Correction /Lord of Sorgoth
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Message de iradei posté le 16-03-2013 à 09:52:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'aurais voulu je voudrais savoir si le texte ci-dessous que j'ai imaginé est grammaticalement correct.
Merci pour vos réponses.
The world was ruled by seven kingdoms which all had their own wealth and authority. Although most of them tried to leave in peace, the lord of Sorgoth had the dark ambition to extend his power over the lands.
After learning the secret of dark margic, he led his people to darkness. There he made alliances with numerous creatures of the dark and when he finally managed to create the mightiest army of all time, he unleashed his forces.
After having destroyed two of the most powerful kingdoms, the lord of Sorgoth, blinded by his power, attacked the four others which had gathered a trelendously potent army.
As the four kingdoms forces were on their way to fight against this evil, they were ambushed, and it was there, in the forest of Maloria, that the fate of the entire world had been decided.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-03-2013 10:42
Message de iradei posté le 16-03-2013 à 09:52:54 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Merci pour vos réponses.
The world was ruled by seven kingdoms which all had their own wealth and authority. Although most of them tried to leave in peace, the lord of Sorgoth had the dark ambition to extend his power over the lands.
After learning the secret of dark margic, he led his people to darkness. There he made alliances with numerous creatures of the dark and when he finally managed to create the mightiest army of all time, he unleashed his forces.
After having destroyed two of the most powerful kingdoms, the lord of Sorgoth, blinded by his power, attacked the four others which had gathered a trelendously potent army.
As the four kingdoms forces were on their way to fight against this evil, they were ambushed, and it was there, in the forest of Maloria, that the fate of the entire world had been decided.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-03-2013 10:42
Réponse: Correction /Lord of Sorgoth de sherry48, postée le 16-03-2013 à 12:12:54 (S | E)
Hello.
The world was ruled by seven kingdoms which all had their own wealth and authority. Although most of them tried to leave
in peace, the lord of Sorgoth had the dark ambition to extend his power over the lands.(plural?) After learning the secret of dark margic, he led his people to(I don't think this is the best preposition) darkness. There he made alliances with numerous creatures of the dark and when he finally managed to create the mightiest army of all time, he unleashed his forces.
After having destroyed two of the most powerful kingdoms, the lord of Sorgoth, blinded by his power, attacked the four others which had gathered a trelendously potent
(a better synonym ) army.As the four kingdoms
forces were on their way to fight against this evil, they were ambushed. decided.Sherry
Réponse: Correction /Lord of Sorgoth de iradei, postée le 16-03-2013 à 13:05:20 (S | E)
Ah, oui, effectivement j'ai fait quelques fautes de frappe (live, magic, tremendously). Cependant, je ne comprend pas ce qui ne va pas pour les trois dernières :
-Potent = mighty = powerful ?
-The four kingdoms's forces ?
-The fate of the entire world had been decided ?
Réponse: Correction /Lord of Sorgoth de sherry48, postée le 16-03-2013 à 13:23:58 (S | E)
Hello.
Yes, the first one is OK. For the second, is kingdom's singular or plural? For the third, take a look at this link. There are many examples, but look for the one like 'had been decided'.
Lien internet
Sherry
Réponse: Correction /Lord of Sorgoth de iradei, postée le 16-03-2013 à 14:52:20 (S | E)
Is that all right : As the four kingdoms' forces...
I still don't understand why "had been decided" isn't correct because according to your link the sentence : " many cars had been repaired " is OK.
Réponse: Correction /Lord of Sorgoth de sherry48, postée le 16-03-2013 à 17:00:01 (S | E)
Hello.
This is a correct sentence...When they arrived, the fate of the entire world had been decided.
In this example, the fate had already been determined, then they arrived.
In the sentence you mentioned from the link...Many cars had been repaired by George before he received his mechanic's license. You see that same sense, the cars were repaired, then he got his license.
It was there, in the forest of Maloria, that the fate of the entire world had been decided. It lacks that sense of an action occurring prior to another action in the past.
The fate of the entire world had been decided in the forest of Maloria. OK
Sherry
Réponse: Correction /Lord of Sorgoth de iradei, postée le 16-03-2013 à 17:25:12 (S | E)
Got it, thanks a lot.
Réponse: Correction /Lord of Sorgoth de nori24, postée le 18-03-2013 à 07:13:41 (S | E)
Hello,
If you allow me to make a small correction: I should say: and it was there that the fate of the world was decided....because they came, they fought and then the fate of the world was decided.
It happened after the fight, not
Thank you.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 18-03-2013 07:21
Réponse: Correction /Lord of Sorgoth de sherry48, postée le 18-03-2013 à 11:23:47 (S | E)
Hello nori24.
When I made the first correction, I had in mind... it was there, in the forest of Maloria, that the fate of the entire world was decided.
However, it seemed iradei wanted a way to make 'had been decided' acceptable. So, we agree. Sherry
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