Correction/essai IELTS
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Message de dudupont posté le 25-06-2013 à 11:33:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je vais passer l'IELTS bientôt et je m'entraine sur la partie "writing" donc si quelqu'un pouvait m'aider pour me corriger ce serait très sympa.
Merci pour vos réponses.
Voilà l'essai:
Globalization has brought new habits and new manners of consumption. For instance we have been observing for many years that the part of the goods we consume which originate from brands widely increase.
Personally, I think the first reason of that augmentation is due to prices that brands can provide to consumer. Thanks to their size, brands companies can save money on raw materials and on the production whereas at the opposite little farmers cannot take profit of their size and have to sell at a higher price. Moreover, large companies can compensate little profits they take on each product by the quantity. The second reason I support is that we need of brands companies for the simple reason that the global population is growing fast. Specialists think we will not have enough resources in the future to feed everybody, and it seems clear that large companies are the ones that can produce an enormous quantity of food.
The harmful aspects of the brands development is that the competition between brands and local producers is unfair it looks like a fight between David and Goliath as a result the disappearing of little farmers. On the one hand we have brands companies which use sophisticated method to produce more and quickly as pesticides which are by the way damageable for the environment, and on the other hand local producers who try to produce quality.
In order to support little producers, we have to encourage the consumer to buy goods of local farmers, with the using of label for instance. On the other side, farmers have to communicate on the quality of their products and maybe one day the consumer will come back.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 25-06-2013 17:02
Message de dudupont posté le 25-06-2013 à 11:33:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Je vais passer l'IELTS bientôt et je m'entraine sur la partie "writing" donc si quelqu'un pouvait m'aider pour me corriger ce serait très sympa.
Merci pour vos réponses.
Voilà l'essai:
Globalization has brought new habits and new manners of consumption. For instance we have been observing for many years that the part of the goods we consume which originate from brands widely increase.
Personally, I think the first reason of that augmentation is due to prices that brands can provide to consumer. Thanks to their size, brands companies can save money on raw materials and on the production whereas at the opposite little farmers cannot take profit of their size and have to sell at a higher price. Moreover, large companies can compensate little profits they take on each product by the quantity. The second reason I support is that we need of brands companies for the simple reason that the global population is growing fast. Specialists think we will not have enough resources in the future to feed everybody, and it seems clear that large companies are the ones that can produce an enormous quantity of food.
The harmful aspects of the brands development is that the competition between brands and local producers is unfair it looks like a fight between David and Goliath as a result the disappearing of little farmers. On the one hand we have brands companies which use sophisticated method to produce more and quickly as pesticides which are by the way damageable for the environment, and on the other hand local producers who try to produce quality.
In order to support little producers, we have to encourage the consumer to buy goods of local farmers, with the using of label for instance. On the other side, farmers have to communicate on the quality of their products and maybe one day the consumer will come back.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 25-06-2013 17:02
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