Dialogue /Correction

Dialogue /Correction
Message de kennylouis posté le 24-11-2012 à 16:33:46 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
j'ai un dialogue à rendre pour lundi.
J'aimerais, s'il vous plait, que vous m'aidiez à le corriger.
Je me suis aidé de mon dictionnaire, mais j'ai des lacunes en anglais.

Welcome to the final of Fear Factor.
At first, they were sixt. 
But after one month of extremely astonishing challanges
They are three candidates still competing.
For their ultimate test,
they will have to eat one meal.
But not just any meal.
Discover them.
How do you feel psychologically ?
I am stressed, this snake is the most dangerous of the wolrd.
I will win, i am a fighting spirit.
Child, I was afraid of spider .
But today I have a bone to pick.
Pull the language when you have finished .
3,2,1 GO.
The winner is Quentin, Congratulations !
I don't realise ! I thank my family and my friends because it's they who gave me the strength to move forward in this adventure.
For me, i have lost because this is show is far daredevil.
Me, i am desappointed, I have put my life at risks for anything.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 24-11-2012 21:17

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Réponse: Dialogue /Correction de bernard02, postée le 24-11-2012 à 16:52:18 (S | E)
Bonjour,

je vais seulement commencer par vous repérer les fautes d'orthographe en bleu:

Welcome to the final of Fear Factor.
At first, they were sixt.
But after one month of extremely astonishing challanges
They are three candidates still competing.
For their ultimate test,
they will have to eat one meal.
But not just any meal.
Discover them.
How do you feel psychologically ?
I am stressed, this snake is the most dangerous of the wolrd.
I will win, i am a fighting spirit.
Child, I was afraid of spider .
But today I have a bone to pick.
Pull the language when you have finished .
3,2,1 GO.
The winner is Quentin, Congratulations !
I don't realise ! I thank my family and my friends because it's they who gave me the strength to move forward in this adventure.
For me, i have lost because this is show is far daredevil.
Me, i am desappointed, I have put my life at risks for anything.

Bon courage.

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Réponse: Dialogue /Correction de notrepere, postée le 24-11-2012 à 17:29:55 (S | E)
Bonjour

Welcome to the final of Fear Factor.
At first (Au début = In the beginning), they were (il y a) six.
But after one month of extremely astonishing challanges
They are (il y a) three candidates still competing.
For their ultimate test,
they will have to eat one meal.
But not just any meal.
Discover them. (Je ne comprends pas le sens)
How do you feel psychologically ?
I am stressed, this snake is the most dangerous of the wolrd.
I will win, i am (avoir) a fighting spirit.
As a child, I was afraid of spiders .
But today I have a bone to pick.
Pull the language when you have finished . (Cet extrait n'a aucun sens)
3,2,1 GO.
The winner is Quentin, Congratulations !
I don't realise !(autre expression de surprise) I (il faut un conditionnel avec 'would' et le verbe 'like')thank my family and my friends because it's they who gave me the strength to move forward in this adventure.
For me, I have (inutile - le present perfect na va pas) lost because this is show is far daredevil (mal dit).
Me, I am desappointed, I have (inutile - le present perfect ne va pas) put my life at risks for anything (pour rien = for nothing).

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Modifié par notrepere le 24-11-2012 17:30

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Réponse: Dialogue /Correction de kennylouis, postée le 24-11-2012 à 18:53:55 (S | E)
Bonjour,

J'ai corrigé mes fautes, faites-moi parvenir dites moi si j'en ai encore s'il vous plait
Welcome to the final of Fear Factor.
In the beginning, there was sixt.
But after one month of extremely astonishing challenges
There was three candidates still competing.
For their ultimate test,
they will have to eat one meal.
But not just any meal.
How do you feel psychologically ?
I am stressed, this snake is the most dangerous of the world.
I will win, i have a fighting spirit.
As a child, I was afraid of spiders .
But today I have a bone to pick.
Ok. Good luck.
3,2,1 GO.
The winner is Quentin, Congratulations !
I am astonishing ! I would like thank my family and my friends because it's they who gave me the strength to move forward in this adventure.
I have lost because this is show is too dificult for me.
Me, I am disappointed, I had put my life at risks for nothing.

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Modifié par lucile83 le 24-11-2012 21:20

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Réponse: Dialogue /Correction de bernard02, postée le 24-11-2012 à 19:35:33 (S | E)
Hello,
"In the beginning, there was sixt." -> There was a child in the room, but there were ten children in the room. "Sixt" pour traduire "six" ne s'écrit pas comme cela en anglais.
"There was three candidates still competing." -> Idem ci-dessus, donc exemple: there was a cow in the meadow, but there were five horses in the meadow.
Cordialement.

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Modifié par bernard02 le 24-11-2012 19:36
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Modifié par lucile83 le 24-11-2012 21:22

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Réponse: Dialogue /Correction de sherry48, postée le 25-11-2012 à 00:09:22 (S | E)
Hello.
Just a few thoughts...
Welcome to the final __ of Fear Factor. A noun after this adjective would be good, or use a noun form.

I am astonishing ! I would like _ thank my family and my friends because it's they who gave me the strength to move forward in this adventure. (They is a subject pronoun, so you can use it as the subject).

I (have) lost because this is show is too dificult for me.
Me, I am disappointed, I (had) put my life at risks for nothing. (In English, we don't usually use this format, with the object pronoun followed by the subject pronoun...I am disappointed, or As for me, I am disappointed).
Cordialement. Sherry

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Réponse: Dialogue /Correction de gerondif, postée le 25-11-2012 à 18:50:52 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

vous traduisez parfois bien mot-à-mot, à tel point que ça devient incompréhensible pour un correcteur anglophone, un correcteur français voit par contre par transparence ce que vous avez voulu dire.........

Welcome to the final(.....) of Fear Factor.
In the beginning, there was sixt .
But after one month of extremely astonishing challenges
There was(pluriel) three candidates still competing.
For their ultimate test,
they will have to eat one meal.
But not just any meal.
How do you feel psychologically ?
I am stressed, this snake is the most dangerous (one) of(in derrière les superlatifs) the world.
I will win, I have a fighting spirit.
As a child, I was afraid of spiders .
But today I have a bone to pick.
Ok. Good luck.
3,2,1 GO.
The winner is Quentin, Congratulations !
I am astonishing(vous êtes étonnant ou étonné?) ! I would like to thank my family and my friends because it's they who (français traduit, cette forme d'insistance n'existe pas en anglais) gave me the strength to move forward in this adventure.
I have lost because this is(à supprimer) show is too dificult for me.
Me, I(cette forme d'insistance n'existe pas en anglais) am disappointed, I had(concordance des temps) put my life at risks for nothing.

Ah, vous avez supprimé la phrase que notre père ne comprenait pas: "Tirez la langue quand vous aurez fini" "Stick out your tongue when you have finished" où il s'agissait de "tongue" la langue, le muscle, l'organe et non pas de "language", la langue parlée.

idem pour "je ne réalise pas" au sens de "je n'arrive pas à le croire" où il aurait fallu dire: "I can't believe it!"

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Réponse: Dialogue /Correction de violet91, postée le 25-11-2012 à 19:35:50 (S | E)
Hello !

Et insister à tout jamais sur la majuscule définitive à I , pronom sujet 1ere personne singulier. 'Elementary, my dear!'

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Modifié par lucile83 le 25-11-2012 20:36

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