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Message de aurore07 posté le 06-06-2012 à 19:31:46 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir.
Je viens de réaliser un résumé d'un texte que je viens de lire.
Pourriez-vous s'il-vous plait m'indiquer ce qui vous semble incorrect?
The Economic X Factor
Following the example of the heroin of sex and the city, we notice that the women are ready of spending more money on sleek items. (Carrie would be willing to spend a fortune for Louboutin shoe heels). Apple and HP prove it by selling beautiful thin computers at a price well above the computer equivalent of another brand.
These companies might hold the secret to success in a rough economic climate. During the last years, women acquired more financial power in our society, particularly in the United States. The pay gap continued to decrease and 35 percent of women now male more (money) than men.
But there are still any number of industries (automotives, travel, …) where women don’t influence their marketing. In technology, the shift is beginning because of commoditization. So, it isn’t a surprise that Apple and HP are the only companies making money. They make things that women enjoy. Other companies have cottoned onto this. For example: Nintendo with Wii fit for older women.
According to Silverstein (a senior partner and managing director at The Boston Consulting Group), women are the second-biggest group of home buyers, right after married couples.
In the U.K., one of the top players in financial services is now Tesco (a grocery store) which women first trust with their food shopping, and later with their savings accounts and car insurance.
D'avance, merci.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 06-06-2012 20:45
Réponse: Résumé/Economy de gerondif, postée le 06-06-2012 à 19:46:05 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
The Economic X Factor
Following the example of the heroin of (majuscules)sex and the city, we notice that the women are ready of spending(infinitif) more money on sleek items. (Carrie would be willing to spend a fortune for Louboutin shoe heels). Apple and HP prove it by selling beautiful thin computers at a price well above the (price of an equivalent computer in another brand?)computer equivalent of another brand.
These companies might hold the secret to success in a rough economic climate. During the last years, women acquired more financial power in our society, particularly in the United States. The pay gap continued to decrease and 35 percent of women now male more (money) than men.
But there are still any number of industries (automotives, travel, …) where women don’t influence their marketing. In technology, the shift is beginning because of commoditization. So, it isn’t a surprise that (if) Apple and HP are the only companies making money. They make things that women enjoy. Other companies have cottoned onto( j'aurais mis on to en deux mots) this. For example: Nintendo with Wii fit for older women.
According to Silverstein (a senior partner and managing director at The Boston Consulting Group), women are the second-biggest group of home buyers, right after married couples.
In the U.K., one of the top players in financial services is now Tesco (a grocery store) which women first trust with their food shopping, and later with their savings accounts and car insurance.
Réponse: Résumé/Economy de aurore07, postée le 06-06-2012 à 20:46:20 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup pour ces corrections. (Et la rapidité de la réponse )
Réponse: Résumé/Economy de bluestar, postée le 06-06-2012 à 21:44:25 (S | E)
Hello,
"Heroine" or "heroines" not "heroin"
"Which women first trusted.."
"..now make more money.."
Réponse: Résumé/Economy de notrepere, postée le 06-06-2012 à 23:19:30 (S | E)
Bonjour
These companies might hold the secret to success in a rough economic climate. During the last few/several years, women acquired (un present perfect vaut mieux) more financial power in our society, particularly in the United States. The pay gap continued (idem) to decrease and 35 percent of women now make more (money) than men.
But there are still any number of industries (automotives, travel, …) where women don’t influence their marketing (mal dit). In technology, the shift is beginning because of commoditization. So, it isn’t a surprise that Apple and HP are the only companies making money. They make things that women enjoy. Other companies have cottoned onto this. For example: Nintendo with Wii fit for older women.
According to Silverstein (a senior partner and managing director at The Boston Consulting Group), women are the second-
In the U.K., one of the top players in financial services
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