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Correction / New York City

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction / New York City
Message de jeffr669 posté le 22-01-2012 à 07:58:09 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,

Je dois faire une rédaction en anglais sur New York pour Jeudi.
J'aurais besoin de votre aide en anglais, et pour cela j'aimerais savoir si vous pourriez corriger mon texte s'il vous plaît.
Merci pour votre aide.

Introduction:
New York, batize to "The Big Apple" or "The city that never sleeps" is a city of superlatives. This is one of the largest city in the world, placing it in the Northeast United States of America and located on the Atlantic coast. It is sometimes considered the capital of the world ?( grace )? to many office buildings. But for eight million inhabitant, New York remains a city of district divided into five boroughs. There are Harlem in Manhattan, the Bronx, Queens and Staten Island.

I will you introduce New York eight point:

- Its architecture is world famous with its many skyscrapers, this contributes enormously to the skyline of Manhattan.
- The New York Times is one of the most read newspapers and most prestigious in the world.
- It is a city where the film never stops, the movies (Spiderman, Batman etc ...) or series (Friends, CSI, etc. ..) are the most popular this is real-inspired decor of New York. This is the second film production center in the United States. The important criminal past of the metropolis and attack the Wold Trade Center is a sure source of inspiration for film or stories. Many old neighborhoods are being stuck in thirty years, making it possible to make films with the Italian mafia and Chinese triads.
-The city is also used as part of Video Games, neighborhoods and monuments are carefully remake, this gives a realistic effect and gives the impression of being in the process of visiting the city in every corner.
-New York remains one of the main cultural center of the planet, ?? ( grace ) ?? to the famous museums and enriching, many universities that are deemed to be stormed by students around the world.
-Times Square is very famous for his billboard lights that give the impression of perpetual mouvement, there are also a large concentration of theaters, shops and entertainment .
-Central Park is the lungs of the city and is the most visited park in the contry, it has an area of 341 hectares and circle in many buildings.
-It is very difficult to imagine the streets of New York and particularly those in Manhattan without the famous yellow cabs, which are found in the film or series, there were twelve thousand.

Conclusion

New York is a beautiful city but also much polluted because of too many inhabitants.
It's a city that never sleeps.

Quote

"New York is standing under the signs of the times again. This is a disaster, but a beautiful and dignified disaster. (Le Corbusier )


-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 22-01-2012 08:40


Réponse: Correction / New York City de dragonfly69, postée le 22-01-2012 à 12:03:38 (S | E)
Bonjour,

voici les remarques que je ferais au sujet de votre travail.

New York, batize to "The Big Apple" or "The city that never sleeps" is a city of superlatives -> il faut utiliser un passif, par exemple "called...".

This is one of the largest city in the world, placing it in the Northeast United States of America and located on the Atlantic coast -> ici, vous voulez situer la ville ; il faudrait utiliser un passif comme "situated in".

"considered" est suivi de la préposition "as". Quant à "grace", il suffit de regarder dans le dictionnaire pour trouver que cela se dit "thanks to".

"but for" exprime l'exception. A la place, et dans ce cas, il faudrait utiliser "with".

The New York Times is one of the most read newspapers and most prestigious in the world -> en anglais, on place généralement les adjectifs avant, on dira donc "most read and most prestigious newspapers..."

- the movies (Spiderman, Batman etc ...) or series (Friends, CSI, etc. ..) are the most popular => il semblerait qu'il manque un point.

- this is real-inspired decor of New York => si vous parlez des films, vous pouvez dire "they are shot in New York". En effet, "inspired" semble inapproprié.

The important criminal past of the metropolis and attack the Wold Trade Center is a sure source of inspiration for film or stories => attention ! il faut mettre le verbe au pluriel.

The city is also used as part of Video Games, neighborhoods and monuments are carefully remake => on utilisera la préposition "in" et quant à "remake", il s'agit d'un passif et "make" est un verbe irrégulier !

New York remains one of the main cultural center of the planet => il s'agit de l'un DES centres. "center" sera donc au pluriel.

- there are also a large concentration of theaters, shops and entertainment => attention au verbe. Il est suivi d'un nom singulier "concentration".

- it has an area of 341 hectares and circle in many buildings => n'oubliez pas le "s" à la troisième personne du singulier.

New York is a beautiful city but also much polluted because of too many inhabitants => il serait plus idiomatique d'écrire "because there are..."

J'espère que mes commentaires vous auront aidé.

Bon courage et bonne continuation,
dragonfly69



Réponse: Correction / New York City de jeffr669, postée le 22-01-2012 à 13:27:18 (S | E)
Bonjour dragonfly69,
merci beaucoup de ton aide ! C'est plus agréable à lire.
Je remets le texte modifié ici, si quelqu’un veut corriger.

Introduction:

New York, called to "The Big Apple" or "The city that never sleeps" is a city of superlatives.
This is one of the largest city in the world, situates in the Northeast United States of America and located on the Atlantic coast.
It is sometimes as considered the capital of the world thanks to many office buildings.
With eight million inhabitant, New York remains a city of district divided into five boroughs: there are Harlem in Manhattan, the Bronx, Queens and Staten Island.

