Correction/entrée école
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Message de so3663 posté le 19-03-2013 à 17:24:45 (S | E | F)
bonjour,
Je vais passer un entretien en anglais pour une école de commerce sur moi, mon parcours... j'ai décidé de m'y préparer au maximum et j'ai rédigé un genre de lettre de motivation.
Donc j'espère vraiment que l'on puisse me dire si c'est grammaticalement correct et s'il y a des choses que je dois modifier.
Merci d'avance
I have an experience of international because I have traveled many countries, examples: I have been to Greece, New York, Tunisia, turkey and London. It permit me to interact others people and to discover various cultures. New York has been my favorite trip because I have discovered lots of wonderful building and places. And the population is very welcoming. It was my dream since I was little to go in United States.
I don’t have to work experience and this is why the volunteer organization of business school interest me because it’s as work experience, it learns to teamwork and also to help out. For example to join an organization as humanitarian or business.
I am inquiring into the possibility of a summer job at bank because I’m interested in line of work, it’s dynamic activity and they are not routine.
I want to integrate this business school for his good education and a major asset of business school is it international because permit me to travel abroad contrary to college preparatory where it’s just learning. Finally, I choosing this school business because she is famous, has a good placing and propose personal development it’s very useful to know and to help us in the future personal or professional. This school will allow me to guide and to capacity easily to join on labor market.
I am dynamic, I practice a lot of sports, examples: running, dancing, doing gymnastic and playing badminton once a week. I like to be on the go.
I am positive and optimistic because I don’t lose hope and not to lower hands in face of difficulties. (examples: to something I don’t understand as a difficult test or a personal problem).
Besides, my hobbies are the shopping, reading, cinema and sport, is a good way to relax.
I am inquiring into the possibility of a summer job at bank because I’m interested in line of work, it’s dynamic activity and they are not routine. I would like to work in finance and business because this is activities interesting with the possibility to progress in my line of work, evolve professionally. This is why after my bachelor I would like to integrate the master audit and finance of this school.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 19-03-2013 17:29
Message de so3663 posté le 19-03-2013 à 17:24:45 (S | E | F)
bonjour,
Je vais passer un entretien en anglais pour une école de commerce sur moi, mon parcours... j'ai décidé de m'y préparer au maximum et j'ai rédigé un genre de lettre de motivation.
Donc j'espère vraiment que l'on puisse me dire si c'est grammaticalement correct et s'il y a des choses que je dois modifier.
Merci d'avance
I have an experience of international because I have traveled many countries, examples: I have been to Greece, New York, Tunisia, turkey and London. It permit me to interact others people and to discover various cultures. New York has been my favorite trip because I have discovered lots of wonderful building and places. And the population is very welcoming. It was my dream since I was little to go in United States.
I don’t have to work experience and this is why the volunteer organization of business school interest me because it’s as work experience, it learns to teamwork and also to help out. For example to join an organization as humanitarian or business.
I am inquiring into the possibility of a summer job at bank because I’m interested in line of work, it’s dynamic activity and they are not routine.
I want to integrate this business school for his good education and a major asset of business school is it international because permit me to travel abroad contrary to college preparatory where it’s just learning. Finally, I choosing this school business because she is famous, has a good placing and propose personal development it’s very useful to know and to help us in the future personal or professional. This school will allow me to guide and to capacity easily to join on labor market.
I am dynamic, I practice a lot of sports, examples: running, dancing, doing gymnastic and playing badminton once a week. I like to be on the go.
I am positive and optimistic because I don’t lose hope and not to lower hands in face of difficulties. (examples: to something I don’t understand as a difficult test or a personal problem).
Besides, my hobbies are the shopping, reading, cinema and sport, is a good way to relax.
I am inquiring into the possibility of a summer job at bank because I’m interested in line of work, it’s dynamic activity and they are not routine. I would like to work in finance and business because this is activities interesting with the possibility to progress in my line of work, evolve professionally. This is why after my bachelor I would like to integrate the master audit and finance of this school.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 19-03-2013 17:29
Réponse: Correction/entrée école de notrepere, postée le 20-03-2013 à 05:15:13 (S | E)
Bonjour I have an experience of international(1) because I have traveled to many countries, examples: I have been to Greece, New York, Tunisia, Turkey and London. It permit (2) me to interact [mot manquant] others people and to discover various cultures. New York has been (2) my favorite trip because I have discovered (2) lots of wonderful buildings and places. And the population is very welcoming. It was my dream since I was little to go to the United States.
I don’t have to work experience(1) and this is why the volunteer organization of business school (3) interest (6) me because it’s as (1) work experience, it learns (4) to teamwork and also to help out
. For example to join an organization as humanitarian or business (5).I am inquiring into the possibility of a summer job at bank because I’m interested in [...] line of work, it’s dynamic activity and they are not routine.
Ca suffit pour le moment.
(1) cet extrait n'a aucun sens
(2) temps
(3) ordre
(4) autre verbe
(5) placer avant le nom 'organization'
(6) accorde
Réponse: Correction/entrée école de so3663, postée le 20-03-2013 à 19:16:12 (S | E)
I have traveled to many countries, examples: I have been to Greece, New York, Tunisia, Turkey and London. It will permit me to interact with others people and to discover various cultures. New York has been my favorite trip because I discovered lots of wonderful building and places. And the population is very welcoming. It was my dream since I was little to go to the United States.
I didn’t have an opportunity to work and this is why the business school of volunteer organization interests me because it’s equivalent to work experience, it works to teamwork and to help the others. For example, to join humanitarian or business organization.
et maintenant c'est mieux?!
ps: merci beaucoup pour votre aide
Réponse: Correction/entrée école de sherry48, postée le 20-03-2013 à 21:14:20 (S | E)
Hello.
I think what you wanted to begin with was...I have some _____ _____, because...
Sherry
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Modifié par sherry48 le 21-03-2013 20:59
Instead of 'I have an experience of international'...
Réponse: Correction/entrée école de so3663, postée le 21-03-2013 à 18:25:52 (S | E)
Pour quelle phrase utiliser "I have some" ?
Réponse: Correction/entrée école de lucile83, postée le 21-03-2013 à 22:29:49 (S | E)
Hello,
Pour votre 1ere phrase.Vous connaissez bien votre texte?
I have an experience of international because I have traveled
...Réponse: Correction/entrée école de so3663, postée le 21-03-2013 à 23:12:38 (S | E)
Oui j'avais bien compris mais j'ai modifié le début de cette phrase dans le 2eme texte.
Sinon, est-ce que vous voyez d'autres fautes dans la deuxième partie du texte s'il vous plaît?
Réponse: Correction/entrée école de sherry48, postée le 22-03-2013 à 02:53:37 (S | E)
Hello.
Here are a few more things to look at.
I have traveled to many countries,___ examples: I have been to Greece, New York, Tunisia, Turkey and London. It will permit (why future tense ?)me to interact with others people and to discover various cultures. New York has been
(simple past) my favorite trip because I discovered lots of wonderful building_ and places. And the population is very welcoming. It was my dream since I was little to go to the United States. I didn’t have an opportunity to work and this is why the business school of volunteer organization interests me because it’s equivalent to work experience, it works to
teamwork and to help Sherry
Réponse: Correction/entrée école de so3663, postée le 22-03-2013 à 18:52:30 (S | E)
I have traveled to many countries, examples: I have been to Greece, New York, Tunisia, Turkey and London. It permits me to interact with others people and to discover various cultures. New York was my favorite trip because I discovered lots of wonderful building and places. And the population is very welcoming. It was my dream since I was little to go to the United States.
Est-ce mieux?
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