Correction Bac /Oral
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Message de danael45 posté le 21-04-2013 à 15:52:47 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pour mon bac oral en anglais
dans moins d'un mois, je dois parler de ce que j'ai fait en classe, sauf que je ne suis vraiment pas très doué en anglais et comme c'est le bac j'aimerais être sûr qu'il n'y a pas trop de fautes.
beaucoup à tous ceux qui pourront m'aider même un tout petit peu. C'est vraiment important. Je sais que c'est long mais le maximum qui sera corrigé m’aidera énormément.
Voici ce que j'ai écrit :
Hello sir/ madam
my name is Amaury and I will speak about the notion Idea of progress. To start Technology makes more and more progress every day but where are his limits? We will see that Technology is sometimes based on novels or films but some ideas can harm the world Balance.
First at all, we have seen the progress of technology in robots, like HRP-4C resembling a real little girl, very expressive and designed to help men. It’s amazing. Warning, we should not mix it up robots (entirely mechanical) and cyborg (Human being with a robot part). In an Oxford’s hospital, Kevin Warwick, professor, can control a wheelchair with a chip implanted and connect to the Internet. Like the film “I robot”, The Human being can be overwhelmed by technology and become dependent on robots.
I heard a BBC report about the Hugh Herr’s story. He is a professor and after a climbing accident. His 2 legs were amputated. Thanks to technology in his body, he can walk again.
The science fiction novel from 1819 to 2011, advance science. Irving Pichnel’s novel in 1950 “destination Moon” tells the Neil Armstrong’s adventure in advance. His first step on the Moon in 1969.
When we not mastered technology, there may some drifts like the Aldous Huxley’s novel “Brave new world” in 1931 about Human Cloning. In 1997, Dolly is a first sheep that has been cloned.
Now we can choose genetically, instead of the Nature, his own child: his gender, the color of his eyes and his hair, but also without genetic disease. The cover of the magazine Newsweek is about a mother who had 3 boys and would like a girl. Without limits we can imagine a society with only blond blue-eyed boys.
In conclusion I would say that if technology advances, it’s an aid to human being, for his life expectancy but by dint of modified the Nature by genetically manipulations, without control, drifts are real and dangerous. It takes all sorts to make a world and as the saying goes “We must to let nature take its course”
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Modifié par lucile83 le 21-04-2013 17:59
Message de danael45 posté le 21-04-2013 à 15:52:47 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Pour mon bac oral en anglais
dans moins d'un mois, je dois parler de ce que j'ai fait en classe, sauf que je ne suis vraiment pas très doué en anglais et comme c'est le bac j'aimerais être sûr qu'il n'y a pas trop de fautes. beaucoup à tous ceux qui pourront m'aider même un tout petit peu. C'est vraiment important. Je sais que c'est long mais le maximum qui sera corrigé m’aidera énormément. Voici ce que j'ai écrit :
Hello sir/ madam
my name is Amaury and I will speak about the notion Idea of progress. To start Technology makes more and more progress every day but where are his limits? We will see that Technology is sometimes based on novels or films but some ideas can harm the world Balance.
First at all, we have seen the progress of technology in robots, like HRP-4C resembling a real little girl, very expressive and designed to help men. It’s amazing. Warning, we should not mix it up robots (entirely mechanical) and cyborg (Human being with a robot part). In an Oxford’s hospital, Kevin Warwick, professor, can control a wheelchair with a chip implanted and connect to the Internet. Like the film “I robot”, The Human being can be overwhelmed by technology and become dependent on robots.
I heard a BBC report about the Hugh Herr’s story. He is a professor and after a climbing accident. His 2 legs were amputated. Thanks to technology in his body, he can walk again.
The science fiction novel from 1819 to 2011, advance science. Irving Pichnel’s novel in 1950 “destination Moon” tells the Neil Armstrong’s adventure in advance. His first step on the Moon in 1969.
When we not mastered technology, there may some drifts like the Aldous Huxley’s novel “Brave new world” in 1931 about Human Cloning. In 1997, Dolly is a first sheep that has been cloned.
Now we can choose genetically, instead of the Nature, his own child: his gender, the color of his eyes and his hair, but also without genetic disease. The cover of the magazine Newsweek is about a mother who had 3 boys and would like a girl. Without limits we can imagine a society with only blond blue-eyed boys.
