Correction / Norman Rockwell
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Message de chiguer posté le 22-01-2013 à 18:53:15 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
j'ouvre un autre sujet (le modo peut supprimer l'ancien) concernant le devoir que je dois effectuer sur le célèbre peintre Norman Rockwell. Il s'agit de faire un dossier afin de le présenter en fin d'année pour un oral d'anglais qui dure 5 minutes, la formatrice nous demande quelque chose de simple, pas compliqué avec des mots simples, une courte présentation de l'auteur ainsi qu'une description d'une de ses oeuvres (j'ai choisi "la petite fille noire"). Dans un premier temps je vous fais part de la courte présentation de l'auteur et après correction, j'attaque l'oeuvre.
Je souhaiterais votre avis concernant cette brève présentation, ainsi que votre savoir faire en terme de vocabulaire et d'orthographe.
Merci encore.
Norman Rockwell was an American painter and illustrator most famous for his covers illustrations. He was born in New York City in 1894 and he died in 1978, he was 84. Well-known for his paintings as having artistic illustration and hyperrealism with themes like everyday American life or civils rights poverty and music. Later these artistic themes would be more political. He was the first of Jarvis Warring Rockwell and Nancy Hill's two sons. His father worked for a textile firm and his mother was a housewife. He had a very religious education; his parents were of a middle class social background and were very religious. When he was student he was nicknamed by the others students “the Deacon” because he was so serious when working on his art.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-01-2013 19:34
Hum...vous savez ce qu'elle pense la modo?? ..make an educated guess!
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Modifié par lucile83 le 23-01-2013 20:52
Merci de ne pas modifier ce que 'la modo' a modifié!
Message de chiguer posté le 22-01-2013 à 18:53:15 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
j'ouvre un autre sujet (le modo peut supprimer l'ancien) concernant le devoir que je dois effectuer sur le célèbre peintre Norman Rockwell. Il s'agit de faire un dossier afin de le présenter en fin d'année pour un oral d'anglais qui dure 5 minutes, la formatrice nous demande quelque chose de simple, pas compliqué avec des mots simples, une courte présentation de l'auteur ainsi qu'une description d'une de ses oeuvres (j'ai choisi "la petite fille noire"). Dans un premier temps je vous fais part de la courte présentation de l'auteur et après correction, j'attaque l'oeuvre.
Je souhaiterais votre avis concernant cette brève présentation, ainsi que votre savoir faire en terme de vocabulaire et d'orthographe.
Merci encore.
Norman Rockwell was an American painter and illustrator most famous for his covers illustrations. He was born in New York City in 1894 and he died in 1978, he was 84. Well-known for his paintings as having artistic illustration and hyperrealism with themes like everyday American life or civils rights poverty and music. Later these artistic themes would be more political. He was the first of Jarvis Warring Rockwell and Nancy Hill's two sons. His father worked for a textile firm and his mother was a housewife. He had a very religious education; his parents were of a middle class social background and were very religious. When he was student he was nicknamed by the others students “the Deacon” because he was so serious when working on his art.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-01-2013 19:34
Hum...vous savez ce qu'elle pense la modo?? ..make an educated guess!
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 23-01-2013 20:52
Merci de ne pas modifier ce que 'la modo' a modifié!
Réponse: Correction / Norman Rockwell de gerondif, postée le 22-01-2013 à 19:12:15 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
je sens que la "modo" (oui, c'est une, et d'ailleurs, je vais tenter d'abréger son prénom xxxxx j'en ai la chair de poule rien que de l'écrire!!) pour voir ce que ça fait de se faire écharper
) va apprécier cette abréviation.Comme le dit Brettdallen, les faits bruts d'une biographie sont peu intéressants. On s'en moque qu'il soit le deuxième fils de untel dont le métier était.... Si vous vouliez mettre en perspective les phrases avec des mots de liaison comme: bien que ses parents soient d'origine modeste, il eut une éducation très religieuse , ce qui le formera à dénoncer l'injustice (j'invente),ou bien , puisque ses parents étaient très religieux, il reçut lui aussi........, ce serait mieux.
Norman Rockwell was an American painter and illustrator most famous for his covers illustrations. He was born in New York City in 1894 and he died in 1978, he was 84. Well-known for his paintings as having(sens?) artistic illustration and hyperrealism with themes like everyday American life or civils rights poverty and music, oui mais il n'y a pas de proposition principale et pas de verbe). Later these artistic themes would be more political. He was the first of Jarvis Warring Rockwell and Nancy Hill's two sons. His father worked for a textile firm and his mother was a housewife. He had a very religious education;(oui et alors?) his parents were of a middle class social background and were very religious. When he was a student he was nicknamed “the Deacon” by the others students because he was so serious when working on his art.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-01-2013 19:31
Sorry gerondif, ce surnom était celui d'un ami disparu trop tôt...
