Oral Bac /Correction
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Message de lauraa94 posté le 14-04-2013 à 22:07:37 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
voici mon texte pour mon oral d'anglais du BAC, sur la notion mythes et héros.
Pouvez-vous me dire s'il vous plaît ce que vous en pensez et surtout s'il y a des fautes.
Merci pour vos réponses!
According to the dictionary definition a myth is a traditional story, concerning the early history of people or explaining a natural or social phenomenon, and typically involving supernatural beings or events.
Then a hero in mythology and folklore, a person of superhuman qualifies who is admired for his courage or extraordinary achievements. In the modern world, a hero has lost its ancient meaning.
It now means someone who is courageous. Heroes are « heroic », they have «heroims». They help in saving people or society from people, villains or natural disasters, like superman or batman.A hero can also be someone who is helpful, polite or helps people who need it. The word is used in the sports world to mean an extraordinary player or an athlete. Sometimes, the main character of a story is called a « hero » in a book or movies, like Harry Potter.
To illustrate the notion of « myths and heroes » I'm going to present two characters considered as hero Steve Jobs and Abbe Pierre. In first Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs was an orphan and he was adopted by a lower middle class family. He dropped out from school and he didn°t graduate from university. He had nothing to succeed, he starts from scratch. Steve Jobs revolutionised the world of computers with, Apple. Over the years he climbed the social ladder. He influenced people's lives with his achievements. Steve Jobs is considered like a hero because to make the top he was and hard-worker, career-driven with strong-willed. Today he remains a role model, an example of success.
Then, I’m going to talk about Abbe Pierre. Abbe Pierre was a French Catholic priest. During the World War II he was a resistant and the founder of the Emmaus association. He fought all his life to help the homeless. The Emmaus association was founded by Abbe Pierre in 1949 to fight against poverty and exclusion. He influences the society by his achievements and by his will-power. He was nicknamed « the brother of the poor » Abbe Pierre has shown courage and generosity during his life, that is why he was considered as a hero, a model, an example
To conclude, the history was marked by people who were defended the populations. They are today considered as a hero by all people. But everyone can be the hero of someone. A hero can be an ordinary person like me or you. My heroes are the different persons, anonymous persons who fight against the inequalities in the world for example in South Africa.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 14-04-2013 22:13
Message de lauraa94 posté le 14-04-2013 à 22:07:37 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
voici mon texte pour mon oral d'anglais du BAC, sur la notion mythes et héros.
Pouvez-vous me dire s'il vous plaît ce que vous en pensez et surtout s'il y a des fautes.
Merci pour vos réponses!
According to the dictionary definition a myth is a traditional story, concerning the early history of people or explaining a natural or social phenomenon, and typically involving supernatural beings or events.
Then a hero in mythology and folklore, a person of superhuman qualifies who is admired for his courage or extraordinary achievements. In the modern world, a hero has lost its ancient meaning.
It now means someone who is courageous. Heroes are « heroic », they have «heroims». They help in saving people or society from people, villains or natural disasters, like superman or batman.A hero can also be someone who is helpful, polite or helps people who need it. The word is used in the sports world to mean an extraordinary player or an athlete. Sometimes, the main character of a story is called a « hero » in a book or movies, like Harry Potter.
To illustrate the notion of « myths and heroes » I'm going to present two characters considered as hero Steve Jobs and Abbe Pierre. In first Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs was an orphan and he was adopted by a lower middle class family. He dropped out from school and he didn°t graduate from university. He had nothing to succeed, he starts from scratch. Steve Jobs revolutionised the world of computers with, Apple. Over the years he climbed the social ladder. He influenced people's lives with his achievements. Steve Jobs is considered like a hero because to make the top he was and hard-worker, career-driven with strong-willed. Today he remains a role model, an example of success.
Then, I’m going to talk about Abbe Pierre. Abbe Pierre was a French Catholic priest. During the World War II he was a resistant and the founder of the Emmaus association. He fought all his life to help the homeless. The Emmaus association was founded by Abbe Pierre in 1949 to fight against poverty and exclusion. He influences the society by his achievements and by his will-power. He was nicknamed « the brother of the poor » Abbe Pierre has shown courage and generosity during his life, that is why he was considered as a hero, a model, an example
To conclude, the history was marked by people who were defended the populations. They are today considered as a hero by all people. But everyone can be the hero of someone. A hero can be an ordinary person like me or you. My heroes are the different persons, anonymous persons who fight against the inequalities in the world for example in South Africa.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 14-04-2013 22:13
Réponse: Oral Bac /Correction de nefben, postée le 26-04-2013 à 19:18:09 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Tu n'as pas mis de problématique et tu ne réponds donc à aucune problématique. Cependant, je pense bien que c'est obligatoire. Une problématique pour le thème Mythes et Héros pourrait être : Why does a society create myths and heroes ? How can myths and heroes
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Modifié par lucile83 le 26-04-2013 22:09
Réponse: Oral Bac /Correction de violet91, postée le 26-04-2013 à 19:51:08 (S | E)
Hello, they have «heroims( inverse)». They help in( with ou rien) saving people or society , like superman or batman. (majuscules) To illustrate the notion of « myths and heroes »
I'm going to present two characters considered as hero(pl) : Steve Jobs and Abbé pierre . In ( supprimez) first(majucule) Steve Jobs.h e didn°t( apostrophe) graduate from( autre préposition) university. like (as, plutôt)a hero because to make the top he was and hard-worker, career-driven with strong-willed( confus ; à structurer autrement). Today he remains a role model, an example of success.
Then, I’m going to talk about Abbe Pierre. Abbe Pierre was a French Catholic priest. During the( supprimez ,le nombre II sert de déterminant = nom propre) World War II)/ fight against( inutile : verb transitif) poverty and exclusion. He influences(temps) the society by his achievements and by his will-power. He was nicknamed « the brother of the poor » Abbe Pierre has shown ( simple past)courage and generosity during his life ( all his life), that is why he was( present) considered as a hero, a model, an example
To conclude, the(supprimez) history was marked by people who were ( inutile : voix active)defended the populations. They are today( en début de phrase) considered as a(supprimez) hero(pl.) by all people. But everyone can be the hero of someone. A hero can be an ordinary person like me or you. My heroes are the different persons ) (avec grande modération...; je ne vois pas bien la relation)
--- Il faudrait élargir la définition de mythe ; pensez à des acteurs, inventeurs, sportifs morts en pleine gloire et qui continuent de fasciner les gens . (James Dean, Marilyn..). Les héros légendaires et l'Antiquité ( références en psychanalyse ou/ expressions/ comparaisons populaires) . Je ne pense pas qu'il faille insister sur le héros littéraire le sujet est ' myths and heroes'. Les faiseurs d'exploits pour la cause humaine ou exploits tout courts : oui. L'être humain a besoin de repères As a child needs models to grow up, it is also important for women and men to admire this or that person as a model to structure themselves . Le présent ne tient debout que gràce à la connaissance du passé, à l' Histoire Il est bon de terminer par votre propre ressenti à cet égard (très prudemment)et une plus large question ouvrant sur un thème lié à celui que vous venez de traiter.
J'espère que cela peut vous aider.
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