I will you introduce New York eight point.

-Its architecture is world famous with its many skyscrapers, this contributes enormously to the skyline of Manhattan.

-The New York Times is one of the most read and most prestigious newspapers in the world.

-It is a city where the film never stops, the movies (Spiderman, Batman etc ...) or series (Friends, CSI, etc. ..) are the most popular.
They are shot in New York thanks to decor.
This is the second film production center in the United States.
The important criminal past of the metropolis and attack the Wold Trade Center are a sure source of inspiration for film or stories.
Many old neighborhoods are being stuck in thirty years, making it possible to make films with the Italian mafia and Chinese triads.

-The city is also used in Video Games, neighborhoods and monuments are carefully made, this gives a realistic effect and gives the impression of being in the process of visiting the city in every corner

-New York remains one of the main cultural centers of the planet, thanks to the famous museums and enriching, many universities that are deemed to be stormed by students around the world.

-Times Square is very famous for his billboard lights that give the impression of perpetual mouvement, there also a large concentration of theaters, shops and entertainment venues.

-Central Park is the lungs of the city and is the most 341 hectares and circles in many buildings.

-It is very difficult to imagine the streets of New York and particularly those in Manhattan without the famous yellow cabs, which are found in the film or series, there were twelve thousand

Conclusion

New York is a beautiful city but also much polluted because there are of too many inhabitants.

It's a city that never sleeps.

Quote

"New York is standing under the signs of the times again. This is a disaster, but a beautiful and dignified disaster. (Le Corbusier )



Réponse: Correction / New York City de jeffr669, postée le 23-01-2012 à 17:49:57 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Y aurait-il encore des fautes ?


-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 24-01-2012 08:01
On dit Bonjour sans s à la fin




Réponse: Correction / New York City de gerondif, postée le 23-01-2012 à 18:13:12 (S | E)
Bonjour,
oui !

Introduction:

New York, called to "The Big Apple" or "The city that never sleeps" is a city of superlatives.
This is one of the largest city(pluriel) in the world, situates in the North East of the United States of America and located on the Atlantic coast.
It is sometimes as considered as the capital of the world thanks to many office buildings.
With eight million inhabitant(pluriel), New York remains a city of district(???) divided into five boroughs: there are Harlem in Manhattan, the Bronx, Queens and Staten Island.

I will you introduce New York eight point.(en vrac)

-Its architecture is world famous with its many skyscrapers, this contributes enormously to the skyline of Manhattan.

-The New York Times is one of the most read and most prestigious newspapers in the world.

-It is a city where the film never stops, the movies (Spiderman, Batman etc ...) or series (Friends, CSI, etc. ..) are the most popular.
They are shot in New York thanks to decor(???).
This is the second film production center in the United States.
The important criminal past of the metropolis and the attack of the World Trade Center are a sure source of inspiration for films or stories.
Many old neighborhoods are being stuck(collées?) in thirty years, making it possible to make films with the Italian mafia and Chinese triads.

-The city is also used in Video Games, neighborhoods and monuments are carefully made, this gives a realistic effect and gives the impression of being in the process of visiting the city in every corner

-New York remains one of the main cultural centers of the planet, thanks to the famous museums and enriching, many universities that are deemed to be stormed(drôle de formulation) by students around the world.

-Times Square is very famous for his billboard lights that give the impression of perpetual mouvement, there also a large concentration of theaters, shops and entertainment venues.

-Central Park is the lungs of the city and is the most 341 hectares and circles in many buildings.(sens? construction bancale)

-It is very difficult to imagine the streets of New York and particularly those in Manhattan without the famous yellow cabs, which are found in the films or series, there were(pourquoi au passé?) twelve thousand

Conclusion

New York is a beautiful city but also much polluted because there are of too many inhabitants.

It's a city that never sleeps.

Quote

"New York is standing under the signs of the times again. This is a disaster, but a beautiful and dignified disaster. (Le Corbusier )




Réponse: Correction / New York City de jeffr669, postée le 23-01-2012 à 20:09:53 (S | E)
Merci gerondif !
Je modifierai le texte demain matin et je le posterai.




Réponse: Correction / New York City de jeffr669, postée le 24-01-2012 à 08:06:09 (S | E)
Bonjour,

voilà j'ai modifié le texte.
Par contre stuck veut dire aussi bloqué ou coincé, source : dictionaries du site.
S'il y a des modifications ou fautes, faite signe merci de me les indiquer.
Merci pour votre aide.


Introduction:

New York, called "The Big Apple" or "The city that never sleeps" is a city of superlatives.
This is one of the largest cities in the world, situate in the Northeast United States of the America and located on the Atlantic coast.
It is sometimes considered as the capital of the world thanks to many office buildings.
With eight million inhabitants, New York remains a city divided into five boroughs: there are Harlem in Manhattan, the Bronx, Queens and Staten Island.

I will you describe New York in eight point:

- Its architecture is world famous with its many skyscrapers, this contributes enormously to the skyline of Manhattan.

-The New York Times is one of the most read and most prestigious newspapers in the world.