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Modifié par gerondif le 22-01-2013 19:39
désolé pour l'impair!
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-01-2013 19:41
Never mind; you couldn't guess.
Réponse: Correction / Norman Rockwell de chiguer, postée le 22-01-2013 à 20:05:29 (S | E)
Hello,
J'ai fait quelques corrections et suivi vos conseils (enfin j'ai essayé)
Norman Rockwell was an American painter and illustrator most famous for his cover illustrations. He was born in New York City in 1894 and he died in 1978, he was 84. Well-known for his paintings that had meaning for artistic the illustration and the hyperrealism with themes like everyday American life or civils rights poverty and music. Later these artistic themes would be more political. He was the first of Jarvis Warring Rockwell and Nancy Hill's two sons. His father worked for a textile firm and his mother was a housewife. although his parents were of a middle class social background he had a very education religious. When he was a student he was nicknamed by the others students “the Deacon” because he was so serious when working on his art
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-01-2013 21:03
Réponse: Correction / Norman Rockwell de gerondif, postée le 22-01-2013 à 23:18:51 (S | E)
Hello,
vous êtes désespérant, je vous dis que j'invente une situation avec "bien que" ou "puisque" et vous la transcrivez telle quelle dans votre texte. Il n'y a quasiment rien de changé dedans! En fait, les classes moyennes sont souvent assez croyantes, donc le bien que ne se justifie pas vraiment.
Vous prenez des phrases, vous les traduisez, et vous les juxtaposez et parfois , elles n'ont pas de sens:
Norman Rockwell was an American painter and illustrator most famous for his cover illustrations. He was born in New York City in 1894 and he died in 1978, he was 84. Well-known for his paintings that had meaning for artistic the illustration and the hyperrealism with themes like everyday American life or civils rights,(virgule) poverty and music. Later these artistic themes would be more political. He was the first of Jarvis Warring Rockwell and Nancy Hill's two sons. His father worked for a textile firm and his mother was a housewife. although his parents were of a middle class social background he had a very education religious.(à l'envers) When he was a student he was nicknamed by the others students “the Deacon” because he was so serious when working on his art
regardez cette phrase:Well-known for his paintings that had meaning for artistic the illustration and the hyperrealism with themes like everyday American life or civils rights poverty and music.
traduction: bien connu pour ses toiles qui avaient sens pour artistique l'illustration et l'hyperréalisme avec des thèmes comme la vie américaine de tous les jours,ou les droits civiques,la pauvreté et la musique. Si vous ne mettez pas "il était" en début de phrase, elle s'arrête au milieu du désert, car c'est une subordonnée sans principale.
Réponse: Correction / Norman Rockwell de chiguer, postée le 23-01-2013 à 00:00:28 (S | E)
Hello,
Norman Rockwell was an American painter and illustrator most famous for his cover illustrations. He was born in New York City in 1894 and he died in 1978, he was 84. He was well known for his paintings that had as artistic sense and hyperrealism illustration with themes like everyday American life or civils rights poverty and music. Later these artistic themes would be more political. He was the first of Jarvis Warring Rockwell and Nancy Hill's two sons. His father worked for a textile firm and his mother was a housewife. His parents were of a middle class social background and gave him a very education religious. When he was a student he was nicknamed by the others students “the Deacon” because he was so serious when working on his art
"He was well known for his paintings that had as artistic sense and hyperrealism illustration" je souhaite dire : Il était très connu pour ses peintures qui avaient comme sens artistique l'hyperréalisme et l'illustration.
"His parents were of a middle class social background and gave him a very education religious" J'ai opté pour quelque chose de simple puisque tu voulais que cette phrase ait un sens : Ses parents étaient de classe moyenne et lui ont donné une éducation très religieuse.
Je ne veux pas quelque chose de compliqué mais de très simple, ne sois pas également dur avec moi, je suis novice en anglais, je travaille sans relâche pour améliorer ma copie, je sais que tu es en train de m'aider et je t'en remercie ! Je ne cherche pas à faire quelque chose d'extraodinaire, mais juste donner des informations sur Norman Rockwell en faisant des phrases simples.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 23-01-2013 07:47
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