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The survivor/correction
Message de desdehace posté le 17-05-2012 à 12:00:52 (S | E | F)
Hello,
Voici, une conversation que j'ai dû écrire en anglais.
Je vous remercie grandement pour toutes les corrections que vous pourrez faire.
How was your day ?
Quite unusual and disturbing …
Why ? What happened to you ?
You know, I was walking … The paper and sooty dust had surged up the avenues. I was alone in the street and I thought of the people who had made yesterday this same march up West Broadway ...
And then what ?
I saw a man … He tried to lean against a Mercedes, he seemed exhausted. A yellow respirator was dangling from his neck like a talisman ...
How did you feel ?
I felt bad. He was pretty wounded, he made no sound … The street and sidewalks were deserted and I felt like we were the two last people on earth ...
What did you do ?
I approached slowly, afraid I might scare him … I didn't say anything, I just gave him water …
Did he drink ?
Yes, he briskly took the bottle with both hands which were raw and bloodied, seeping wounds still wet beneath the dusty grime.
Did he speak to you?
Yes, he told me I was the first person he had seen, unless he was imagining me…
What did you answer ? What did you think ?
I supposed he was in shock or something. I told him I was real …
And then ?
He looked back down in the direction from which he'd come … He said he was supposed to meet his friend Guillermo at Windows on the World …
Yesterday ?
I inquired the same … Then, I understood, I met a survivor of 9/11 ...
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 17-05-2012 14:17
Message de desdehace posté le 17-05-2012 à 12:00:52 (S | E | F)
Hello,
Voici, une conversation que j'ai dû écrire en anglais.
Je vous remercie grandement pour toutes les corrections que vous pourrez faire.
How was your day ?
Quite unusual and disturbing …
Why ? What happened to you ?
You know, I was walking … The paper and sooty dust had surged up the avenues. I was alone in the street and I thought of the people who had made yesterday this same march up West Broadway ...
And then what ?
I saw a man … He tried to lean against a Mercedes, he seemed exhausted. A yellow respirator was dangling from his neck like a talisman ...
How did you feel ?
I felt bad. He was pretty wounded, he made no sound … The street and sidewalks were deserted and I felt like we were the two last people on earth ...
What did you do ?
I approached slowly, afraid I might scare him … I didn't say anything, I just gave him water …
Did he drink ?
Yes, he briskly took the bottle with both hands which were raw and bloodied, seeping wounds still wet beneath the dusty grime.
Did he speak to you?
Yes, he told me I was the first person he had seen, unless he was imagining me…
What did you answer ? What did you think ?
I supposed he was in shock or something. I told him I was real …
And then ?
He looked back down in the direction from which he'd come … He said he was supposed to meet his friend Guillermo at Windows on the World …
Yesterday ?
I inquired the same … Then, I understood, I met a survivor of 9/11 ...
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 17-05-2012 14:17
Réponse: The survivor/correction de notrepere, postée le 17-05-2012 à 14:52:22 (S | E)
HelloI can only find one glaring error in your text.
I was alone in the street and I thought of the people who had made yesterday
(mal placé) this same march up West BroadwayRéponse: The survivor/correction de desdehace, postée le 18-05-2012 à 20:07:06 (S | E)
Thank you very much...
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