Essai/ correction

Essai/ correction
Message de ayoub96 posté le 06-10-2012 à 23:58:04 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,

j'ai écrit une rédaction et j'aimerais bien que quelqu'un puisse me le corriger
Merci pour vos réponses.
Write an email to your friend telling him/her why you didn’t come to his/her birthday party last Sunday.

Dear xxx
I write to tell you the reason why I didn’t come to your birthday. I know that you fell angry about my absence. But I haven’t choice!
As your requested, I go out home at exactly five o’clock in the afternoon. Or, in my way to your house, I meet my uncle Hamid. I haven’t seen him since six years. He lives in France. This summer, he decides to spend his holiday with us in Casablanca. He tells me to accompany him in our house. I accept. So, I stay all the evening in his front. Imagine if I tell him that I must leave him to meet a friend, what will he think about me? An impolite boy certainly!
That said, I hope that you understand me. So please don’t be angry against me!
Happy Birthday
Your friend Mxxx

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Modifié par lucile83 le 07-10-2012 09:50
Politesse

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Réponse: Essai/ correction de notrepere, postée le 07-10-2012 à 00:53:49 (S | E)
Bonjour

Tout d'abord, il faut respecter le temps de narration. Il s'agit de mettre les verbes au passé (sauf ceux qui expriment une action qui se déroule - He lives in France). Puis la correction continue.

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Réponse: Essai/ correction de ayoub96, postée le 07-10-2012 à 01:19:56 (S | E)
Oui je vois ....je peux me débrouiller. Mais pour les erreurs d'expression, il faudrait que quelqu'un puisse me les dégager.
MERCI D'AVANCE Merci d'avance.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 07-10-2012 09:54

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Réponse: Essai/ correction de notrepere, postée le 07-10-2012 à 01:28:55 (S | E)
Boujour

La correction continuera après avoir corrigé les erreurs déjà signalées. Merci pour votre compréhension.
In other words, if I'm going to spend my free time helping you, you need to show some effort on your own part.
Cordialement

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Réponse: Essai/ correction de ayoub96, postée le 07-10-2012 à 12:42:37 (S | E)
Bonjour

Dear xxx
I write to tell you the reason why I didn’t come to your birthday. I know that you felt angry about my absence. But I had not choice!
As your requested, I went out home at exactly five o’clock in the afternoon. Or, in my way to your house, I met my uncle Hamid. I haven’t seen him for six years. He lives in France. This summer, he decides to spend his holiday with us in Casablanca. He told me to accompany him in our house. I accepted. So, I stayed all the evening in his front. Imagine if I told him that I must leave him to meet a friend, what would he have thought about me? An impolite boy certainly!
That said, I hope that you understand me. So please don’t be angry against me!
Happy Birthday
Your friend Mxxx


Voilà, j'ai rectifié certaines erreurs de concordance des temps.xxx
(désolé notrepere pour mon incompréhension)

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Modifié par lucile83 le 07-10-2012 12:45

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Réponse: Essai/ correction de notrepere, postée le 07-10-2012 à 15:55:47 (S | E)
Hello

I write (forme continue) to tell you the reason why I didn’t come to your birthday. I know that you felt angry about my absence. But I had not choice!
As your requested, I went out left home at exactly five o’clock in the afternoon. Or, on my way to your house, I met my uncle Hamid. I haven’t seen him for six years. He lives in France. This summer, he decides to spend his holiday with us in Casablanca. He told me to accompany him in our house. I accepted. So, I stayed all the evening in his front. Imagine if I told him that I must leave him to meet a friend, what would he have thought about me? An impolite boy certainly!
That said, I hope that you understand me. So please don’t be angry against with me!
Happy Birthday

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