratique ' .
- N'importe quelle langue morte ou vivante : majuscule .
-Adj.nationalité toujours avec majuscule et comme les autres adj.anglais : invariable !
-to stop + gérondif : s'arrêter de # to stop to : s'arrêter pour ( faire autre chose )
- to get stressed / to feel anxious , nervous/ too much stress .
- Common lessons and everyday life lessons : bonne idée( certaines sont données en GB) ...et pourquoi ? What about citizenship ?
- détachez introduction et conclusion .
Voilà dans un premier temps . See you .
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