Correction Bac/guns
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Message de lisa200xd posté le 03-12-2012 à 00:53:03 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
J'ai un texte à faire en anglais et j'aurais besoin d'une correction s'il vous plait : )
At the beginning of the extract we can see , in a bank, a man who wants to open an account that gives the right to a free gun. The bank has a vault in which there are 500 firearms.The bank carries out any checks required before to give him the rifle. Then we can see (trop de répétition qu'est-ce que je pourrais mettre à la place? ) a child with his first gun. As a teenager he was so good shooter that won the prize of "National Rifle Association".
Then we have an interview with a police officer who said that two men have filmed a dog dressed as a hunter with a rifle on his back just for fun. The weapon was then slipped, the dog shot and the bullet is returned to the shin of the victim. The dog was not in custody. Then I find shocking when the man of the beginning of the extract goes to the barber with his rifle in his hands and buy bullets while getting a haircut. Then we see the Michigan Militia in a camp and told that the carrying of weapons guns is an American tradition and an unarmed man is not responsible for and must defend his family and those who do not fail in his duty to America. (ici je veux dire que ceux qui ne le font pas manque à leur devoir d'américain )
In fact if you do not have weapons you're not a man, I find it completely absurd.
We also learn that everyone has a weapon in the militia even women. Arms markets and games with guns are very numerous and the children as well as seniors like to participate. In Utah a law requires all citizens to own a gun. The excerpt shows even a blind have a weapon. I find it incredible and dangerous. He can kill anyone during a burglary for example.
Personally, I think it makes sense to be able to defend yourself but without of weapons that can be dangerous if we use them wrong. The three murders that we have seen in the extract are very shocking, indeed at anytime someone can killed us in the street. On top of that the testimonials are incredible, they sent shivers down my spine ! To sum up this is a smart and very critical of America today documentary that makes us thinking .
Thanks a lot
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Modifié par lucile83 le 03-12-2012 05:32
Message de lisa200xd posté le 03-12-2012 à 00:53:03 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
J'ai un texte à faire en anglais et j'aurais besoin d'une correction s'il vous plait : )
At the beginning of the extract we can see , in a bank, a man who wants to open an account that gives the right to a free gun. The bank has a vault in which there are 500 firearms.The bank carries out any checks required before to give him the rifle. Then we can see (trop de répétition qu'est-ce que je pourrais mettre à la place? ) a child with his first gun. As a teenager he was so good shooter that won the prize of "National Rifle Association".
Then we have an interview with a police officer who said that two men have filmed a dog dressed as a hunter with a rifle on his back just for fun. The weapon was then slipped, the dog shot and the bullet is returned to the shin of the victim. The dog was not in custody. Then I find shocking when the man of the beginning of the extract goes to the barber with his rifle in his hands and buy bullets while getting a haircut. Then we see the Michigan Militia in a camp and told that the carrying of weapons guns is an American tradition and an unarmed man is not responsible for and must defend his family and those who do not fail in his duty to America. (ici je veux dire que ceux qui ne le font pas manque à leur devoir d'américain )
In fact if you do not have weapons you're not a man, I find it completely absurd.
We also learn that everyone has a weapon in the militia even women. Arms markets and games with guns are very numerous and the children as well as seniors like to participate. In Utah a law requires all citizens to own a gun. The excerpt shows even a blind have a weapon. I find it incredible and dangerous. He can kill anyone during a burglary for example.
Personally, I think it makes sense to be able to defend yourself but without of weapons that can be dangerous if we use them wrong. The three murders that we have seen in the extract are very shocking, indeed at anytime someone can killed us in the street. On top of that the testimonials are incredible, they sent shivers down my spine ! To sum up this is a smart and very critical of America today documentary that makes us thinking .
Thanks a lot
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 03-12-2012 05:32
Réponse: Correction Bac/guns de bluestar, postée le 03-12-2012 à 11:42:36 (S | E)
Bonjour..
At the beginning of the extract we can see , in a bank, a man in a bank who wants to open an account that gives the right to entitles him to a free gun. The bank has a vault in which there are 500 firearms.The bank carries out any checks required before to give verbe-ing him the rifle. Then we can see (trop de répétition qu'est-ce que je pourrais mettre à la place? ) a child with his first gun. As a teenager he was so good a shooter that won the prize of a "National Rifle Association" prize.Then we have an interview with a police officer who said that two men have filmed a dog dressed as a hunter with a rifle on his back just for fun. The weapon was then slipped, the dog was shot and the bullet is returned to hit the shin of the victim(owner?). The dog was not in custody
. Then I find it shocking when the man at of the beginning of the extract goes to the barber with his rifle in his hands and to buy bullets while getting a haircut. Then we see the Michigan Militia in a camp and told that the carrying of weapons guns right to bear arms is an American tradition and an unarmed man is not responsible for and must defend his family and those who do not fail in his their duty to as Americans. (ici je veux dire que ceux qui ne le font pas manque à leur devoir d'américain )In fact if you do not have weapons you're not a man, and I find it completely absurd.
We also learn that everyone has a weapon in the militia, even women. Arms markets and games with guns are very numerous common and the children as well as seniors like to participate. In Utah a law requires all citizens to own a gun.(pas vrai!! a verifier) The excerpt shows even a blind person has have a weapon. I find it incredible and dangerous. He can kill anyone during a burglary for example.
Personally, superflu I think it makes sense to be able to defend yourself but without of not necessarily with? weapons that can be dangerous if we use them wrong carelessly. The three murders that we have seen in the extract are very shocking, indeed at anytime any time (deux mots) someone can killed temps? us in the street. On top of that the testimonials are incredible, they sent shivers down my spine ! To sum up this is a smart and very critical of America today documentary (ordre des mots?) that makes us thinking .
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Ma soeur vit à Salt Lake City dans l'Utah. Elle ne possède pas une arme à feu et il n'y a aucune loi qui dit tout le monde doit.
Réponse: Correction Bac/guns de lisa200xd, postée le 03-12-2012 à 11:48:20 (S | E)
Au début je voulais dire que l'arme a glissé et que le chien à tiré et du coup la balle est rentrée dans la jambe de la victime . Le chien n'a pas été en garde à vue ( ici c'est de l'humour en fait )
Je n'ai pas compris les choses en bleus .
Dans le film on nous dit que dans la ville de Virgin dans l'Utah , il y a une loi qui dit que les citoyens doivent posséder une arme .
Thank you very much !
Réponse: Correction Bac/guns de bluestar, postée le 03-12-2012 à 14:00:45 (S | E)
Bonjour...
Vous devez modifier votre texte à lire ... "Dans la petite ville de Virgin, Utah, etc" ..(pas dans tout l'état)
En bleu..."before to give him the rifle"..."to give" est l'infinitif. Vous avez besoin de la forme -ing ici..
The dog....Je préfère l'exprimer de cette façon: "The gun on the dog's back discharged accidentally and the shot hit a bystander" (si c'est ce qui s'est passé)
"Personally" est superflu. "I think etc.," est assez...
"To be able to defend yourself without of weapons"..."without of" ne va pas. Il faut -ing
forme: "without using".
"Indeed at anytime" ...dans ce cas, "anytime" devrait être de deux mots, comme indiqué.
"Someone can killed us in the street"..le participe passé n'est pas approprié ici. "Someone can kill us in the street"..
"and very critical of America today"..devrait être après le nom ("documentary"),pas avant
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Modifié par bluestar le 03-12-2012 14:02
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