In conclusion I would say that if technology advances, it’s an aid to human being, for his life expectancy but by dint of modified the Nature by genetically manipulations, without control, drifts are real and dangerous. It takes all sorts to make a world and as the saying goes “We must to let nature take its course”
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 21-04-2013 17:59
Réponse: Correction Bac /Oral de masako, postée le 21-04-2013 à 17:57:19 (S | E)
Hello! Je ne suis pas sûre de pouvoir t'aider pour tout le texte mais voici quelques tournures/phrases que tu pourrais améliorer 
Hello sir/ madam my name is Amaury and I will speak (on dit plutôt "talk about") about the notion Idea of progress. To start (je ne suis pas sûre qu'un Anglais commencerait par "To start", je pense que tu devrais utiliser une tournure plus "anglaise")Technology makes more and more progress every day but where are his ("his" est pour un masculin, "Technology" est neutre...) limits? We will see that Technology is sometimes based on novels or films but some ideas can harm the world Balance.
First at all (il ne faut pas utiliser "at" ici), we have seen the progress of technology in robots, like HRP-4C resembling (j'aurais plutôt utilisé quelque chose comme "which looks like" mais tu as peut être raison ) a real little girl, very expressive and designed to help men. It’s amazing. Warning (ce n'est pas l'expression la plus appropriée, il faudrait utiliser autre chose) , we should not mix it up robots (entirely mechanical) and cyborg (Human being with a robot part). In an Oxford’s hospital, Kevin Warwick, professor, can control a wheelchair with a chip implanted and connect to the Internet. (il se connecte à Internet ou la puce est connectée?) Like the film “I robot”, The Human being can be overwhelmed by technology and become dependent on robots.
I heard a BBC report about the Hugh Herr’s story. He is a professor and after a climbing accident, his 2 legs were amputated. Thanks to technology in his body, he can walk again.
The science fiction novel from 1819 to 2011, advance science. Irving Pichnel’s novel in 1950 “destination Moon” tells the Neil Armstrong’s adventure in advance. His first step on the Moon in 1969.
When we not mastered technology, there may some drifts like the Aldous Huxley’s novel “Brave new world” in 1931 about Human Cloning. In 1997, Dolly is a first sheep that has been cloned.
Now we can choose genetically, instead of the Nature, his own child: his gender, the color of his eyes and his hair, but also without genetic disease. The cover of the magazine Newsweek is about a mother who had 3 boys and would like a girl. Without limits we can imagine a society with only blond blue-eyed boys.
In conclusion I would say that if technology advances, it’s an aid to human being, for his life expectancy but by dint of modified the Nature by genetically manipulations, without control, drifts are real and dangerous. It takes all sorts to make a world and as the saying goes “We must to let nature take its course”
Réponse: Correction Bac /Oral de danael45, postée le 21-04-2013 à 21:40:06 (S | E)
je crois que la puce se connecte à internet et merci pour tes remarques
Réponse: Correction Bac /Oral de masako, postée le 22-04-2013 à 16:26:38 (S | E)
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Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais
First at all (il ne faut pas utiliser "at" ici), we have seen the progress of technology in robots, like HRP-4C resembling (j'aurais plutôt utilisé quelque chose comme "which looks like" mais tu as peut être raison
) a real little girl, very expressive and designed to help men. It’s amazing. Warning (ce n'est pas l'expression la plus appropriée, il faudrait utiliser autre chose) , we should not mix it up robots (entirely mechanical) and cyborg (Human being with a robot part). In an Oxford’s hospital, Kevin Warwick, professor, can control a wheelchair with a chip implanted and connect to the Internet. (il se connecte à Internet ou la puce est connectée?) Like the film “I robot”, The Human being can be overwhelmed by technology and become dependent on robots.I heard a BBC report about the Hugh Herr’s story. He is a professor and after a climbing accident, his 2 legs were amputated. Thanks to technology in his body, he can walk again.
The science fiction novel from 1819 to 2011, advance science. Irving Pichnel’s novel in 1950 “destination Moon” tells the Neil Armstrong’s adventure in advance. His first step on the Moon in 1969.
When we not mastered technology, there may some drifts like the Aldous Huxley’s novel “Brave new world” in 1931 about Human Cloning. In 1997, Dolly is a first sheep that has been cloned.
Now we can choose genetically, instead of the Nature, his own child: his gender, the color of his eyes and his hair, but also without genetic disease. The cover of the magazine Newsweek is about a mother who had 3 boys and would like a girl. Without limits we can imagine a society with only blond blue-eyed boys.
In conclusion I would say that if technology advances, it’s an aid to human being, for his life expectancy but by dint of modified the Nature by genetically manipulations, without control, drifts are real and dangerous. It takes all sorts to make a world and as the saying goes “We must to let nature take its course”
Réponse: Correction Bac /Oral de danael45, postée le 21-04-2013 à 21:40:06 (S | E)
je crois que la puce se connecte à internet et merci pour tes remarques
Réponse: Correction Bac /Oral de masako, postée le 22-04-2013 à 16:26:38 (S | E)
Dans ce cas, si la puce est connectée à internet alors il faut mettre "connect" en -ed aussi donc cela donne: "a chip implanted and connected to the Internet".
De rien! J'espère que ces remarques ont pu t'aider.
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