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Essay /correction
Message de cyndi95 posté le 25-06-2012 à 13:54:48 (S | E | F)
Hello,
I am learning English and I wrote an essay/paragraph. I would appreciate if you could proofread it for grammatical errors and tell me where I could improve the sentence structures to make the writing better as a whole.
I would really appreciate some help.
After my IGCSE
My exams ended almost two weeks ago. There was a lot of pressure on me since these exams are very important, and so I sacrificed most of my free time. It was very difficult because all my Friends were going out without me whilst I stayed home to study. I, however, had decided to wait until the end of my exams before having fun. I believed that all the hard work would eventually pay off after my exams. Now I have completed them and so, I have a lot of free time. However, contrary to my expectations of having fun, I have to start studying for my A-levels. This is even more challenging because now more than ever, all my Friends are enjoying life.
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Edited by lucile83 on 25-06-2012 14:24
Your sentences are too long ans too complicated.
Message de cyndi95 posté le 25-06-2012 à 13:54:48 (S | E | F)
Hello,
I am learning English and I wrote an essay/paragraph. I would appreciate if you could proofread it for grammatical errors and tell me where I could improve the sentence structures to make the writing better as a whole.
I would really appreciate some help.
After my IGCSE
My exams ended almost two weeks ago. There was a lot of pressure on me since these exams are very important, and so I sacrificed most of my free time. It was very difficult because all my Friends were going out without me whilst I stayed home to study. I, however, had decided to wait until the end of my exams before having fun. I believed that all the hard work would eventually pay off after my exams. Now I have completed them and so, I have a lot of free time. However, contrary to my expectations of having fun, I have to start studying for my A-levels. This is even more challenging because now more than ever, all my Friends are enjoying life.
-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 25-06-2012 14:24
Your sentences are too long ans too complicated.
Réponse: Essay /correction de gerondif, postée le 25-06-2012 à 14:14:44 (S | E)
Hello,
After my IGCSE
My exams ended almost two weeks ago. There was a lot of pressure on me since these exams are very important, and so I sacrificed most of my free time. It was very difficult because all my Friends were going out without me whilst(un peu ancien, whereas au sens de alors que ou while iraient mieux) I stayed home to study. I, however, had decided to wait until the end of my exams before having fun. I believed that all the hard work would eventually pay off after my exams. Now I have completed them and so, I have a lot of free time. However, contrary to my expectations of having fun(un peu maladroit vous voulez dire: instead of having fun?), I have to start studying for my A-levels. This is even more challenging because now more than ever, all my Friends are enjoying life.(sens un peu trop général ou philosophique à mon goût)
are having fun, are taking it easy, are having a good time, are free to have fun.....)
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