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Correction/leaving my country
Message de maisam posté le 16-01-2012 à 21:01:42 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
svp je dois rendre cet exercice demain, pourriez-vous le corriger s'il vous plaît?
Merci pour vos réponses.
cordialement
Upon leaving my country, I am 25 years ...
Has gradually strengthened in me the desire to enter the United States is what happened
At the time of separation I did not have the courage to make great friends bid farewell to the village. I left home at ten in the morning. I told my family farewell. Then I kissed him by holding back my tears.
I arrived in the United States with cousins and friends. Finally I finished a long journey of two months, through Mexico, with all its difficulties, cold, heat, rain, lack of sleep, fatigue, pain, fear, anxiety, hunger, thirst, tears, cries, prayers. .. All this, from Mexico to Arizona. But once there stood other two barriers: the question of work and the problem of language. I first worked in an industrial laundry 10 hours a day, $ 5 an hour. Management does not verify the identity of people. It was a really painful. Then I borrowed $ 1,200 to buy a false identity with a social security number. So I worked almost three years in a chicken slaughterhouse. At one point I was even two days, having obtained a second job. All was well. I made friends and we formed a musical group who participated in the life of a parish. We stayed in prefabricated
My life changed abruptly when, in the morning, I was arrested at my home. I did not see the reason for his arrest. I had committed no crime. Later, facing the judge, I understood the charge. I lived and worked under a false name. In addition, the social security number that I bought matched to someone who had committed several crimes and was not paying alimony to his ex-wife. The police then believed to have found the culprit. I spent 87 days in prison under harsh conditions. All mail that I received in Spanish I was not given. That's when I started writing my story with a tiny pencil (pens are not allowed). My handwriting was virtually illegible. I did keep my mind occupied and to seek the meaning of my adventure. A total of 8 times I was called before the court. Finally I appealed to an immigration judge. I had to pay a deposit and I am free.
But legally, I'm not allowed to work. So with the church, I participate in various volunteer projects to help the migrants. This allows me to survive. Despite the distance and time, I do not forget my wife and children. We are thousands, millions having emigrated for better or for worse. Why do so many hardships and trials on our way? "
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Modifié par lucile83 le 16-01-2012 21:21
Message de maisam posté le 16-01-2012 à 21:01:42 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir,
Merci pour vos réponses.
cordialement
Upon leaving my country, I am 25 years ...
Has gradually strengthened in me the desire to enter the United States is what happened
At the time of separation I did not have the courage to make great friends bid farewell to the village. I left home at ten in the morning. I told my family farewell. Then I kissed him by holding back my tears.
I arrived in the United States with cousins and friends. Finally I finished a long journey of two months, through Mexico, with all its difficulties, cold, heat, rain, lack of sleep, fatigue, pain, fear, anxiety, hunger, thirst, tears, cries, prayers. .. All this, from Mexico to Arizona. But once there stood other two barriers: the question of work and the problem of language. I first worked in an industrial laundry 10 hours a day, $ 5 an hour. Management does not verify the identity of people. It was a really painful. Then I borrowed $ 1,200 to buy a false identity with a social security number. So I worked almost three years in a chicken slaughterhouse. At one point I was even two days, having obtained a second job. All was well. I made friends and we formed a musical group who participated in the life of a parish. We stayed in prefabricated
My life changed abruptly when, in the morning, I was arrested at my home. I did not see the reason for his arrest. I had committed no crime. Later, facing the judge, I understood the charge. I lived and worked under a false name. In addition, the social security number that I bought matched to someone who had committed several crimes and was not paying alimony to his ex-wife. The police then believed to have found the culprit. I spent 87 days in prison under harsh conditions. All mail that I received in Spanish I was not given. That's when I started writing my story with a tiny pencil (pens are not allowed). My handwriting was virtually illegible. I did keep my mind occupied and to seek the meaning of my adventure. A total of 8 times I was called before the court. Finally I appealed to an immigration judge. I had to pay a deposit and I am free.
But legally, I'm not allowed to work. So with the church, I participate in various volunteer projects to help the migrants. This allows me to survive. Despite the distance and time, I do not forget my wife and children. We are thousands, millions having emigrated for better or for worse. Why do so many hardships and trials on our way? "
-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 16-01-2012 21:21
Réponse: Correction/leaving my country de maisam, postée le 16-01-2012 à 23:45:15 (S | E)
Personne ne peut m'aider :'( ?
Réponse: Correction/leaving my country de sherry48, postée le 17-01-2012 à 00:46:26 (S | E)
Hello maisam.
First, your story took place in the past, so pay attention to your verbs.
Upon leaving my country, I am 25 years * word missing...
Has gradually strengthened in me the desire to enter the United States is what happened (reorganize this sentence)
At the time of separation I did not have the courage to make great friends bid farewell to the village. I left home at ten in the morning. I told my family farewell. Then I kissed him by holding back my tears.
I arrived in the United States with cousins and friends. Finally I finished a long journey of two months, through Mexico, with all its difficulties, cold, heat, rain, lack of sleep, fatigue, pain, fear, anxiety, hunger, thirst, tears, cries, prayers. .. All this, from Mexico to Arizona. But once there stood other two barriers: the question of work and the problem of language. I first worked in an industrial laundry 10 hours a day, * $ 5 an hour. Management does not verify the identity of people. It was a really painful. Then I borrowed $ 1,200 to buy a false identity with a social security number. So I worked almost three years in a chicken slaughterhouse. At one point I was even two days, having obtained a second job. All was well. I made friends and we formed a musical group who participated in the life of a parish. We stayed in prefabricated *.
My life changed abruptly when, in the morning, I was arrested at my home. I did not see the reason for his arrest. I had committed no crime. Later, facing the judge, I understood the charge. (plural) I lived and worked under a false name. In addition, the social security number that I bought matched to someone who had committed several crimes and was not paying alimony to his ex-wife. The police then believed to have found the culprit. I spent 87 days in prison under harsh conditions. All mail that I received in Spanish I was not given. That's when I started writing my story with a tiny pencil (pens are not allowed). My handwriting was virtually illegible. I did keep my mind occupied and to seek the meaning of my adventure. A total of 8 times I was called before the court. Finally I appealed to an immigration judge. I had to pay a deposit and I am free.
But legally, I'm not allowed to work. So with the church, I participate in various volunteer projects to help the migrants. This allows me to survive. Despite the distance and time, I do not forget my wife and children. We are thousands, millions having emigrated for better or for worse. Why do so many hardships Bon courage. Sherry
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