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Aide/letter to sister
Message de bristishvintage posté le 22-01-2012 à 13:58:30 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Histoire de m'entrainer, j'ai fait une rédaction en anglais ( sujet bac) . Si vous pouviez me corriger s'il vous plaît, ou juste me dire si c'est faux.Pour les expressions dont je suis pas sûr qu'elles soient bonnes, je les ai mises en bleu et en italique.
Merci pour tout commentaire que vous pourriez m'apporter.
Olive writes a letter to his sister to justify his choise.
Dear sister,
I apologize for not writing you before, I know it has already been quite a long time since the last time you heard about me. You have to know that I am fine. Tom and I, living in a appartement next to Los Angeles, in a little city called Neptune. We are looking for a house, with a little garden. You must be mad at me. I am deeply sorry.
First of all, I need to apologize, I acknowledge that what I did to you was not right. Living you and dady so fast, so sudennly, was, I admitte, not good to you and to our relationship. You have to know that I did not want to hurt you or something like that. I just need it to. I mean, I had to change atmosphere. Doing like mun was still alive, trying to look like her, living in lie, I confess that I was fed up to live in the illusion. So, I left, I get married, and I have started a new life, in a new place. I am not pretending, anymore, I am done with it. First, I was mad at you, you are my sister, so how could you treat me like that ? You had simply put me aside. But, then, I realized that you never feel that, I mean, that you have never fallen in love, ever. I could not be angry at you anymore. I regret that the situation get more worse., and that we do not talk anymore, you do not answer to my phone calls. When I did that, I do not want to stop seeing you and dady. It is you, you ( se refemer sur soi-même je sais pas comment le dire) and you rejet me. So you can be mad at me but you are not innocent.
You remenber when you and I were playing at tea parties. We were so close at this time. I wish that one day we can find again this complicity that we have in the past.
I hope that we will writing me back.
Love From Olive.
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-01-2012 14:32
Message de bristishvintage posté le 22-01-2012 à 13:58:30 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
Histoire de m'entrainer, j'ai fait une rédaction en anglais ( sujet bac) . Si vous pouviez me corriger s'il vous plaît, ou juste me dire si c'est faux.Pour les expressions dont je suis pas sûr qu'elles soient bonnes, je les ai mises en bleu et en italique.
Merci pour tout commentaire que vous pourriez m'apporter.
Olive writes a letter to his sister to justify his choise.
Dear sister,
I apologize for not writing you before, I know it has already been quite a long time since the last time you heard about me. You have to know that I am fine. Tom and I, living in a appartement next to Los Angeles, in a little city called Neptune. We are looking for a house, with a little garden. You must be mad at me. I am deeply sorry.
First of all, I need to apologize, I acknowledge that what I did to you was not right. Living you and dady so fast, so sudennly, was, I admitte, not good to you and to our relationship. You have to know that I did not want to hurt you or something like that. I just need it to. I mean, I had to change atmosphere. Doing like mun was still alive, trying to look like her, living in lie, I confess that I was fed up to live in the illusion. So, I left, I get married, and I have started a new life, in a new place. I am not pretending, anymore, I am done with it. First, I was mad at you, you are my sister, so how could you treat me like that ? You had simply put me aside. But, then, I realized that you never feel that, I mean, that you have never fallen in love, ever. I could not be angry at you anymore. I regret that the situation get more worse., and that we do not talk anymore, you do not answer to my phone calls. When I did that, I do not want to stop seeing you and dady. It is you, you ( se refemer sur soi-même je sais pas comment le dire) and you rejet me. So you can be mad at me but you are not innocent.
You remenber when you and I were playing at tea parties. We were so close at this time. I wish that one day we can find again this complicity that we have in the past.
I hope that we will writing me back.
Love From Olive.
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 22-01-2012 14:32
Réponse: Aide/letter to sister de notrepere, postée le 22-01-2012 à 19:34:56 (S | E)
BonjourDear sister,
I apologize for not writing you before, I know it has already been quite a long time since
First of all, I need to apologize. I acknowledge that what I did to you was not right. Living you and dady so fast, so sudennly, was, I admitte, not good for you
. I mean, I had to change atmosphere
. Doing like mun was still alive, trying to look like her, living a lie, I confess that I was fed up to live (3) in the illusion. So, I left, I get married, and I have started a new life, in a new place. I am not pretending, anymore, I am done with it. First, I was mad at you, you are my sister, so how could you treat me like that? You had simply put me aside. But, then, I realized that you never feel (4) that, I mean, that you have never fallen in love, ever. I could not be angry at you anymore. I regret that the situation get more worse., and that we do not talk anymore, you do not answer to my phone calls. When I did that, I do not want to stop seeing you and dady. It is you, you ( se refemer sur soi-même je sais pas comment le dire) and you rejet me. So you can be mad at me but you are not innocent.You remenber when you and I were playing at tea parties. We were so close at this time. I wish that one day we can find again this complicity
that we have in the past.(1) present perfect
(2) près de = quoi en anglais?
(3) gérondif (verbe + ing)
(4) passé
I hope that we
will writing me back.Love From Olive.
En rouge = inutile
En rose = orthographe
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Modifié par notrepere le 22-01-2012 19:35
Réponse: Aide/letter to sister de bristishvintage, postée le 22-01-2012 à 20:33:35 (S | E)
Hello,
Merci beaucoup pour ton aide, je suis contente de voir que je n'ai pas fait tant de fautes que ça !
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Modifié par lucile83 le 22-01-2012 20:43
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