Bac/correction argent
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Message de remitos123 posté le 08-05-2013 à 21:48:08 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je révise le bac, et j'ai écrit unexpression écrite essai sur l'argent pour m'entrainer. j'aimerais avoir de l'aide pour la correction (vocabulaire, grammaire..) Merci beaucoup ! Bonne soirée 
I think, that money has two aspects, a good side and a bad one. On the one hand, the money allows to have a better living conditions. He can’t live in need. In some countries such as the United States it allows be cured and thus be healthy. The money also allows pursue higher studies, in fact some people who do not have the means are obliged to opt-studies. As in India, where some women become surrogate mothers to continue studying. Money makes dream lot of people, especially in our current society is a consumer society, where money is the engine of consumption. be rich now, allows to complete a hardware need. To sum, In my opinion money can not happiness, but it allows be happy to some time.
On the other hand, money is bad, because those who have money don’t look at all the reality. They have excessive desires, and all their desires are carried out by people who are in some kind of slaves… This is why we can not say that money doing happiness. For example Norths countries, which are rich operates southern countries are poor countries. It is that shows us the caricature page 155, They show people belonging to two different worlds, people in rich countries, uses people in poor countries who are in need. and it doesn’t bother them. Instead they take advantage of the situation.
To conclude, The money can’t make the happiness, but can make happy by removing the need. But it in consequence on other person who are exploited.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 08-05-2013 21:52
Message de remitos123 posté le 08-05-2013 à 21:48:08 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je révise le bac, et j'ai écrit un
I think, that money has two aspects, a good side and a bad one. On the one hand, the money allows to have a better living conditions. He can’t live in need. In some countries such as the United States it allows be cured and thus be healthy. The money also allows pursue higher studies, in fact some people who do not have the means are obliged to opt-studies. As in India, where some women become surrogate mothers to continue studying. Money makes dream lot of people, especially in our current society is a consumer society, where money is the engine of consumption. be rich now, allows to complete a hardware need. To sum, In my opinion money can not happiness, but it allows be happy to some time.
On the other hand, money is bad, because those who have money don’t look at all the reality. They have excessive desires, and all their desires are carried out by people who are in some kind of slaves… This is why we can not say that money doing happiness. For example Norths countries, which are rich operates southern countries are poor countries. It is that shows us the caricature page 155, They show people belonging to two different worlds, people in rich countries, uses people in poor countries who are in need. and it doesn’t bother them. Instead they take advantage of the situation.
To conclude, The money can’t make the happiness, but can make happy by removing the need. But it in consequence on other person who are exploited.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 08-05-2013 21:52
Réponse: Bac/correction argent de lucile83, postée le 09-05-2013 à 22:51:29 (S | E)
Hello,
Errors in blue
I think, that money has two aspects, a good side and a bad one. On the one hand, the money allows to have a better living conditions. He can’t live in need. In some countries such as the United States it allows ... be cured and thus be healthy. The money also allows ... pursue higher studies, in fact some people who do not have the means are obliged to opt-studies. As in India, where some women become surrogate mothers to continue studying. Money makes dream lot of people, especially in our current society ... is a consumer society, where money is the engine of consumption. Be rich now allows to complete a hardware need. To sum ..., In my opinion money can not happiness, but it allows ... be happy
To be continued...
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