Courriel commercial/aide

Courriel commercial/aide
Message de taranghiano77 posté le 25-09-2012 à 23:47:04 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,

Pourriez-vous s'il vous plait me donner votre avis sur ce courriel commercial et technique?
J'ai un doute sur :
Utilisation de FROM pour traduire : à partir de
Utilisation de deux fois will ? : est-ce bien correct ?
Utilisation de "to purge" ou "purging" ?

D'avance je vous remercie.

Dear Ms xxx,

Hereby I confirmed my presence in Brewery next week from Tuesday until Thursday and my colleague will be present from Wednesday until Friday midday.
I will be in packaging department (consumption monitoring and deep cleaning of Conveyors with PUREXOL 2/SOPUROXID 15) whereas Andrej will spend his time in production department.

I will be able to supply you 2 water filters (free of charge as we agreed) unfortunately the dosing pump “IE” (External injection) is not available and so will be send together with the others engineering items you ordered.
Due to this I propose to purge the dosing pump of lubricant and adapt settings for the dosage of detergent (I will take care of that myself)

Regarding the pay back of CIP return pump we think the savings would be 100 euro

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Modifié par lucile83 le 26-09-2012 08:17

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Réponse: Courriel commercial/aide de gerondif, postée le 25-09-2012 à 23:59:33 (S | E)
Hello,

Dear Ms xxx,

I hereby confirmed(présent) my presence in (your) (ou the)brewery next week from Tuesday until Thursday and my colleague will be present from Wednesday until Friday midday.
I will be in the packaging department (consumption monitoring and deep cleaning of Conveyors with PUREXOL 2/SOPUROXID 15) whereas(signifie mais au contraire, "while", pendant que, va suffire) Andrej will spend his time in the production department.

I will be able to supply you with 2 water filters (free of charge as we agreed) unfortunately the dosing pump “IE” (External injection) is not available and so will be sent together with the others(invariable) engineering items you ordered.
Due to this I propose to purge the dosing pump of lubricant and adapt settings for the dosage of detergent (I will take care of that myself)

Regarding the pay back of CIP return pump, we think the savings would be (amount to, se monter à) 100 euro

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Réponse: Courriel commercial/aide de taranghiano77, postée le 26-09-2012 à 00:02:42 (S | E)
Merci Gérondif !

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Réponse: Courriel commercial/aide de notrepere, postée le 26-09-2012 à 03:47:46 (S | E)
Hello

You've already got your answer and gerondif's tips are very good. I have a few refinements to make in vocabulary and punctuation, should you be interested.

I hereby confirm my attendance (1) at the/your brewery next week from Tuesday until Thursday and my colleague will be present from Wednesday until Friday midday.

I will be in the packaging department (consumption monitoring and deep cleaning of Conveyors with PUREXOL 2/SOPUROXID 15) while Andrej will spend his time in the production department.

I will be able to supply you with 2 water filters (free of charge as we agreed). Unfortunately, the dosing pump “IE” (External injection) is not currently available. When it becomes available, we will send it with the other engineering items you ordered.

For this reason, I plan to purge the dosing pump of lubricant and adjust the dosage settings of the detergent (I will take care of that myself)

Regarding the pay back from the CIP return pump, we think the savings would amount to 100 euros.

(1) I don't think your "presence" can really be confirmed because the event hasn't happened yet.

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Modifié par notrepere le 26-09-2012 03:50

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