-It is a city where the film never stops, the movies (Spiderman, Batman etc ...) or series (Friends, CSI, etc. ..) are the most popular.
They are shot in New York thanks to decor.
This is the second film production center in the United States.
The important criminal past of the metropolis and the attack of Wold Trade Center are a sure source of inspiration for film or stories.
Many old neighborhoods are being stuck in thirty years, making it possible to make films with the Italian mafia and Chinese triads.

-The city is also used in Video Games, neighborhoods and monuments are carefully made, this gives a realistic effect and gives the impression of being in the process of visiting the city in every corner

-New York remains one of the main cultural centers of the planet, thanks to the famous museums and enriching, many universities that are deemed to be stormed by students around the world.

-Times Square is very famous for his billboard lights that give the impression of perpetual mouvement, there also a large concentration of theaters, shops and entertainment venues.

-Central Park is the lungs of the city with more 340 hectares and this is the most visited park in the country and there is surrounded by many buildings business.

-It is very difficult to imagine the streets of New York and particularly those in Manhattan without the famous yellow cabs, which are found in the films or series, there no less than twelve thousand taxi yellow in New York City.

Conclusion

New York is a beautiful city but also much polluted because there are too many inhabitants.
It's a city that never sleeps.

Quote
"New York is standing under the signs of the times again. This is a disaster, but a beautiful and dignified disaster. (Le Corbusier )

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 24-01-2012 09:19



Réponse: Correction / New York City de gerondif, postée le 24-01-2012 à 16:47:58 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

New York, called "The Big Apple" or "The city that never sleeps" is a city of superlatives.
This is one of the largest cities in the world, situate in the Northeast United States of the America and located on the Atlantic coast.
It is sometimes considered as the capital of the world thanks to many office buildings.
With eight million inhabitants, New York remains a city divided into five boroughs: there are Harlem in Manhattan, the Bronx, Queens and Staten Island.(Harlem fait partie de Manhattan, donc il manque un borough!)

I will you describe (ordre de smots, construction)New York in eight point(pluriel s'il y en a 8):

- Its architecture is world famous with its many skyscrapers, this contributes enormously to the skyline of Manhattan.

-The New York Times is one of the most read and most prestigious newspapers in the world.

-It is a city where the(lequel?) film never stops, the movies (Spiderman, Batman etc ...) or series (Friends, CSI, etc. ..) are the most popular.
They are shot in New York thanks to decor.(sens?)
This is the second film production center in the United States.
The important criminal past of the metropolis and the attack of Wold Trade Center are a sure source of inspiration for film or stories.
Many old neighborhoods are being stuck in thirty years(sens? beaucoup de vieux quartiers sont coincés dans 30 ans????), making it possible to make films with the Italian mafia and Chinese triads.

-The city is also used in Video Games, neighborhoods and monuments are carefully made(au sens de reproduits?), this gives a realistic effect and gives the impression of being in the process of visiting the city in every corner

-New York remains one of the main cultural centers of the planet, thanks to the famous museums and enriching, many universities that are deemed to be stormed (sens? qui sont considérées être prises d'assaut??)by students around the world.

-Times Square is very famous for his billboard lights that give the impression of perpetual mouvement, there also a large concentration of theaters, shops and entertainment venues.

-Central Park is the lungs of the city with more **** (plus de)340 hectares and this is the most visited park in the country and there is surrounded by many buildings business(ordre des mots).

-It is very difficult to imagine the streets of New York and particularly those in Manhattan without the famous yellow cabs, which are found in the films or series, there no less than twelve thousand taxi yellow (order des mots + pluriel)in New York City.

Conclusion

New York is a beautiful city but also much polluted because there are too many inhabitants.
It's a city that never sleeps.

Quote
"New York is standing under the signs of the times again. This is a disaster, but a beautiful and dignified disaster. (Le Corbusier )





Réponse: Correction / New York City de jeffr669, postée le 25-01-2012 à 07:15:32 (S | E)
Merci encore gerondif.
J'ai modifié mon texte et je passe aujourd'hui.

Merci beaucoup et a bientôt.



Réponse: Correction / New York City de locnevez, postée le 28-01-2012 à 03:48:26 (S | E)
Bonjour

Harlem n'est pas un borough, il fait partie du borough de Manhattan (Nord de Manhattan à partir du nord de Central Park) et est séparé du Bronx par la Harlem river. Je crois que vous avez omis Brooklyn qui se situe entre Queens et Staten Island.
Sincerely

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 28-01-2012 09:16





Réponse: Correction / New York City de traviskidd, postée le 30-01-2012 à 10:56:52 (S | E)
Bonjour.

En fait je crois que Harlem fait partie du Bronx, pas de Manhattan (à vérifier).

baptiser (sens d'appeler) = to dub
New York City, dubbed "The Big Apple" or "The City That Never Sleeps"....

See you.


-------------------
Modifié par traviskidd le 31-01-2012 11:23
I stand corrected.




Réponse: Correction / New York City de lucile83, postée le 30-01-2012 à 22:03:41 (S | E)
Hello,

Harlem est un quartier du borough de Manhattan, pas du Bronx.Il évolue assez rapidement d'une façon tentaculaire.
Lien internet





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